Empty Wedding Guest List?

Question

Hi, I'm in my mid 20s and getting married in a year or so. The 'problem' is that I have an empty guest list aside from family members which makes up about 5 as I don't intend on inviting my extended family members.
The thing is ever since leaving high school, I have lost contact with all my friends and have not managed to make new friends whom I consider 'close' or even friends at all. I have dealt with 'self esteem' issues (and still kinda do) and have isolated myself and haven't attempted to make friends since high school. The past 6 years have been spent mostly with my soon-to-be-husband. And tryin' to get in contact with ex-highschool friends will be way too awkward and I think everyone's all moved on.

What are your thoughts/advice?

I'm not overly shy or overly outgoing. Sometimes I just wish I could 'rent' some 'friends' just for the wedding event (as pathetic and sad as that sounds LOL). I mean not just the wedding, how about the engagement party, hen's night, bridesmaids

Answer 1

Wow... that's sad. Sounds like you spend way too much time with your boyfriend, and that's not healthy. Don't you have friends from work, church, school? What have you been doing with yourself the past few years? My advice? Don't get married until you have branched out a bit.

Answer 2

Hi Cate:
You have a whole year. Possibly within that year you will meet more people and add to your friends list. Are you in school? Do you belong to any clubs/organizations? Do you have a job? Whether you do, or do not, add to your "friends list" within that year, I would invite your extended family. Start now, by getting in contact with extended family....one things leads to another....do you have a cousin you haven't seen in a while? Invite her over, out to eat, to the movies, etc. That is how friendships grow. You can't seclude yourself and only be with your fiance....that is not good.

You say that your high school friends have moved on...how do you know? Why not call your old friends, maybe they are wanting to hear from you. If you don't get a good response, or you get the cold shoulder, then so be it. At least you tried.

If, again, when the wedding roles around and you only have 5 on your side.....no big deal. Your wedding will still be beautiful no matter how many people are there! Good luck!

Answer 3

Invite the five and just seat all of the guests from both sides together. You don't need to have a huge guest list and you have chosen not to invite your extended family. You want to invite guests to share the joy of your special day, not because you want to fill the room. It has no bearing on you that you have fewer people to invite. You also don't need to have an engagement party; have an intimate dinner with those who are sharing in your happiness. Hen's night with your attendants, if you are having any, could be a simple night out for dinner, the movies or whatever it is that you would choose. Don't feel so discouraged; it will be fine. Not everyone has friends they are close to in the area where they live; people do lose touch with friends as they go their separate ways after they graduate from high school. Sometimes you don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of people at work, depending on where you work and how many employees are there. There are many reasons for having fewer people there and they are nothing to be ashamed about. You will form friendships over time with people you meet through your fiancee. Maybe you need to work on your self esteem issues. You are engaged to someone who loves you. You just have to learn to love yourself. Everyone has good qualities so work on them and work on the things that need improvement. Much happiness to you! Congratulations on your engagement!

Answer 4

Don't feel pressured to make friends to fill a reception hall. If you have a small family and a husband that loves and cares for you that is all that matters!
I got married in my 30's and did not care to have 'hen night'. It was not important for me.
As for bridesmaids you could ask a family member to be in the wedding. You don't need a huge bridal party. Less people to worry about is better anyway.
A wedding is to celebrate your marriage! Don't let the lack of gal friends ruin a very special day for you..

I had 110 people at my wedding and I was so worried that people would not dance or leave early. I have been to weddings that had 250-400 guests where people left early or did not dance. The dance floor was completely empty.

A friend of mine had 75 guests at her wedding and from the photos it looked like everyone was having a great time. She has a very small family while his family is much bigger. His family made up majority of the wedding invites and bridal party.

The thing I realize is that smaller weddings can be quite lively since you have a smaller dance floor and people who really care to be there. I heard many comments that my wedding was the 'most fun' they had in a long time. Quantity does not make better weddings! It does help if your family loves dancing though or knows how to have a bit of fun! :0)

My husband has a very small family and most of them are elderly while the other's have medical problems. He has spent many years travelling to different countries for work and lost everyday contact with friends. So, we were not surprised that they were not willing to fly to America for our wedding. At first he was a little disappointed, but as we got more and more into the wedding he become more euthusiastic about it. He focused more on it being OUR SPECIAL DAY and A ONCE IN A LIFETIME to organize a special event for us.

Answer 5

This is one night of your life that you will always remember. I know the thought of you wanting to have a lot of people around so you look like there are many people in your life. But, after high school people move on and there is nothing that you have in common with them anymore. Why just add to the expense of your wedding for people that you are not even interested in staying in contact with after the wedding is over.

My advice is that you have a year.. You will meet people as the time goes by: at work, school (if you attend), and other events and things that go on in your life.

If that doesn't work out- just have a small wedding or invite your extended family to up the guest list and have people around that might actually care about you.

Answer 6

Well, you are getting married in a year or so- so get out there, at work or school- wherever you are and start talking to people!!!!!!

But aside from that, it isn't written anywhere that you HAVE to have tons of people at a wedding! There are no cousins or anyone like that you could invite? Maybe talk to your parents. They might have some close family friends they would like to have there.

Don't fret about it so much. You have plenty of time to plan the wedding of you and your fiance's dreams (and come up with a solid guest list).

Good luck.

Answer 7

I'll let you borrow some of my family but be sure to have lots of beer!
A big wedding with lots of people doesn't mean that the marriage is going to be any better. I know most people have this idea of a big wedding with heaps of people but in reality its not financial viable and can get out of hand really quickly. You want to be able to share your day with the people who mean the most to you and not a mob of strangers who eat your expensive food and drink up the bar tab in an hour.
If you do want a lot of people watching you get married, then pick a public place to do it. Weddings always attract crowds! then when you go to the reception, you have the joy of spending the time talking to everyone not just 10 people and then other 50 go unnoticed. You'll have an intimate dinner than an room full of strangers.

Good luck and start going to some new places like hobby groups, church, and even seek out friendship clubs. yes there is such a thing!

Answer 8

None of these items are required (engagement party, hen's night). You don't sound like the type of individual that would even want these things but it seems more so that you feel that you need to have these things. If I were you, I'd do something simple, maybe get married in a tropical location with your closest family members there. There is nothing wrong with having a few people you love at your wedding.

Answer 9

I had the same issue because I literally moved half the country away from high school and college friends and I am too much of a workaholic to have close friends at work. I decided to invite some acquaintances from work on a lark. They were so pleased to be invited that they talk to me all the time and we are much closer now. I am even learning to relax more at work and talk more. I am so glad I invited them.

Answer 10

Girl, I WISH I were in your situation.
My side of the guest list alone has like 150 people. I cannot figure out how to cut corners!
Why don't you just have a small, intimate wedding with just immediate family and close friends of both sides (you and him).
That way you save a LOT of money!

Answer 11

Do what we're doing... do a destination wedding and have a beautiful backdrop with a few close friends or family and make it a great time for all.

We are both an only child with no family whatsoever left, I can't scratch together 10 people to invite between us! You're not the only one in this situation, quit beating yourself up over it and go to the Caribbean and have a BLAST! :) Best of luck, Suz