The girl who passed was my Goddaughter and just the sweetest kid in the world.Her mom is my best friend and I so desperately want to do something to help make this easier on them but I just don't know how.It's been 5 days since her death and since I have no kids of my own I just don't know what to do or say to help.Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
2007-08-31 03:34:48 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
The best thing you can be right now is a shoulder to cry on, a best friend to confide in. Sometimes you don't need to talk at all, you need to listen. Losing a child is the hardest thing anyone could ever go through, and I am so sorry for the loss..it breaks my heart.
Best friends have a closeness that needs no words..she knows you loved her child, and you love her..be there for her, however she needs you to be..
Support her, comfort her, she doesn't want to forget her child, so it's ok to talk about memories together, after all people live on in the memories of others.
I can't imagine what you are both going through- and my thoughts are with you.
God knows how to care for what belongs to him.
Teej.
2007-08-31 04:00:45 · answer #1 · answered by Teej 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell then you are sorry for their loss and let them know you are there for them. That is the best thing you can do. Saying things like "it will get better with time, she's not suffering anymore, I understand what you are going through" (unless you have actually lost a daughter) don't help. I know you mean well, but having lost a child myself I know it doesn't really help and sometimes can ever hurt more. Just being there for them, letting them talk to you about her, sharing happy memories, only if they bring them up, is the best thing you can do. I know you feel bad too and you want to do more to help them through this, but you have to let them deal with it in their own way and time. Now if they still have not moved forward at all in say 9 months to a year you might want to gently suggest counseling. Grieving is normal but grieving for too long can be unhealthy. I am sorry for your loss. It has only been a few days. Give it time. Time really can heal everything, it just takes a lot of it.
2007-08-31 03:46:07 · answer #2 · answered by kerijeanbean 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all do not say ! I know how you feel, you will get over this, it was God's will, and the last one...you can have other children.
I lost my husband, so I understand her pain, but I do not know how she feels. Listen ! if she wants to scream, hit, yell or set in silence, let her. If she says leave me along, she does not mean for a long amount of time.
Tell her, the way your Goddaughter made you laugh, the way her eyes lit up when she saw something new to her. The way she got excited when she went on a trip, when you fixed her favorite meal.
Remember the time you went to the beach, or the pool and the park. This child who left this world far to young will always be kept alive in your heart and your prayers, speak her name everyday and know that her mother will hurt and miss her for the rest of her life.
There is no getting over it,. you just get through it one day at a time. Most of all, God is there and he loves her and when she needs him, he is just a whisper away.
God bless you all, and I will hold you in my heart and pray for each of you, and just so you know, my husbands name is John.
2007-08-31 03:53:18 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is a tough one. Anytime a child passes away, they can be extremely difficult. Sometimes, although you want to say the right things, silence and a hug can do the most good. Also, as the other answer-er said, maybe just go over and start helping with house work or pick up some groceries or dinner for them. You are obviously a great friend to them and you just being there for them in their difficult time is doing wonders for them. Knowing they have you can sometimes be enough to help. Good luck.
2007-08-31 03:43:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot EVER make up for the loss of that daughter! Don't even try! If you remember something that brought you joy from that child, share and continue to share that with her. She will like that. The more humorous, the better. And if she crys a little, that's ok. Let her know you care about her and that her little daughter is in heaven now and that you hope she can make contact with that presence.
There is a lot more hope when you feel the presence of deceased love ones helping you here from heaven.
Healing be unto you and yours and me and mine
2007-08-31 04:50:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her a hug and tell her how sorry you are for her loss. Then let her know you are there if she needs anything. I would offer to help with anything she may need help with. She may need help with cleaning, chores, daily stuff. But she may just need someone to listen. Don't pressure. Sometimes just sitting across the table having coffee or tea helps so much. Not even talking, just sitting. She will appreciate any support.
2007-08-31 03:48:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say ' I am so very sorry" Actually they probably arent even listening to what others say. Write a nice card offering to help in any way. Or even go ahead and bring food over. I dont think there is anything you can really do except realize there is nothing you can do.
2007-08-31 12:05:11 · answer #7 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing is be there for your best friend. Cook her a diner so she does not have to worry about food. Let her cry on your shoulder. Be her friend. As to what to say.. tell he you feel her pain, You will miss the child also. There is no cure all but just be the best friend you can be.
2007-08-31 03:42:38 · answer #8 · answered by Fred F 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a sickly child and we are in the hospital all the time and these children are given to us for a reason - to let us have the chance to meet this wonderful being - but only for a short time, then God takes them back where they belong. He lets very special people have the chance to "borrow" these children So sorry
2007-08-31 04:49:37 · answer #9 · answered by malachitemom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing will take away the pain.
Be there for her, and let her know you are ther.
Help her to remember the little angel that has been taken from you.
The worst part of grief is when everyone tries to avoid talking about the one you have lost.
2007-08-31 04:15:35 · answer #10 · answered by Tarkarri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋