I just want to find an explanation. Yes, personality matters, but wouldn't a guy think at least once how he ended up with less than average looking girl?
2007-08-30 21:01:42 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
For example: I am right now pseudo-dating a guy who broke up with this really pretty girlfriend (they went out for two years and a half). He is in that rebound stage, and I (I am pretty chubby, 135 pounds, 5 feet 4 inch, not particularly a good-looking face, small eyes and round face) think he just wants something to keep him going after the breakup...I just want to know if he feels happy with me. If not, I perfectly understand.
2007-08-30 21:05:43 · update #1
If you check out a BMI calculator, you'll find that you are solidly in the normal range. When I think back on the women that I dated, only two were "slender". They really didn't stand a chance. The ones I had the best time with and were closest to had a bit of padding. Not obese though, which is a definite turn off. I went out with one because she had been a good friend for 2 or 3 years. She was average and we had a great time, although we ended up with others. Still friends. Men see things you don't. Sure we have ideals. But then we see someone with the right color eyes, the right voice, the right walk, the right sense of humor or just feel comfortable with. She might not be the right height, she might not have the right hair color...I'm tempted to say that men aren't as picky as you think they are, but you'd take that wrong too, wouldn't you? That's the problem underlying your question.
I've seen a poster, "Waiting for the perfect man". Skeletons in wheelchairs. It isn't THAT important for most of us to find the perfect person. All we want is someone to love and who will love us back. If you're that to some guy, you don't have to be his physical ideal. You just have to pass a minimum standard. Oh, you took that wrong, too, didn't you? I'm serious, though. I've been attracted by some of the most unlikely looking women. She had something that set the hook, then you get to care about her as a person. It could take years to find out what it was that snatched you out of the pond. By then, it doesn't matter.
2007-08-30 22:13:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What? Do you know how bad that sounds? You're a girl yeah, so you're making it sound like you're jealous of a relationship that a guy has with someone else maybe.. If you're wondering what he sees in her then he obviously knows her well. A decent and genuine guy wouldn't care if thegirl was a little chubby or what you say 'less than average looking'. They can decide for themselves. It's the guys that go for the slightly chubby girl with an awesome personality over a made up barbie with zero personality that are the ones who are decent... It would have been his decision completely to as you say 'end up with her'... : /
2007-08-31 04:09:14 · answer #2 · answered by Curious Me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps this guy sees you as a person who is self-confident, has a nice personality, treats him with kindness and respect, is not shallow like some of the Barbie doll types out there, and as a person of depth. Contrary to popular belief, while a man may be initially attracted to a gorgeous woman with a great body, if when she opens her mouth, she reveals how shallow and self-centered she is, he is going to lose interest in her fast. While you could be a rebound relationship, as could ANY woman your boyfriend is dating after his breakup, you should stop thinking of yourself as a pity case and give the guy credit for wanting to be with you for WHO you are and not WHAT you look like. He obviously sees that you have much to offer him more than you see that in yourself.
2007-08-31 04:09:38 · answer #3 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I first saw this question, I thought you were a very conceited person. I still think that. But, I also remember a lover I had when I was in the Navy. We were together for nearly 4 months. He dumped me one night. It wasn't on a Post it note, but it was just as cold. The next night he was out with the woman he dumped me for. I'm an average looking woman. The woman he dumped me for was short, fat, jeans so tight her fat was in rolls, no makeup, greasy hair, boots, wallet on a chain in her back pocket, kind of like an old, tired biker chick. It broke my heart. When a man dumps you for a woman who is better looking than you, you can understand it. You won't like it, but you understand it. I didn't understand it until his friend told me that her nickname was Peanut Butter. Because she spread easy? Then I understood it. This was the first time I had a sexual relationship with a man who had a problem we now call Premature Ejaculation. His friend said that my lover truly believed that older, more experienced woman with a younger man thing. He felt pressured to perform, not by me, but by himself. I had told my lover that men had this problem once in awhile, it was no big deal. But, he thought it was a bigger problem than it was, & since it was his penis...... Anyway, my point is men can have MANY MANY reasons for going out with a normal looking girl. Some of them may not be the reasons that you think. Good Luck & Blessings
2007-08-31 04:28:23 · answer #4 · answered by Tail Stinger 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
......
Okay, I just read your edit. Not every man on the face of the earth wants a hot girl. The ones who do are shallow and not worth anyones time. The men who go only for hot women find themselves regretting it later, because looks fade, but personality usually doesnt. And it is possible that he finds you attractive. You dont have to be 13 pounds to be attractive to a man.
2007-08-31 04:04:41 · answer #5 · answered by Dani 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y would u even consider urself like that. i thought the same. i realized that not all pretty girls have a good personality or a mind 4 that matter. u need 2 learn 2 c urself in a way that no1 else cs u. learn 2 luv u. if he wants 2 b w/ u let that b. @ the end if he leaves u just learn from the relationship and grow as a person.
2007-08-31 04:11:08 · answer #6 · answered by cherryblossom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Eh... for your information, chubby/normal looking people actually mate ANYWAY.
To be realist, lets say that people mate in the same "range" as them.
Good looking mate with good looking
Average with average
Its not ALWAYS true but admit it does make sense.
Now, there is some people with different tastes.
My cousin which is actually a hunk I'd like to look like to is into "chubby" girls. He like them "chubby" even if he could date the hottest "standard" beauty.
To each their tastes babe.
2007-08-31 04:09:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
at times guys think things along those lines, they look at carmen electra or someone like that and wonder how come i'm not with a girl like that? but then they look at their gf, and realize that they love her no matter what. love is blind as they say, if the two people are happy who cares about looks? is a beautiful woman necessarily a better person? or even better in bed? no.
2007-08-31 04:10:33 · answer #8 · answered by Tim C 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
once you're in love with the person, you think they they are the most beautiful thing ever. cause you realize that it'd the best thing that ever happened to you which is--happiness. and happiness is beautiful. and some chubby girls are actually pretty cute although they need to lose some weight,
2007-08-31 04:06:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THese answers, perfect example of the brainwashed sheep effect. THey're trying to paint a false reality, which is so wonderful and perfect for you. Exactly what you want to hear.
Pretty women have horrible personalities.
Fat women have wonderful personalities.
Sure.
2007-08-31 04:24:00 · answer #10 · answered by gentlest_theirsintheworld 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋