I have a friend who has a very annoying habit. Whenever she tries to call me and I either don't answer or I say "I'm busy, I'll call you back later", she calls me back within just a few minutes.
I have a pretty busy schedule, which she constantly "forgets". I have a full time Monday-Friday job, I go to school at night on Mondays and Wednesdays, and I take classes in Tae Kwon Do on Tuesdays and Thursdays. About the only time anyone can get in touch with me is after 8:00pm other than weekends. I could understand if she had to tell me something important, but it's always to simply chat.
For example: Wednesday night while I was at school, my friend called me FOUR times. Obviously I couldn't answer it! And I firmly believe that if it's an emergency, they'll leave a message. Other than that, it's not important. She never left a message, and when she DID get in touch with me, sure enough, she just wanted to chat.
Am I going to have to write down a copy of my schedule for this chick?!?
2007-08-31 03:20:01 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I should clarify a couple of things:
1.) In regards to the first answerer: she has a husband and PLENTY of other people to talk to.
2.) I don't mind talking to her. The problem is that she's constantly calling at the wrong time. I have snapped on her before saying "*I* will call *YOU* back *LATER*", but she still doesn't get it!
3.) My phone is on vibrate for most of the day. Especially while I'm in school and work!
2007-08-31 03:35:32 · update #1
we had a new friend like that in our group. she would call each of us like 18 times a day, but i think she was codependant with some really severe emotional hang-ups.
Ironically the girl is about to get married and a number of the people in her wedding party are threatening to not show because she's been deemed "Bridezilla" from all the infinite demands she makes.
She got the hint when some of us just stopped answering our phones when she called. Thank God for caller ID.
2007-08-31 03:26:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think most of us have know a person like that or have a friend who constantly calls us. I had a friend in high school who did nothing all day and always wanted to talk about her boyfriend. I had a part - time job and I had no time for nonsense. So one time when she called me I clocked out from work and told her that I`m busy and that I will talk to her whenever I have time. I will not push aside my plans just so she can complain and bit*h. And she had this annoying habbit of calling me around 11:00 P.M when I was sleeping!!! Sure she was my friend but I had a life and my own problems. Just talk to her and tell her that you`re busy. If she`s a good friend she will understand.
2007-08-31 10:31:31 · answer #2 · answered by DoLz 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't answer the phone. If it is an emergency, she will leave a message. By putting her on ignore - since she obviously knows your schedule - she should get the message.
If I receive a call and I am at work, etc. I just don't answer it.
If someone leaves a message, I assess the situation and determine if I need to call back immediately or wait until later. You control your life and your phone - not anyone else.
2007-08-31 10:26:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think we have the same friend!! lol mine texts me a million times a day to give me updates on the tv show shes watchin,to ask what she should have for lunch or wear to work and if i count the number of random hey whats up or whatcha doin messages id have a million. i told her that because of her sending messages i went over my texts by 200 last month and she still doesnt stop!! it got to the point where i didnt answer any of her messages and wrote her an email explaining that i love her as a friend but i cant respond to every message she sends and while im at work or in class she should only send one message if its an emergency NOT just to see what im doing. if she sends one or calls and i dont answer then DONT keep calling. u need to sit her down and explain to her that u have alot of things going on and u cant always be at her beckon call and u value her friendship but if ur unable to answer the phone then its for a reason. ur not ignoring her ur busy and u prefer to call when u have time to actually sit and talk to her for more than 3 seconds. just tell her when u get a minute ull give her a call and that should get her off ur case..good luck
2007-08-31 11:23:27 · answer #4 · answered by jennybean7985 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you two have a disconnect on the term "later". For you it is a simple definition. Don't assume she will understand the same definition.
Spell it out. You spelled it out for your question above. Politely let her know your calling preferences. It is easy to assume someone else will have some common sense, but the reality is that we each define common sense differently.
I have had to do the same with family members. I let them know that I am very busy in the day and often travel for work. Don't be offended if it takes me two days to return a call. They are fine with that. Not knowing my travel schedule, they assumed I was free each day and went into panic mode when I did not return a call that day. Their definition of later was some time that day. Mine was when I have a free moment. Once we discussed how I define later, we were perfectly in sync.
Also, consider putting your phone on silence.
2007-08-31 10:28:04 · answer #5 · answered by AlexAtlanta 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her what is going on - "I am at work - I will call you when I get off" - "I am in class, I will call you when I get home". Be more specific.
Failing in that, explain to her that 'later' simply means at some later date - not even necessarily the same day. Tell her that she will hear from you, just at a time when you are able to talk. When she calls you, and it is a bad time, tell her so. Then, get off the phone.
Example -
Friend: Hi - how are you? What's going on?
You: - Hi, friend. I am really sorry, but this is a bad time for me. I am in class, and I will call you when I get home, OK?
Friend: - OK - Talk to you later.
2007-08-31 11:04:05 · answer #6 · answered by HooliganGrrl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have got to simply tell her your schedule does not allow you to be on the phone before a certain time of day. Say "you know you are one of my best friends, but you HAVE GOT to stop calling me all the time. I am available from such and such time on and that's it. If I see you're calling me while I'm in class, I'm just going to ignore your calls so just don't do it. It's really bothering me that you don't listen. We'll get coffee on Saturday and get caught up, okay? Love you girlfriend!"
:-)
2007-08-31 10:49:14 · answer #7 · answered by ga.peach67 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simply saying "I'll call you back later" isn't giving her hint enough that you really can't talk to her at the moment because you have a job, you're at school or at your Tae Kwon Do... she needs to be told you are not in a position to talk to her at the moment and you'll call her when you are, for her NOT to call you, you'll call her as soon as you are able.
2007-08-31 10:25:57 · answer #8 · answered by Monique 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Um, if she's calling your cell phone, don't answer it!
If she's calling the home phone, don't answer it!
If she's calling a work phone number, tell her to stop calling or you'll get fired.
Quite simple really. Don't answer the phone! Turn it off, put it on vibrate, ignore her calls, etc.
2007-08-31 10:30:00 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may not understand just how busy you are. Try saying " I will call you at 9:00 after I get home" or something similar. Maybe that will work. :)
2007-08-31 10:35:49 · answer #10 · answered by undone 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋