has anyone noticed?

Question

I am a stay at home mother of a 5 month old. i decided to stay at home and raise my kids instead of putting them off on a babysitter, and i have read about attachment parenting, and applied some of it to my daily life with her. she is very well behaved and rarely cries, but i have so many friends that have jobs outside the house, they complain how hard it is to have children. oh my children behave so badly and oh my children are so jealous of eachother they fight when i am home. now i do not find being a parent difficult at all, i have noticed the parents that work outside the home tend to have misbehaving kids, and they are the parents that complain about parenting being so hard. they are never with their kids so how is it so hard for them? and maybe if they didnt work all the time to get away from them they wouldnt act out to get the attention of the parent. i understand single parents with no choice but to work. but ones who have the choice, has anyone noticed the difference in kids

Answer 1

I totally agree with you although I am sure not all children of working parents behave badly. Of course every child I know of a working parent is badly behaved and treats their parents very disrespectfully. And these parents that I know personally also complain to me all the time how much they can't stand being parents and they think I am crazy for staying home with them. It drives me crazy! The kids are like that because they want and need their parent's attention. Mothers should always put their children over their career first. There is no excuse in the world that justifies putting your kids in day care unless your husband takes off with his secretary! I have not worked in 5 years and I have a BSED in Elementary Education. I know when all my kids are in school that I can always have a career again. I will never have to regret missing out on my children growing up-you can never get that back.

Answer 2

You know I think this is a biased perspective. I stay at home with my 3 kids, 8 yr old (with special needs), and 5 yr old and a 1 year old. You are right that when you have a 4-5 month it is not difficult and I enjoyed it very much. But now that my boys are 8 and 5 they fight constantly, they misbehave and try to run rampant. It is very hard, I have to be on them all the time. You cannot say that you think it's a breeze parenting when you only have a little baby girl. Wait until you have 1 or 2 more and they will fight, they will drive you nuts, and you will be begging to go back to work. Attachment parenting or not, kids will be kids. Yes we can break their spirits and mold them into our perfect little person, but in the end I would rather raise 3 well adjusted, happy children who have had to learn that misbehaving will get you in trouble. (Not taught to not misbehave ever). I do agree with you that some children act out more because their parents both work, but I have seen it both ways. I know a little boys that was a terror while I watched him, but a perfect angel when mommy got home. I hope this made sense, I am not trying to put you down, but I have been both a working mom, and a stay at home mom, and personally I have seen no difference in behavior.

Answer 3

no offense...but your child is 5 months old. who is she going to fight with (she's an only child and is a baby).

I work outside the home and my child is very well behaved. Whether the parents work or don't isn't the issue here (IMO). Rather it is how the parents and caregiver work together to raise the children. If the parents and caregivers are on the same page and teach the child manners and how to be respectful, then the kids will be well behaved and things will be easier.

That being said, my daughter is not "easy" even though she is well behaved. Raising children is not a vacation, it is work (like marriage). The bottom line is - some people like to complain about anything and everything to get people to feel sorry for them or sympathize with them.

Answer 4

I was a stay at home mother until all of my children went to school. I also babysat for about a dozen kids, some all day, some only after school, etc. The life was such that all of my children were exposed to the needs of others, and learned how to get along, how to compromise, what to expect from others, how to treasure something special, etc. I considered myself a single mom, and one day up and left with all of them. It was the best decision ever. The times where you will find you want to pull out your hair out is when you have more than one Toddler or teen. The best is yet to come.

Answer 5

congratulations on your choice to stay at home with your baby- you wont regret it. i really thought that parenting was a breeze when i had only one child as well. as i have had more children, and those children became toddlers and school age, it became a whole different ballgame. you ask how is it that parenting is so hard? regardless of whether you are a SAHM, WAHM, or WOHM, parenting becomes much harder as the child(ren) gets older, and as you throw more kids into the mix. these kids have mnds of their own and most requests become negotiations on their part. and every sibling relationship contains fighting, whether you are at home with them or not. and really, once they are in school, they are gone all day too, so it matters little if you are home all day or at work at that point. i am a WAHM and it is very difficult some days.....i love my children dearly but a mom needs a break sometimes too! good luck to you!

Answer 6

I was Blessed to be a stay at home Mom until our boys started school. I then went back to work. I wasn't really concerned about what other people did with their children. Looking at things today, I do think parenting has changed a lot. Some parents don't seem to want to be bothered with children any more. I felt it was MY responsibility and not every one Else's. I am thankful for every minute I spent with my children. They are grown now, we are still very close. The best thing I know to say to you is DON'T spend your time worring about what other parents do. Just enjoy your Blessings. Children grow up so fast you will not regret holding on to every moment. GOOD LUCK, AND ENJOY!!!

Answer 7

As I have said before in other posts here. Back in and before the 1960s there was a stay at home parent in most every home. A home was just that a home. Then one of the neighbours decided to both go into the work force. Greed then came over others and both parents entered the work force to keep up with their neighbours ( called keeping up with the Jones ) .
Children were now left to day-cares and day-cares became a big money making business.
Because the children are now left alone and when the parents do come home, they are too tired to care, children are either over or under disciplined. To discipline a child properly, you have to have good bonding with the child. This is no longer possible because of the greed for money and the almighty plastic cards which keeps people in debt. There is the single parent, that requires to work to put food on the table. That is one exception and nothing can help that.
To answer your question YES there is a great difference.
( Connie Mom of 4 and 5th grade teacher )

Answer 8

um, well...where to start?

for starters, your baby is only 5 months old! what is she going to do? steal the car? get a tattoo? gimme a break.

my son is 2 weeks shy of 6 months. he is a very calm baby, has been since birth. unfortunately, i have to work and so does his father. we also attend college. my son stays with his grandma about 5 days a week for 5 or 6 hours. he is still a calm little guy and gives us no trouble. but yeah, he is only 6 months!

i don't think that working outside of the home has anything to do with how well-behaved your kid is; that depends on how hard you work at teaching good morals and manners in their every day life. this starts at birth. i know moms who stay home that have tiny terrors, so really, your idea is total crap. i also believe that some young kids have more difficult personalites, but that just means you have to work a little harder.

so, quit trying to toot your own horn.

Answer 9

what kind of trouble do you think a 5 month old can get into???
well first off most familys need 2 working parents. todays society just isnt made to be stay at home moms unless your fortunate enough to have a husband who makes a lot of money. I am a working mother and my kids are not in daycare. my husband and I work different shifts. I would love to be able to stay home with my childen every day. Mabey if the economy gets better then youll see more stay at home moms. most moms dont work to get away from their kids. most work so the can provide for their kids. how dare you even think your so much better than these mothers who wok so hard to make sure their childrens needs are met. you never know what might happen in thr futer. god forbid I hope this never happens but.... what if your husband lst his coushy job and you had to go to work? you would eat your words. good luck and never judge anyoneuntill youve been in their shoes.

Answer 10

I decided to stay home. I couldn't live with my conscience, knowing that a babysitter was raising my child.

However, the fact that these other parents are mentioning "jealousy" makes me think that their kids are way older than your 5 month old baby.

Other issues happen when kids get older, that sometimes have nothing to do with them being with a babysitter.

However, the fact that the parents you know are having a tough time is a typical scenario...the kids get home from daycare, and have very little time to spend with mom and dad, and therefore fight for their opportunities for quality time.

The parents are already exhausted, and are dying for some personal time, but then have to use their only extra time trying to make up for the lost hours they didn't spend with their kids during the day!

I think it is best to stay home with kids, but it isn't possible for many families.