My sister makes me sooo angry that i lose it!?

Question

Im 19 and my sis is 22, we get on really well most of the time, and she is one of my best friends. But ever since i was young she has always know what buttons to press to wind me u till boiling point! When i get angry i really lose it and lash out. Today we're having a discussion at which i make a point how i disagree with her opinion on something, at which she had no respect for what i'm sayin and replies with 'yeh i know what yor sayin, but no, your wrong'!!! and this just winds me up 100%!!growing up if i had a problem and sometimes i knew i was in the wrong but i just wanted some moral support she would never give any, always insiting i was doing wrong or what i thought wasnt correct. So today i lashed out at her, punching a book that was in her hand. I know it was a stupid way to take out my anger, but u cant speak to her coz she'd keep just saying 'no' and not repecting a word i said. Im ashamed if i hurt her coz i love her, but even know shes taking the moral high ground...

and making me feel like such a *****. But she cant see how she makes me feel?!?

Answer 1

Here's the thing...she can't make you feel.

You are in control of your emotions. You are allowing your sister's comments to set you off. Stop that. Control yourself when she reaches out to push that button.

When she disagrees with you, accept it and move on. Stop trying to change her mind.

When you have a chance, think about what you were discussing and analyze why you need validation. Was the conversation that important? Was it just a matter of opinion? Will it matter six months from now?

Life will be more calm once you control your reactions.

Answer 2

One of the best hings ever said to me was "you can't reason with unreasonable people".

You cannot change her mind but you can make your point and walk away.
Once the excitment of winding you up has been removed so will the winding up.
Perhaps if you both go to a neutral area, somewhere that isn't home or the local pub, without friends there to boost her, talk to her and tell her that you are not going to play games anymore and tell her that you will walk away. Tell her that your opinions do matter and that you do have a valid point to make.
She may not want to listen and possibly will act exactly the same but if you stick to what you've said and walk away she wonn't have anyone there to argue with. Only you can stop this, be strong and respect yourself then she might begin to too.

Answer 3

Hi Hon....

Your sister does know which buttons to push, so she torments you because she knows you will react... that is what she's looking for --> a REACTION from you.

I think the best thing to do in this sort of situation is to stop, count to ten in your mind, and then just shrug your shoulders and tell her "Ok whatever you think" (or something similar). --or even ignore her, and go do something else.

Your sister is amused with the fact she can get a rise out of you and annoy you.

If you stop acting annoyed, she will eventually stop the teasing.

Answer 4

me and my sister ahvent spoken in almost 2 yrs now. ever since ive been w/ my bf. 1st, she got mad at me because i moved out of the house to be w/ my bf. it was a decision that i made on a whim. but a good choice. i know the reason why she was mad because i've always been the free baby-sitter for her and her husband. they have 4 kids!!! and since i wasnt there anymore, she would have to pay someone to watch her kids. then she kinda got over it i guess. i ran into some hard times w. money, and she offered me money. i toke it of course, but then she used it against me. she still doesnt realize that the amount of money that gave me, doesnt compare to how much ive given her for her bills, fun, kids. i payed one of her bills, it was $2000.00. and i never asked for any of it back. shes money hungry and will do almost anything to get money. nothing sexually, but illegal, scams her friends, relatives that live far away, bosses, sister!!! she even scammed my bf. he sold his car 92 honda accord to her when she said that shell give him $1000.00. she gave him $800.00 at first and then shell get the rest the next day. well, shes my sis and all, so my bf trusted her and didnt make her sign a contract about when she was giving him the rest of the money. he also signed over the title. the next day, i went to p/u the money from her, she said that the car wasnt worth $800.00. and she want going to pay the rest of the money. because shes already spent over $400.00 on the car fixing it. but she knew what kind of condition it was because my bf wasnt driving it.

in the end i didnt do anything wrong, and she lost her only sister.

Answer 5

She can, that's why she didn't punch you back. Maybe when you grow up and stop acting like a baby you can have a real relationship with her. She IS supporting you, you just don't like how she's doing it. If I was advising her, I'd tell her to distance herself from you until you can get a clue.