My Aunt's 50th birthday is today and we are throwing her a surprise birthday party.The problem is I really don't like my aunt... I can't stand being in the same room with her!
1) She ignores me and then when she finally notices me she insults me.
2) My older sister is her favorite and she has no problem with comparing us. My sister always being the greater.
3)When I was younger she treated me like sh!t.
4) She cusses like a sailor and she is loud and obnoxious!
5) 2 years ago I got sick with the stomach flu and lost alot of weight.(I'm naturally skinny) I was 80 pounds! When she saw me she told everyone that I was anoerix and bulimic! Now everytime I see her she always brings up how I was starving myself and how sickly I looked even though I'm back to my healthy size.
6)She is VERY superficial/high maintenance
7)This one made me lose respect for her: She uses the foster kids for their money!
2007-08-31 05:31:46 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
She was a social worker so she thinks she knows everything! I don't think I can take her insults any longer or about how much money she has! How can I deal with my aunt. Oh and she is not one you just confront! She will actually get in a fist fight if you rub her the wrong way!
2007-08-31 05:34:46 · update #1
Tequilanikka: What you say is not true. I admit that at one point in my life I did want her to like me but I don't care anymore. Also I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I was simply asking how to deal with her at a party I am FORCED to go to. Thank you for your opinion though.
2007-08-31 06:17:50 · update #2
Grin and say "Oh Auntie . . . ." in that 'there she goes again' tone.
Excuse yourself as soon as polite. "Love to stay but I have plans!" (Your plan is to get the hell out of there but who needs to know that)
"I don't care to discuss that"
"The topic is closed."
(Follow this one up by gettting up and leaving the room if you have to)
Here's a fun conversation:
Auntie says something rude, perhaps about your 'eating disorder'
"That is an interesting assumption you just made."
Auntie: "What's that supposed to mean?"
You: "The assumption you just made about me. It's completely wrong, but fascinating nonetheless."
Finally, may I suggest bringing her a nicely wrapped etiquette book as a gift?
2007-08-31 05:43:15 · answer #1 · answered by LX V 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I had a simular situation. I had a great aunt that HATED me but due to family dynamics I was forced to be in her lovely company. Best advice: avoid if possible but I know that is not always the case. If you must be there be nice and courteous as hard as it maybe (it was REAL hard at times) because if she is the witch that mine was she will only turn the tables on you to make you look bad. Duck out to another part of the house if you need to. This is a one day event so to speak so if you cant get out of it...grin and bear it. It also helps to have some personal plans to do something fun later in the day (after the "party") so you can have somthing positive to focus on! Good luck and I sincerly hope this goes well for you as hard as it can be............
2007-08-31 12:44:40 · answer #2 · answered by jetratkat 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know you have a strong dislike for her, but she is your aunt.
Just give her respect for being a human and an Older lady.
You know deep down inside you are a better person than her, feel sorry for her and just pay her respect as you would a stranger.
I would put her on a "speak when spoken to" list.
If you feel like you can't take her nonesense then step out of the room and get some air.
Think of calming things.
Be peaceful and be stronger than those who have negativity.
Show her how much you have grown........
2007-08-31 16:04:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm sounds like your best bet is to just ignore her. Just say "mmhmm," "yup," "oh yes auntie, you're right, I was sooo anorexic" ( in a bored, sarcastic way). She just wants a reaction out of you so if you ignore her or even kill her with kindness she might stop. Desn't sound like you are going to ever build a strong relationship with her so try to enjoy yourself at the party by staying on the other end of the room.
Maybe she will be in good spirits and leave you alone. You could also wrap a muzzle for her for a present haha.
2007-08-31 12:52:57 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You say you are forced to go to this party. That being the case, and knowing you don't like your Aunt, try staying as far away from her as possible. If she does happen to come up to where you are, simply tell her Happy Birthday and walk away before she has a chance to say anything rude to you. Good Luck and try to have a good time.
2007-09-01 10:28:58 · answer #5 · answered by pj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So don't go to the party. Or if you do go, show up, give her a present, wish her a happy birthday and leave. It's up to you to take the high road. You don't have to play with her. If she's abusive to you, you do not have to be around her if you don't want to. If you are young, and your mother makes you go, then bring a book. Sneak off into the yard and read. If anyone asks, just tell them you are studying for school.
2007-08-31 12:42:01 · answer #6 · answered by Yup Yup Yuppers 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I too have relatives that I cannot stand. I sometimes have to go to parties with them. Since there are other people at the party, I spend as much time with others as possible. I politely say "Hello" and "Good bye" but do not start conversations and never do anything to extend conversations. When they say something unpleasant to me, I smile and then walk away.
Try this & you might just have a good time at the party.
2007-08-31 13:53:06 · answer #7 · answered by Ranto 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh baby I've been around a couple of these as well in my time but I have to admit none was a family member.
First, if the party is not at your house which by the way you feel I suspect it's not - I say, send your regrets, send a neutral gift and avoid her at all costs!
Second, if in fact you were "roped" into having said party at your place, here is exactly what I'd say when she walks in the door:
"Hello Aunt _____ and happy birthday! I do so hope everyone has come to enjoy a lovely party in YOUR most delightful honor!" Come in won't you!?" And if she starts any sh!t, hey its your place and you just stop her cold and say:
"I'm sure this can be held off til another time but I just do not allow unhappy birthday parties. Now let's continue in a happy frame of mind, shall we?!"
I'm more than sure that will cook her goose in such a (kill 'em with kindness) way as to make her feel like royal poo!
And it may even stop her cold from ever attacking YOU again!
BUT, be as syrupy sweet when you say it! That is IF you have to say it!
Good luck, sweetie!
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Ok, so you are being hogtied to go to this soiree! Here's what I'd do and it's truly a (kill 'em with kindness) attitude.
But honey, you're gonna have to toughen up to do it and I do mean as gracefully as possible!
When she starts in on you, say this: "Oh, my dear Aunt __________, I truly would not have missed a moment of your lovely party as I know I'm going to receive so many accolades from you on my appearance and I just wouldn't have missed that for the world but I can assure you my dear auntie________ that I will take all of your sweet kind and loving suggestions to heart, truly I will. Now let's continue your lovely party, we're all having such a wonderful time!" AND SMILE, SMILE, SMILE! Hell, it may even kill her right there!
Oh, and the reason you must use these words, is you must come across to her hateful soul with exactly the kind of wording someone like her will truly understand, high falutin' fancy talk. She won't have a way to respond, trust me!
And again, you have got to come across as so syrupy sweet that she will melt to the floor like the wicked witch that she is! Trust me, kill 'em with kindness always works wonders!
And be sure to wish her a very auspicious occasion from me! A true bred Southern Belle!
P.S. She goads you on because she knows she can. Use what I gave you, it will work, honey!
2007-08-31 13:23:41 · answer #8 · answered by bpgagirl22 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just because you go to a party doesn't mean you have to interact with her. Do you have another relative that doesn't like her? Take care of each other and rescue each other whenever she comes near you.
Are you a student? Employed? Take something you have to do - a book that has to be read, a report completed. Say hello, happy birthday and excuse yourself to somewhere quiet to work. And then be sure you are working on something.
2007-08-31 13:47:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, but dont go. I am sure you are going to miss everyone else there. But you say she wont take it if you try hurling insults back at her. And she is probably the kind if you tell her that she is hurting you with her words or that if offends you, she would continue to do so or make it worse. Maybe you can let someone else who is going how she makes you feel and that is why you aren't there at the party?
2007-08-31 12:43:01 · answer #10 · answered by ron197192064 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Smile graciously and deal with her as little as possible
when she is in the room and you have to deal with her be sure there are always others present or leave the room. As for the party stay busy and in the background so she never really sees you. I had a grandmother this way and eventually she came around--many years later
2007-08-31 12:42:36 · answer #11 · answered by Cherish B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋