I'm the father of a child being born tomarrow, she wants full custody and I want joint custody..what can I do?

Question

Hello all, I'm a resident in Texas and have a baby due tomarrow (I'm sooo excited!!) I've never been married to the mother..and we broke up quite a while ago. I believe a mother and a child should be together for the childs sake, but I do want joint custody on paper and she wants full custody and has stated many times she wants me to not have a part in my childs life just to hurt me. I'm not abusive, I don't drink, I'm a good person who just wants to have a positive impact in my childs life. I even agreed I'd let her move to San Antonio with the baby and her new man and that's not good enough...What can I do!? Will a court deny me joint custody if there's no probable cause!? She's just being so childish and unreasonable and I need to know my rights before it gets ugly.

to the poster below, I do work at a hotel as a concierge, so I do have a job

Answer 1

You guys aren't even capable and mature enough to work out your own differences and you're bringing a child into this world??? You both should be ashamed of yourselves.

Answer 2

The fact that she's moved away from you is not good. I don't think you can have joint custody unless you live close enough to making the transfer of the child easy.

Also, you will need to show the judge that you have someone that will babysit the child when he/she is in your custody. A loving grandparent or family member would be ideal if you can manage that.

I would suggest you seek an attorney as soon as possible. What she says she will do and what actually happens is two different things.

I would make sure your name is on the birth certificate too. Be sure to let the judge know that you want to pay child support and want liberal visitation regardless if you get joint custody or not.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I agree with everybody here, you need to get your name on that birth certificate. If she denies you that, take the DNA test. Go ahead and find a lawyer asap. In fact, you probably should have sought a lawyer as soon as she told you she didn't want you in the baby's life. I truly doubt any judge would give her sole custody of the baby, especially since you're showing great interest for the well being of the child. As for the mother being the best parent, that is not a given. If she shows her contempt for you and is proven to not be a stable role model for the child, you may end up with primary custody of the baby.

In any case, good luck, I wish you well in your fight. Your ex-gf can make this a long drawn out fight, but remember who you are doing this for.

Answer 4

I'm sorry you're going through this. My soon to be ex-husband won't let me move out of state to be able to afford to live and pays no support. You sound like an understanding person. If there are no problems you haven't mentioned than a judge will allow you to have visitation. The courts frown on full custody. They favor joint.

Also, she may be upset over the split and a bit moody because of the end of the pregnancy. I wouldn't bring it up just yet. I would let her enjoy the new child and you enjoy her too. Then, when the time is right, bring it up again. If she says no you may have a court battle ahead of you. But please don't change your mind about her move. If she lives in an expensive state like I do, it is so hard for a single parent to make it. If you feel it is best for your child, allow the move.

Answer 5

Texas has laws that protect you as the father. Joint custody is quite possible for you. You'll walk away with nothing less than joint managing conservatorship as a minimum.

You need an attorney though, and one that specializes in family law.

Your start will be to prove paternity, if she fails to list you as the father, you will need to prove paternity. The attorney will cost you , as will the DNA testing if it becomes necessary.

In so much as the child and the mother? Not true, the child needs to be with the parent that is better suited to care for the child. If that's you, then you need to fight for custody. If you're saying that the mother will be a good mother, and you want joint custody so that you have visitation, then pat yourself on teh back fo stepping up to the plate.

I have 2 teenage sons that I have been raising with little to no help from the mother, they are better off with me, their grades and attitude prove that. I have no problem with the court system, and I live in San Antonio.

Get your attorney as soon as you know what is on the birth certificate. Go to sourt for the custody arrangements as soo as possible, don't assume that if you guys come to agreements that you are safe, everyone can get pi**ed and change their mind.

Well done Dad, keep it up.

Answer 6

You can always make sure the hospital knows who you are. You may even ask for the DNA test (a cotton swab from both yours and the infant's cheek) before they all take off.
Basically, you are building a case with some evidence.
I would also suggest getting a family attorney.

If she is demanding child support, she will certainly have to deal with your presence.

I know that in a lot of cases the father would consider it a real blessing if the mom decided that she didn't want to share custody or want any child support money.

Answer 7

I have a child and my baby mother is the same way..I can relate..
But what i know is that the court could give you a case to get joint custody your BABY MOTHER has no cause for u not to see your baby so they will give u joint custody just because she wants to hurt u and don't like you dosent mean that you shouldent be aloud to see your child so when u goto court most likey your going to have to bring a family member or friend to comferm that you would be a good father and there for so you can get joint custody.

Answer 8

You can get an attorney and fight for joint custody in court. You have just as much right to see your child as she does. You will also be given how much the support should be to the mother for your child once custody is established.

Answer 9

Take her azz to court, you have every right to see your child. They will NOT deny a child a competent good father just becuause the mother wants to be spiteful. Since you guys arent married you probably wont get joint custody but you will certainly be able to have visitation when you want.

Answer 10

How do you expect to raise a child on a concierge income??? No wonder the mother doesn't want you in her life. It costs about US$500000 to raise a child between ages to 18 and that's in today's Dollars. Then you have college / university - which is about $50000 per year! I find it quite disturbing that so many people decide to have kids but have no means of raising them.

Answer 11

You have just as much rights as she does. You can take her to court and file for joint custody and if they do not find probable cause you have that right for joint and she has to comply with the judges decision. Let the judge know what she has said and what she is willing to do for you not to see your child and let him also know that you are willing to pay child support but you also want to be in your child's life. I think that the only reason that she is trying to hurt you is because you have not made a decision to make her apart of your life and commit to her like you are willing to commit to your child. I bet that if you tell her that you want to be a family that she would drop her boyfriend in a heart beat just to be with you to get married and you are not ready for that and you should not be forced to be committed with someone who is trying to hurt you by taking your child away. You do what is best for the child and if you want to go for full custody and every time you see him/her you take pictures of any bruises that they may have to keep for your records. If she can play dirty why can't you. You are not trying to be mean but she is not worrying about your feelings and how your child may feel not knowing who they daddy are. You go for it and fight for your right to have your child.