Major dilemma? My 7 year old daughter has just asked is Santa real?

Question

I hate to tell her so young but she said she just wants to know the truth, my hubbie says no she is too young but my sister says yes she has worked it out already. what should i do and does anyone have any tips for breaking it gently or for keeping the magic up a bit longer???? please help.

Answer 1

Yeah, if she wants to know the truth, then tell her, I'm 15, and I remember when I was that age, I wanted to know if Santa was real, and my parents told me he wasn't, and I was fine with it, yeah go ahead and tell her the truth.

Answer 2

I kept it going as long as I could with my daughter. Its a lovely childhood fantasy and adds a little bit of magic to everyones lives and makes Christmas that little bit more special.
I've never been allowed to stop believing in Father Christmas! My Mum loves the magic of Christmas so if we go to hers for Christmas then we all have to pretend to believe in Santa or he won't leave us our stockings! Its all just a bit of fun and doesn't do anyone any harm. I think my daughter knew the truth a long time before she admitted it to my Mum-so even she played along for 'Nanny's' sake and the fun it it.

Its not a lie. We're telling our kids its a Fantasy Fairy Tale. Theres nothing wrong with keeping it going as long as possible. How can there be when all its doing is creating happiness and long lasting fond memories.

Kids aren't daft anyway. I don't think we give them nearly enough credit. The fact that she asked the question proves that she already knows really. But if you tell her there is a Santa she'll probably play along anyway (thinking ' I'll go along with it if it keeps Mum & Dad happy!). It just turns into a whole new game then.

I think you should keep it going for her. Childhood should be full of all the magic and fairy tales and fun. In years to come she'll look back with more fondness at you all playing and pretending with each other that there is a Santa rather than remembering at the age of 7 asking if he was real and being told 'No sorry love it's all a lie'

Answer 3

I always wonder why kids get punished for lying, yet parents have no trouble with lying about Santa. You should have been honest with her from day 1. Just sit her down and tell her, the sooner the better, and tell her that you and your husband never should have let her believe a lie.

I didn't find out the truth about Santa from my parents. A friend told me. So you tell her ASAP before something like this happens.

Explain to her that Christmas should never be about getting presents. Maybe at Christmas you can get your kids one or two things, and then take them shopping to get homeless kids some toys and let them give these kids those toys. Teach her that giving like that shouldn't only be one time of year, but all year long. Maybe take them shopping once a month for a toy for a homeless child.

P.S. I have friends who were honest with their kids from day 1 and never let them believe in Santa, and Christmas is just as special, if not more special, because they know the real reason(even though it's actually a pagan holiday originally). Some of them are Christian, but don't celebrate Christmas, due to they believe such things should be year round. They have been taught from Day 1 about what it means to be giving.

Answer 4

Right after Easter last year, my at the time, 6 year old son said, as I was tucking him in for bed, "Boy Mom it sure is odd how the Easter Bunny and Santa always know what I want even when I don't say it anyone. Ain't it?" I reminded him of the letter we mail to Santa, but he cut me off and said, "I don't always tell Santa everything I want, but I still get it, and no letter is sent to the Easter Bunny and he brought me the NASCAR clock I wanted."

(Now we have tried so hard to hide and sneak presents. We built up Santa and the Easter Bunny, but we are Christians and teach the real reasons for Christmas and Easter and Santa and the Bunny are secondary.)

Kids are so smart. My son looked at me and asked, "Mommy you wouldn't tell me anything untrue would you?" My husband and I cracked. We realized that to continue the cherade would just cause more confusion later on. (I had been fighting the urge to tell him the truth anyway. I hate lying to him and giving credit to some fictious being.) We looked him in the eyes and told him the truth, but...We explained to him that our parents had told us the same when we were kids. We just wanted to carry on the tradition and try to have as much fun as possible. He took it well and when Christmas last year roled around it ended up being the best one yet. He knew all the presents came from us and he was so much more appreciative and thankful. Plus he liked watching that pile of presents under the tree get bigger every week until Christmas came. He was so excited, more then he had ever been. It turned out to the best Christmas. The same was true for Easter. He even helped color the eggs. We had a blast doing everything as a family. It was great.

All in all, it's up to you. She has let you know that she doubts it's true basically. We told our son the truth and then created our own new family traditions. We have more fun now then ever.

Answer 5

I really feel sorry for you, because I would hate it if my child asked me that question when he's 7. It just seems so young not to believe anymore, and how fantastic it was when I was a little girl to believe that he was coming and to imagine him leaving me lots of things while I was sleeping and then the waking up on Christmas morning about 5am full of excitement, wanting to know if he had been or not.
I think I would explain that some people believe he's real and that others dont and that I do. But he does have a little help from Mummys and Daddys because there are so many children in the world and his reindeers are getting old now and cant fly as fast as they used too.
I know its lying and I know its wrong but its Santa! who ever grew up hating their parents because they told them Santa wasnt real. It would be a bit different if she was 12.

Answer 6

I believed in Santa till I was 9 years old. I never wondered if he was real or not. Then one day my parents told me the truth. I remember being devastated because at that same moment that my parents told me I also realized the Easter bunny and tooth fairy were not real either! So, I say tell her the truth now since she is asking. There are other magical things about Christmas that you can still share with her for the rest of your lives.

Answer 7

My daughter started asking me the same thing at around age 7 also. she is now 10 and I have a 6 yr old son. There are lots of kids at school that do not believe and always say there is no such thing as Santa. I just ask her what she believes. I also tell her if you do not believe in something how would it be useful to you. That goes for anything not only Santa... I am sure at age 10 she does not believe anymore but I keep it up for my son..

Answer 8

Don't lie. If she has asked so directly, then she is old enough for the truth. If you lie and she later finds out you may lose her trust. Just let her know theat everyone pretends there is a santa even they know otherwise, because of the extra fun it causes. Guess it's time to start making those Christmas wish lists!

Good luck.

Answer 9

I think you should keep up the magic for longer! Once it's gone it's never coming back.

I loved Santa and how magical he was!

To this day no presents can be under the tree until really late Christmas eve and I have to put mine there first lol so it's like Santa did it when i was in bed he he he

Answer 10

I believe you should perpetuate the myth.

My sons are 17 and 19 now and although they are aware of the obvious - my wife and I have never openly told the truth. We never will. I still put out a carrot and sherry on Christmas Eve.

When she figures it out - deny it. When she knows - she will appreciate the charade. When every other parent has sold the dream for the sake of their childs 'growing up', you will still have that special time and relationship.

There will always be magic. Even when she is older and you still refer to Santa she will recall when it meant so much to her. The safety of your arms and the beloved presents meant so much. Some things she will keep and still treasure because of those memories

She will lose some magic, maybe a little, maybe a lot, when you tell the truth.

SO DON'T TELL.

Answer 11

I actually called my mom and asked her...my brother and sister asked I never did so i wasn;t sure what to say when you asked this but it got my thinking. My mom is a very honest person, so she told the truth but she also told the truth about St. Nick. That he WAS a real person at one point and we just continue with the tradition. She also told them that it was fun to pretend and its a fun way to have Christmas and also it wasn't their job to burst anyone else's bubble. All families are different its ok for other to believe so you know th truth and its for you to know not to share.


My brother took it very well and he was actually more excited about christmas because he he didnt have to worry about this guy that he didnt know. However my mom to this day and my brother is 38, sister 30 and me 23 still writes "from Santa" on some of our presents. She also kept up the tradition because she explained it was fun to pretend. My brother everytime she would come home with a bag would jump at it it was kinda funny and the he would try so hard to try to find the hiding places...its kinda made it fun.

For me I didn;t ask because I think my sister tried to burst that bubble for me and i decided she was lying. I think when i finally figured out when he wasnt real was when i was old enough to reconize my mom's handwriting..but I was ok with it I didnt want anything to change so I never asked. I love that my mom continues with "from Santa" tradition...just because you know the truth doesn;t mean its not fun to pretend.