I thought I had the best boyfriend in the world until he lied. We have been togethet 3 years. Buys me everyt?

Question

Whipes my face off at the dinner table. Ties my shoes without me telling him to. Treats me the best. When we got together I asked him a few questions. Well see I am a virgin. I asked him if he was a virgin. Said yes. Asked him if he has ever been to any strip places said no. He said I am the first girl he has ever kissed. He said he has never had a friend girl. I asked him if he has ever been to a bar he said no. About a month ago we had a little talk. He finally sat down and told me the whole truth. He is not a virgin. He has had sex one time. He has kissed a girl. He said that he has had a girl that is a friend Christina. . He promised he would not lie to me anymore. Yesterday I was checking the cell history on my computer and I found some repeated numbers. I called one of them and it was Christina. He said those are not his numbers. He swore to god. He said he promised to his parents and the girl he loves. He got down on his knees. What do you think is really going on. HELP

Answer 1

I think the guy needs to find himself first. Whether the number is his or not on his handy or not is not the question. The question is that he even denied the very things which are his so that means he has no courage to speak up the truth & get into any trouble - be it being a virgin or calling anyone up on his handy.

This is a guy who will say anything to avoid trouble & get what he wants. He doesn't tell you upfront what is the truth but mix it with some half-truths.

So your decision should be if you want to be with someone who doesn't have his own life after all. You have to decide if you want to live with someone who says something in front of you & is doing something else behind your back.

Think about it.

Answer 2

He ties your shoes?! Without you TELLING him to?! Why on Earth would anyone tell their boyfriend to tie their shoes? This whole relationship sounds creepy to me.

How old ARE you? No bars, no strip joints, no sex? How about NO FUN! You can't control the people around you that way, ESPECIALLY your boyfriend. I don't love strip joints either but I understand that guys like to go there, and if it was in his past then that's really none of your business. As for the bars, well that's plain stupid. Why can't a guy go enjoy a beer or two with friends? Why don't YOU go let loose once in a while? You don't have to get rip-roaring wasted every night but you shouldn't decide bars are off limits to your boyfriend if he wants to go.

I think you need to get over your control issues. Don't deny that you have control issues because you admitted checking his cell records online, and THAT, my friend, is stalking. Do this guy a favor and break up with him until you grow up a bit.

Answer 3

Your relationship is not the same since you found out he lied. He's feeling ultra guilty about being with this other girl otherwise, if Christina was truly in the past, he would not have tried to cover things up. Why are you checking his phone? Because you have lost trust in him.

You will have to ask yourself if him being a non-virgin is that big a deal to you but you will also most importantly need to ask yourself if you are willing to forgive his lying to you.

You may not be able to. And that's normal.

And you are not a child are you? You can tie your own shoes and wipe your own mouth.

Answer 4

You found the proof...cell history does not lie..and even if the cell company made a mistake what are the chances that Christina's number would be their screw up...thats a one in a million coincidence.....and I am willing to bet you havent been calling Christina. So who does that leave?? He has already been caught wether he wants to say so or not. Don't let him lie to you tell him you have the proof and he needs to come clean. What you do after that is all up to you.

Answer 5

Dust him.
I think he is playing you, especially, (& at the risk of my being indelicate here), since you are a virgin.
The numbers on his phone told me he has a relationship on the side w/ Christina. They would not be there when he knows this would upset you.
I know this hurts, he has treated you so well, in certain ways; but all the signs are all there in my opinion.
Words are cheap, actions tell the true tale.

Answer 6

I think that you are expecting a bit much from him. If you expect to find a virgin that has never been kissed or never been to a strip bar or any of the other things that guys do your living in a fantasy world. Hey guys are dogs you have to expect him to lie a little bit. You should be happy that he was willing to come clean that means that he has a conscience. You can't expect that he will be perfect, if you do you are bound to be dissappointed.

Answer 7

Welcome to the cruel, sad reality of the real world. There are so many lying, cheating bastards that when you finally meet one that is honest, it is damned hard to tell if he too isn't just another one.

He was telling you what he thought you wanted to hear at the time. People, men and women, do that. This experience probably has and probably will hurt you a bit more and make you a little more cynical. Hope you can control the cynicism virgin, it's easy to let it consume you.

You're likely to end up just fine though, just like the most of us will.

Answer 8

The beginning parts of lying is not so bad, he just wanted to not scare you away, when my bf ask me out he told me he has skeletons inhis closet and if I still want him and I said yes. After 2 years its still hard finding new things out about him.

But calling other girls, BIG NO NO!!!!!!!!!

Treating you perfectly doesn't mean he has the right to lie to you.. I go through the same thing, my boyfriend will only give me minimum details when he tells me something, I always only find out the real thing when he tells it to someone in else in my presence.

Don't give up your virginity you'll be sorry specially with a guy like this. Believe me know!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

Better put the law down right now. He has been playing a game with you and it is time for the game to stop. Tell him that he had better confess to everything right now, because if you find out one more time that he is lying to you, it will be over for good! Use you instincts to judge the situation in the future. Sometimes our heart will not let us see what we need to know. Best wishes. I hope it works out for you.

Answer 10

Jesus said, "A man is known by the fruit he produces. A good tree produces good fruit. .A bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, neither can a bad tree bear good fruit".

Love doesn't tell lies and hurt others to protect itself.

He's telling you what he thinks you want to hear so he can keep Christina who has sex, on the side, and still have a relationship with you at the same time. He wants to have his cake and eat it to, so to speak. A liar can still lie down on his knees my dear.