i have no clue where to start...first she is blind and she lives with my mtoher and i. we giver our 150% to this woman, we make our schedule [i'm in my last year of university and my mtoher works] based on my grandmother...here's what broke the camel's back! the bathroom is not far from my mother's room but it's too far for her so we bought a bedside comode[i dont know how to spell it] for disable and elderly people. she REFUSES to use it! she uses it like 10 % of the time at night. yesterday ever since i woke up i have been studying for a quiz for today even my grandmother has been telling me to take a break because i've been studying too much. this morning at 4:30 i woke up suddenly because i thought i heard her fall on the floor but she didnt she kept on bumping into the wall to go to the bathroom because she didnt want to use the "comode" nect to her! she did that twice and the fact that i woke up so sudenly my head started spinning so fast that i was scared i was going to faint...
2007-08-31 02:32:07 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
the thing is this monday because i ahvent slept for so long i almsot fainted while driving...so this morning i was scared to go to school so the same thing wont happen...in other words because this woman decided not to use the bedside "comode" i missed my quiz!!
2007-08-31 02:34:41 · update #1
it's hard for us to seek help because we're financially tight...and for those of you saying i choose to miss a quizz,a)i cant take a bus or a taxi because my school is an hour away,b)you can understand i ddint want to faint but that's not her problem? she's the one who keeps us up and also how would u like it if there was an accident due to me fainting but a member of your family was the victim? you would be siging another tune would u?c) i do understand waht she's going through, but my mtoher and i are trying our best to accomadate her, SHE also needs to help us!
2007-08-31 03:03:21 · update #2
to teel2439...no you're right driving isnt the only way, there's also flying, are you going to charter a plane for me?
2007-08-31 03:04:27 · update #3
about using the portable toilet myself, i have! sometimes when i wake uo and id ont want to talk to the bathroom, i sue hers! she even amde a joke about giving it to me!
2007-08-31 03:05:33 · update #4
Does she know about the lack of sleep and fainting. Please just be patient as she was independent so long it is hard to adjust to not being her self.
The 3 of you need to continue to talk more and more about details and working on all the details, as this is where the problems aways exist - in the details.
The word 'hate' caught my eye, and I hope as you 3 continue to talk this will disappear, to be replaced by understanding about age, and the importance of self, and how hard change really is.
Peace to you all.
Glad you did not drive after the last time.
What did instructor say about make up quiz? Does school know about your caring for grandmother and impact on classes? Maybe?? this could help your work load, somehow??
Wish I had words and ideas that helped.
2007-08-31 15:11:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I agree that your grandmother can use the toilet next to her instead of walking all the way to the bathroom. But I don't agree your grandmother made you miss your quiz. That was your fault. I understand you didn't want to faint but that is not her problem. ...... Have you ever thought how your grandmother may be feeling. First off, she's blind, second. she has to depend on two people who act like it's a inconvenience to take care of her. I mean come on, she's your grandmother for goodness sake, and for you to say that you hate her, is just plain wrong. Grow up and take responsibility of your own actions.
Why don't you move the portable toilet in your room for you to use it and see how ashamed you feel.
2007-08-31 09:47:40 · answer #2 · answered by aniyahsmome 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know how you feel! My grandmother makes our whole family I N S A N E and that is with her living on her own. I think ya'll need to get some outside help for all of your sakes. Elderly abuse can occur not due to lack of love, but due to lack of sleep, frustration and anger. There are many services available for low or no cost but most of them have a waiting list, so sign up Now...you will still have time to make other plans while you wait.
2007-08-31 09:56:34 · answer #3 · answered by a former YA user 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you a question. After using indoor plumbing and being self-sufficient all your life, how would you like to basically be asked to revert back to the days when people used slop jars? How would you like to know that when you go to the bathroom, it gets to sit beside your bed all night?
It sounds like your grandmother still wants to hold on to her independence and self-reliance. Why don't you all sit down together (you, your mom, your grandmother) and discuss the best option? Does she need more lighting to be able to make it more easily to the bathroom? Would it be possible for her to trade rooms with whoever is closer to the bathroom?
Also, don't blame your grandmother for you missing your quiz. You can't tell me that you driving to school was your absolute only way to get there. You can't take a bus, taxi, get someone else to drive you? If it was that important, you should have found a way to get there.
2007-08-31 09:43:33 · answer #4 · answered by teel2624 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think it is wonderful that you and your Mother are taking care of your blind Grandmother. The only reason you are having these hateful feelings towards her is that you are exhausted. Try to understand this and know that when you get some rest, this feeling will pass.
2007-08-31 09:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seek the Lord in that, He will provide you with answers, nobody else can do that. And pray about God to show you how to balance your own life, you are stressed out. You are no good to others or to yourself and not usefull in the Kingdom like that. God is a God of order and balance, He is not the God of confusion. Just pray and listen , He will give you a way out, He says so in His Word...God bless you
2007-08-31 10:05:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your mother need to talk to your grandmothers doctor and see if its time for her to move to a nursing home. And you need to stop for a moment and have some consideration for a blind elderly woman who needs to use the bathroom.
2007-08-31 09:43:31 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe your family could consider getting someone to come in overnight to help with the grandmother. i can't think of much beyond that.
2007-08-31 09:36:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋