He & I have both has heartbreaking divorces. We have both had other long term relationships that failed. We are into each other but that fear is between us. We go months without seeing each other. I am more apt than him to give it a try.
Any ideas? Encouragments? Love stories that have been successful?
2007-08-30 19:20:36 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
to keep a good relationship u need to see each other at least twice a month. going months after months without seeing each other wouldn't make ur relationship strong. life doesn't stop at a point, it floats, u can't stop at a point and think " i don't want to get hurt, because i already had enough". give a shot, see if he is the one for u, ppl says everyone finds their soulmate earlier or later. maybe its late for u, but so what, give a try. why do u fear about breaking up, think about getting more close, because ur in love. when ur in love, think u have to be more careful, if u want a happy relationship, u have to compromise, be honest, more caring, ***responsible***. responsiblity counts, because both of u know about ur past relationships, so u have to show that ur worthy enough to take care of him. try to avoid argument, fights, admit ur faults but don't lose ur self respect. YOU HAVE THE POWER INSIDE YOU, TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP STRONGER, SWEET. TRY TO BELIEVE THAT "YES I CAN".
2007-08-30 19:39:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem my self. He is retired and early 60's to me he is young because I am 57. Over the past four years we have come together and then one of us gets scared.
I have told him that I am getting SSI so that no man has to take care of me. He has money and the last wife took him for all he was worth. I could never do it.- take money that is, I want him to know that I a not a gold digger. I am sweet and honest and I deserve a good man like him. I feel like we are taking things slow and that will prove to him that I am not a flash in the pan. I am quality and trustworthy. As of now we are good friends. I want him to see me as someone who won't flake out on him. I will stand strong by him. He is everything I have ever wanted . Both he and I deserve the best in life. I think our later years could be very good together.
Don't give up on your guy. Be the true you. Let him know that you woudln't push him in to anything that he doesn't want to be in. Try to find some quailty time together to see what daily life would be with him. Go on a trip or something. Be you and be honest and true. Mention to him that you are crazy about him- but you won't push him and that if you guys become a couple he will never regret it.
I wish you well.
2007-08-31 03:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here is the real deal to avoiding that problem, like it or not. People today get to attached to each other too quickly, and before any time at all elapse, they are engaged or married. Don't Rush into a Relationship. Try being friends first for a long time.
Trust is a very serious issue on its own... Trust must be earned.
Times have changed, and will continue to change. If one is satisfied and doesn't really want to change, and the other does, that in its self will cause problems in a relationship... Are you willing to change?
People these days should keep their social life and intimate relationships with others OPEN... Too many fish in the sea. I myself make it understood that this is the way I prefer it to be. Therefore, no-one gets hurt, and if they don't like it or don't want to accept it, we know it won't work out at all between us and its over before it starts. I also like the way it brings my friends even closer... nothing to hide... no jealousy or violation of fidelity issues... just good times with each other.
I have solid MARITAL ADVICE for those who tell me they will be truly receptive to it, but many fail in honoring their words. So in this forum, I have offered you the least advice which I have to offer on this subject... work on it first.
2007-08-31 02:54:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was single for two years after a heartbreaking separation. My partner was single for a year after a messy divorce. I was terrified of getting involved with anyone, as was he. We've only been together a couple of months but with each day I get more confident that "we" are going to work out just fine.
What made me adjust my thinking was this excerpt I read - I've quoted it a couple of times already on Yahoo Answers -
"You have to be irresponsible sometimes to fall in love. You walk into a relationship and know that you are probably going to get hurt, but there's nothing greater to me than being irresponsibly crazy about somebody."
Every day, although I proceed with caution, I am reminded that taking a chance on love again has made me so incredibly happy.
Good luck.
2007-08-31 02:34:02 · answer #4 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy answer .Both of you need to feel it is okay to "risk" being in love .(easier said than done )
Is he in the military or something ? The info about why he is gone would be helpful.
If he is an over the road truck driver ..hey ROADTRIP!!!!!
Some of the closest relationships i have seen are with couples that are over the road truck drivers.
Also all the things we men do to woo women ...work on us as well . Notes , small inexpensive but thoughtful gifts
Naughty notes , Tastefull but naughty pictures .
we men like to think we are tough mentaly , sometimes tho we can use a shoulder to cry on as well .
Always cuddel a bit after sex . Some of the best sex you can have is cuddel-sex .Forget about org@sm's for a bit .Think about you and him being one .
(dont forget about the big O too long too often but cuddel sex is awesome )
2007-08-31 02:40:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok.
My guy and I had both been hurt.
He was in the Army for 8 years, was sent to Iraq and when he came home found out his wife had been cheating on him while he was gone.
I was engaged to my first love, my highschool sweet heart, 9 months before the wedding he cheats no me.
I was the employee, he was the boss, but we were also friends. He comforted me when my relationship ended, he was a year out of his. He hadn't been with anyone since and I was afraid of love.
We talked a lot. We kissed once or twice. We talked even more. Eventually he told me he fell in love with me. I was scared. I ran away, but it was too late, I was in love an terrified!
But he's amazing and now, we're engaged to be married.
We're looking for a place to live for me him and his daughter.
give him time. he might come around. if not move on hun. you can't wait forever, you'll get hurt that way for sure!
2007-08-31 02:35:54 · answer #6 · answered by Tonya Kelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need to be willing to make it work.
This means saying right from the start we are going to both work at this no matter what.
If you start off thinking that as soon as it gets hard i'm leaving to find someone else then you might as well not even bother.
You need to make a real commitment to stick with it always.
No one is perfect but you can work on getting better if you give each other a chance.
2007-08-31 02:29:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like much of a chance if you are not seeing each other but every few months. It is hard to claim a relationship until you have shared enough time to know each other very well.
2007-08-31 02:26:22 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept that fact that you may get hurt. Like everybody else on the planet. If you live your life in fear, you will risk losing out on something wonderful.
2007-08-31 02:27:23 · answer #9 · answered by Kaya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on the Dr Phil show
2007-08-31 02:26:11 · answer #10 · answered by Mr p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋