my sister is so in your face, nice, open talkative kinda gal with everyone she meets. im not that way at all so she is constantly putting me in situations where she shines and i don't, and i hate it. she picks on me non stop.
i understand that i should just remove myself from the situation, but she's my sister. im forced to see her EVERYDAY
2007-08-31 02:32:53 · 10 answers · asked by pookie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds like sibling rivalry. Is she older than you?
It's OK to admire the qualities you like in her, but don't let them have a negative effect on your personality. We can't all be like your sister. I'm sure you have some admirable qualities as well, just not the same ones as your sister.
My advice is to be yourself and don't try to compete with her for being the center of attention. You are who you are and your qualities will shine through in a different manner.
2007-08-31 02:56:37 · answer #1 · answered by prius2005toy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope that when you are at your most calm place that you can have an honest open conversation with your sister. It is important to express your feelings because if you hold in your anger it will grow to resentment. Ususally, someone who behaves in this manner does so because they don't feel good about themselves or have low self-esteem about soemthing. We all have periods of this. Sometimes, unintentionally parents create rivalry or jealousy between siblings. When this happens it is often later in life that the siblings can see where the manipulation occured. If you can talk to your sister try to use "I messages," which will not sound accusatory or put her on the defensive and maybe you can really get at what you are both feelings. Like saying, "I feel really bad when people see me feeling uncomfortable. Are you aware it is making me feel bad about myself." Rather then charging in with anger that you do this or that which creates defensivness and shuts down the conversation. "Sometime I feel like you want people to see you better than me. How do you feel about it?" I sincerely feel that it is more about her own feelings of inadequacy then something personal she is intending to do to you. People often think they make themselves look better by making others look worse but ususally everyone but them sees through it. To really understand what is going on with her...a night of jammies and nail painting to make things less tense and some real open conversation without attacks may do wonders for the future. If she reacts and gets defensive or anger try not to react or take it personally. Give her time to calm down, then ask what she is feeling.Once you understand it will be easier for you to feel understood. Good Luck.
Kim Ahrenholz
2007-08-31 09:54:20 · answer #2 · answered by coach_kim2c 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
some people are bubbly and personable. others are more introverted and keep to themselves.
there is nothing wrong with either personality type. we are all individuals, and quite different, even sisters.
i dont' see how your sister can "put you in a situation"... your life your choice.
if there are things you don't like protect yourself by avoiding these situations -- it's called setting boundaries, hon.
2007-08-31 09:38:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its usally a very insecure person but it sounds like she maybe very out going and maybeeee your a little insecure. Just be yourself and don't judge her for who she is unless you think that she is getting in with the wrong people, it may just be who she is and if so just be happy with her and it can't bother you unless you let it.
Good Luck
2007-08-31 09:42:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That usually is due to the other person having a low since of self. Sounds like she feels like she's less than you. Let her problem be hers and just try to understand that she's doing it likely because she feels less than you in some way.
2007-08-31 09:39:24 · answer #5 · answered by Dwayne B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that shows a lot of insecurity in your sister. she would look much better to people if she built you up instead. she sounds a little jealous of you. maybe if you become a little more talkative and show a little more confidence you can return the banter. put her in her place. don't let her use you as her scapegoat.
2007-08-31 09:41:30 · answer #6 · answered by plastik punk -Bottom Contributor 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people love to be the center of attention.
2007-08-31 09:38:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
*I think that people who have to go out of their way to try and please others and get their attention etc. have some serious issues in their head. Some of which, I've listed below.*
Insecurities
Low self-esteem
Needs attention
Needs constant reassurance
Jealousy
Envy
2007-08-31 09:38:44 · answer #8 · answered by Murphy's Law 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are insecure.
2007-08-31 09:39:35 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
b*tch slap her.
2007-08-31 09:38:38 · answer #10 · answered by soulreaver 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋