Pleaze help me i dont wanna do this im only 14!!!!?

Question

i have been having alot of thoughts lately and my peers have been encouraging me to have sex but im too young and i know its not right b4 marriage!!! how can i not do it?? its very tempting!!

ok i recently asked people if sex was bad for them, if they didi it b4 marraige almost everybody said it was ok, and they had no regrets! i dont know what to do............

Answer 1

Make up your mind you are going to please God, not your friends.

"Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.
It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit." I Thessalonians 4:1-8

Maybe some of them feel the same way.
Otherwise, it might be time for some new friends.

Answer 2

Those peers are not your friends.
They are other teens who either already made the mistake and selfishly want to have you along to prove it's acceptable.
They are other teens who want to take advantage of you because you're "fresh meat".
They are other teens who are afraid like you, but hope that you will do it first to erase the fears.
They will tell you that if you really love them, you will do what they say. It's not true!
Maybe they have an STD and figure if they can infect you, when someone finds out about it, they can blame you.
They want to have an adventure, they are the hunters and you are the prey.
They will dare you, beg you, and maybe even try to force you - don't trust these peers - who knows if they would drug your soda to get thier way.
This may look like fun, but there can be dire consequences when not well-thought out and planned.
Lemurs follow thier pack by the hundreds - thier most famous feat is when one lemur jumps a cliff, the rest follow, and guess what happens?
Are you planning to be a leader, or a follower? Are you planning to think for yourself, or let others make your decisions?
If you are female, do you have the time and money to care for a child, if you were to become pregnant? Could you concentrate on school? Do you have tons of patience and willingness to be tied down (no more free time, no more outings, no more hanging out, only crying baby, dirty diapers, tons of bills, potty-training, DCFS, possibly drug-addiction and jail?), staying at home, can't watch a full movie, weight gain, stretch marks, etc., etc.? Just so you know, no contraceptive (except celibacy) is 100% effective (look it up), so you always run the risk.
Dump these peers if they don't support your decision, change schools if you have to, or, much easier still, show them that you are in control of your life, not they.
I think you'd want better for yourself.

Answer 3

I will be turning 14 in October, and will stay a virgin until marriage because of non-religious reasons.

Just say "No" when your friends encourage you. Also, read up on things such as teenage pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Diseases. It will discourage you.

Since you're Christian, it will probably help you to pray, and consult the Bible.

Also, talk about this with your parents. Say "Mom, Dad, I have been having a lot of thoughts lately and my peers have been encouraging me to have sex, but I'm too young, and I know its not right before marriage. How can I not do it? It's very tempting. Please help me." This is a tough step, and I won't judge you if you don't do it, but it would be the right thing to do.

Answer 4

Not do it? Say NO. Gosh, its really not that hard. People will respect you tonnes more if you dont. 14 is too young. Sure you think your mature. Ive been there, done that, and i can tell you, at 14, your just not emotionally/psychologically mature enough to handle something like sex. Its not even about getting married. Its about being sure of yourself, who you are and what you want.
DONT let society or peer pressure get to you. Get support and positive peer influence from an outside circle of friends. Maybe from a church or a community youth group. Whatever the case, just be strong willed, and clear in what you KNOW is good for you.

All the best.
Cheers!

Answer 5

Why should you have to do something because it tempts you ?
You should be able to control your temptations. Don't let your friends/peers ruin your life. I was almost tempted to do drugs by my peers because of the peer pressure, but I didn't.
I still have cigarettes in my room that I was going to use.. but I didn't. See, we were still at school at that time when I was tempted to do drugs, so we would have HEALTH CLASS, and our teacher would talk about sex and drugs and what it does to affect/ruin your life.
Remember the only reason for having sex is to create a new life... and I'm pretty sure you don't want to do that at AGE 14 ? So, therefore saying, don't be an idiot just because you peers are doing it. I'm abstaining against sex and drugs... sex until I'm married, so I don't know why you can't abstain either.

Be wise, love.
If you need to, talk to someone about it.

Answer 6

Sweetie, you seem to be a very intelligent young lady and I'm so proud of you for wanting to do the right thing. There's really nothing I can tell you to persuade you to wait until marriage; that's a decision you'll have to make for yourself. I didn't wait and have regretted it every day since then.

It's especially hard when your friends are all having intercourse. You don't want to feel left out. I understand completely. But you'll be a stronger person for setting boundaries for yourself and learning self-discipline. As you get older the temptations only get stronger: smoking, alchohol, drugs...if you learn to stick to your beliefs, you'll be a happier and stronger person because of it. If you would like to email me, just let me know. I'd love to try to help you through this difficult time.

Answer 7

I'm sure it's tempting, but you are only 14. You have a lifetime to grow up and have sex. Just by asking this question you know what is right and wrong for you to do. Wait until you are older, you will be glad you did.

Is there a way to meet other kids that won't pressure you? Tell them to leave you alone about it. Ask them why they care so much about what you do with your life? Nosy, busybodies! MYOB! Mind your own business! RIght?

Answer 8

Stay out of situations where you will be tempted (participate in group activities only). Avoid being alone with the opposite sex. Be careful about what you watch, listen to and talk about. Make it clear to your peers that this is not something you will discuss with them. Find an adult you trust and talk to them about what you are feeling. Do not dwell on the thoughts. When they come, get busy doing something.

Answer 9

If you're like me and you truly believe it's wrong, then you won't do it. I'm almost 18 and I don't care what others say or do, that's their business. I don't listen to anyone if they tell me I should take that step, though that rarely happens because I've established myself as a prudish person. I've chosen to remain chaste until marriage and I'm happy with that decision because I feel it's right-not only because it's what my religion says, but also because I don't feel I'm personally ready for it. I too think I'm too young. Because I am. Sure every teenager has thoughts, but those are just thoughts. It seems as though you think you're too young as well, so imagine how you'd feel after. Would you be happy or would you regret it?

Answer 10

You get chance to lose your virginity.

When you get older you can either look back on that time with regret or satisfaction.

Regret is like a little lump of coal. Black and hard and just sits there.

Realistic reasons:
1. Diseases
2. Unwanted pregnancies (Do you really want to be a mom at 15?)
3. Social stigmata. (Do you really want to be known as a whore? Which is exactly what will happen. High school kids are brutal in that regard.)

Answer 11

Tell them to bug off. Your fourteen and you holding out until marriage is a great goal! Sex at your age will leave you with a broken heart, and dependent on whoever you decided to give it up to. Sex is for LOVE and MARRIAGE!! Also, at your age, you are way too young to be able to support a child if you get pregnant. Also think about STDs.

All of my friends had sex during high school and I dated a guy for over a year who was pressuring me too have sex with him. I'm very proud to say that I dumped him. And now I'm with God and I've waited till marriage with my wonderful husband. I do not have that regret, and I do not have that scar of shame on me for the rest of my life.