One of my friends today told me that she stashes money away incase things don't work out with her boyfriend and she leaves him.
My fiance is older than me and she said I am going to end up hating him for it and leave him, so I should start putting money away for when it happens.
She says all men 'stray' and to trust a man is living with your head in the clouds.
Isn't that the wrong attitude to have in a relationship?
2007-08-30 23:02:15 · 16 answers · asked by . 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I know my fiance isn't perfect, but build up a secret bank account for the day he cheats on me and I leaves seems...bizzare.
I'm all for being realist, but I think what she's advising is a tad overboard. I don't see that as being a happy way to live life.
2007-08-30 23:09:15 · update #1
mountainman - tell your wife I said she is a lucky, lucky woman. I applaud you!!
2007-08-30 23:35:10 · update #2
her relationship most likely wont work
not because of the man , or infidelity on his part
but for her lack of trust
and she will say when it happens ... I told you so
but she will only be making it happen
yes of course it is pessimistic
2007-08-30 23:06:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
That relationship isn't going to work. Since relationships are based on love and trust. She already has one red flag in that she hides money, if any of that money is his contribution especially, that's theft. So that shot the trust part right out of the water. I'm not to sure about the love part either because shes already counting on him "straying". I think she's the one with the issues here.As for the answer to your question,YES! that's a very poor and unhealthy way to look at a relationship.
2007-08-31 06:28:27 · answer #2 · answered by Allan C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who also says that all men are alike and all of them will cheat. I do think that a lot of them cheat. I guess that a lot of women cheat too. I don't worry about my husband cheating. He is not the type. He would not respect himself if he did. I understand this because I will not cheat either. I did "cheat'' when I was married before this time. But it was after I told my ex that I wanted a divorce, I did not love him, he was hateful and mean and he could do what he wanted and I would do the same. I could never be the kind that says "I love you" in the morning and cheat in the afternoon.
2007-08-31 06:09:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are made up of three main elements: commitment; passion; and intimacy. I would say the third is missing or incomplete for your friend. Oh there is one more factor delight which is the icing on the cake so to speak. Your friend is a pessimist or a realist but it's not a recipe for a satisfying existence.
2007-09-01 19:19:14 · answer #4 · answered by Colin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
On one level it is, since she basically is saying the relationship is doomed to fail at some point, but she also is looking at a worse-case scenario and how to survive.
Our actions are based on past experiences and it sounds as if she has had some relationships that imploded on a lack of trust. You cannot change a person's feelings, but - equally - that individual shouldn't try and poison a good relationship you have.
2007-08-31 06:11:25 · answer #5 · answered by Zombie Birdhouse 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is anonymous Internet,I have no reason to lie.I have been with my wife 22 years,I have been completely faithful,even in my mind,the entire time.The thought of cheating has never crossed my mind,even though,not being egotistical,just no false humbleness,I could "have my pick" if I wanted to live that way.Not all men are cheaters,It isn't necessarily "in their nature".I am 100% red blooded male,I am also 100% faithful to my wife and have no plans to change that for the rest of my life
2007-08-31 06:27:50 · answer #6 · answered by nobodinoze 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is nice to be in a position to take care of yourself should something happen.....
If you do not completely trust your fiance, then do not get married.
sometimes things happen, but it is not hard to keep your man happy...Feed him and love on him..Make him feel importand every day, and he will look forward to seeing you at the end of the day.
Be prapared for lifes hardships...Accidents and illnesses happen...K
2007-08-31 10:01:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Expect the best but prepare for the worst.
You absolutely HAVE to have a way to get out if you need to, when your in love it's hard to see what problems may arise in the future.
It's not pessimistic, it's smart.
2007-08-31 06:05:17 · answer #8 · answered by Daisy Indigo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think so,but tell ur friend that if she does that with all the men she knows,then she'll never have trust in any 1 of them so never be with any 1 of them 4ever.
by the way, no1 is perfect (eben me and u),so keep up the good work with ur fiance and i wish u the best,
from all my heart.
2007-08-31 11:07:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not too overboard in a world where girs mothers raise them with bits of wisdom like "it's just as easy to marry a rich man as a poor one".
2007-08-31 06:14:01 · answer #10 · answered by ancientcityentertainment 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋