Why do people always ask questions similiar to...would you date/marry/be friends with someone who has Bipolar?

Question

I ask this because first of all I have Bipolar 1 Severe and also I need to know why it is asked always for people with a diagnosis of Bipolar.

Why are these typres of questions not asked about someone with any other mental illness?

I am very curious on all your thoughts please.

Thanks so much in advance.

Be safe and be well

I agree with you all, Bipolar is difficult to have and difficult to be involved with someone with this diagnosis, But my question still stands...

Why not someone with a diff diagnosis of other more serious mental health issues or even physical ones such as cancer sever cardiac disease, kidney failure, etc...

Answer 1

I am married to someone diagnosed as having Bipolar and I have answered questions on this topic on this site before. The reason they are asked/answered, I think, is because of the dynamic nature of this disease. The others you speak of(cancer, etc.) follow a relatively similar pattern. Each and everyday is different with someone with Bipolar. Also, it has been my experience that, even with medication, this particular disease is very had to control. Each and every day is taken up with it. You are constantly on a rollar coaster ride.

Answer 2

Bipolar people (and people with ADHD) can be very typical, or even a lot of fun to be around, and thus are more likely to interact with others. There can be years between cycles sometimes, and someone might not be able to tell when dating. Thus partners get caught by surprise, so to speak.

Schizophrenics generally aren't able to have long lasting relationships- mostly they prefer to be left alone. Most folks can tell this from a mile away. I know some adults with Aspbergers and they all divorced after a few years because they couldn't handle a deep, long term relationship. A person with Bipolar can handle these relationships.

As far as health issues are concerned, I think people are concerned about them, but generally these issues may not be present when a person is dating, but much later in the relationship. My husband has high blood pressure and that scares me, but not enough not to date him. But if while we were dating, he came to me and said he had a 60% chance of having a heart attack within months and die, that would make me ask the question. Bipolar is like that, you can walk into the dating door with it, and that has to be considered. The health thing I think is similar is dating with an STI/HIV. I'm sure 20-30 years ago, people were asking each other- would you date/marry a person with...

Which leads me to believe there will be something 'new' to question before too long.

Answer 3

I asked one of those questions because I'm bipolar and wanted to see responses. Mostly, I think there is a lot of misconception and ignorance about the illness which drives the questions and the responses.

I also believe that many people confuse BPD and other disorders with bipolar, pdoc's included. I think that is part of the bipolar 'epidemic'. I also ask questions as a way to include a little education FWIW - most of us are med compliant and reasonably stable with infrequent or mild mood episodes because we are actively managing the illness with our pdocs and therapists. There really is a difference between managing the illness and letting the illness manage you. Unfortunately, those who don't manage it form the collective opinion on what this illness is. (I know there are some serious cases that can't quite hold stability, but that's not the norm once there's a commitment to meds and the right meds are found.)

Why not other dx's? Most would expect a flat out no about involvement with one of the schizos. Depression is so common that it doesn't register on the radar as something to ask about. Same with anxiety. Most don't know what BPD is. Sociopaths don't look for relationships.... BD is on the buble. And... this is a mental health board. Questions about medical conditions like cancer usually don't pop up here.

Answer 4

It's just the stigma from the media, everyone thinks bipolar means "psychotic and crazy" then switches to "suicidal and depressed". Basically a ticking time bomb you could say. It is true that bipolar patients switch, but the media promotes the idea that it happens every few seconds. Which is not impossible, but very few people switch that fast.

I've got a few friends, which have had to deal with me off my meds and I love them for that. It was crazy times, but they still stuck by me. Of course, they're much happier when I take my meds. Anyway, I think people question bipolar because they think the relationship would be difficult to keep. Well, hate to break it, but every relationship has it's ups and downs. In fact, people with bipolar normally are better able to handle our lives, because we know what triggers our episodes and how to keep a balance.

That's just what I think...coming mostly from personally experience.

Answer 5

It could be because BiPolar seems to be on the rise and more common amoung people these days. Depression seems to be hitting a lot of people and some get the diagnosis of BiPolar when they really aren't. I would rather be married to someone with Bipolar- by the way I am than Schizophrenia.

Answer 6

I think, and this is just from my experiences in life. People generalize, especially when they don't know much on a subject. And when they do generalize they usually go with the most dramatic/ extreme example they know of.

In the case of Bipolar disorder, they see it as not just one negative to deal with but two. Not only is the disease causing depression, which most people are familiar with, but also manic episodes, which most people don't understand. They fear what they don't know. They cannot quantify what they don't really understand, since they usually don't know what they are seeing even if they did see someone in their manic state. After all, the examples on TV are dramatic fiction based on fact for the most part and that's the only experience most people have with it.

It's funny really, back in the 80s I don't think many people were that familiar with depression as a common disease, 20 years of education did a lot to help that. The next step is for people to become as familiar with the second half of the bipolar equation.

Answer 7

Good question! I am a bipolar person who is in a very happy and stable relationship with someone who does not want to change me.

However, I am on meds and do a lot of other work with mood charting, diet and other things so that I really manage my condition.

I can understand the question because before I was stable I got manic and did some terrible things and ruined a succesful marriage of 12 years - something I still feel a lot of shame and regret about.

The answer to your question pobably has to do with the behavior of people who are manic and not being treated, such as hypersexuality, infidelity, overspending etc. These are not fair on the other person in the relationship.

So take a mood stabilier and be very proactive about using recovery tools and you can be a wonderful partner - but untreated bipolar people can be relationship hell.

Answer 8

MLA,
bipolar people are difficult you must agree and for those partners lacking in understanding or patience "bipolar" means oscillating between normality and nastiness.
The people who ask these questions are wondering what the nastiness means. Is it a form of hatred?
If it is would you want to be partners with someone who hates you?

Answer 9

ALEX 62 Is the name that I think hit the nail on the head! Education, Proper use of Meds. and Proper Therapy, After 17 years of Marrage I found out I had Bipolar thru P.T.S.D. by the Veterans hospital, Cause? I spent 1965-1968 Spec.Ops. Cambodia,Laos, N.Vietnam. Plus in December We will be celebrating our 29th Anniversary and going stronger! WHY? Because my wife knew Educating herself, making it able to Educate and help lucky me "Husband"!

Answer 10

I think that it is because people who are bipolar, when they are down anyways, it can be very extreme, and totally difficult to deal with. So, if you're with someone who is bipolar, then you're constantly riding with them on the emotional rollercoaster. It can just be very difficult to deal with.