My b/f and I talked tonight and I told him that sometimes I feel too nice and that I feel like a doormat. He works as a teacher, coach and is in a musical, all of which consumes alot of his time. At night after the musical, like 10 or so, he calls to tell me about his day and we chat for 15 or 20 minutes. He then says he will call back and when he does, it's 2 or 3 hours later because he falls asleep and then he wakes up and remembers he forgot. He keeps apologizing but to no avail, the same incident happens every night. Tonight I said that I was going to put my foot down and get mean about it. I am so irritated and don't know what to do or say. He told me that his ex was a royal ***** and always mad at him, so he feels he put extra effort into that relationship to try to keep her happy. He told me that I never get mad or express my feelings, so he feels like the relationship flows and therefore, he doesn't put tons of effort in! Does he take me and the relationship for granted?
2007-08-30 16:53:20 · 12 answers · asked by PrincessAsh23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No he isn't taking your relationship for granted but he's a very busy man...After the musical is over maybe you could talk to him about taking it easy on some workload because you want to spend time more with him....When he does call you after 10 do expect that your man is very tired....being around kids all day...lots of work...so when he says he will call you back...just tell him to get some rest and call you when he wakes up in the morning.
Honestly he is kinda putting effort to your relationship, he calls you when he gets home no matter how long his day went, its like this...youre the first and the last person he wants to hear from on a daily basis.
2007-08-30 17:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by lvchic_702 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say he doesn't feel as pressured with you as he did with his ex. If you worked all day and late into the evening you'd probably fall asleep too. If you don't trust him you know where the door is. Sometimes people disappoint us, even though they try not to. And sometimes things are just what they really are. If you feel taken for granted let him know that. You've been silent about these problems when you shouldn't have been. Don't be surprised if he seems bewildered by your feelings now as you gave no clue as to your true feelings. Do what you feel you must, but prepared for anything when you do.
2007-08-31 00:15:31 · answer #2 · answered by redd headd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try to be assertive. Don't tell him that you're going to put your foot down. Just put it down.
The only person responsible for you being taken advantage of is you. We all have the power to make choices. Some choices are harder than others. Some require sacrifice or compromise. Some bring excrutiating pain. You should BOTH work on making you more assertive.
Don't be afraid to get into a fight if you have something worth arguing about. Stand your ground on issues you believe in. Don't be afraid to be wrong. I'm wrong a lot, but I don't let it bother me too much. I think about life as one long learning experience.
Once we get to the end, after we've aquired the peak of our wisdom, we die and rot.
I suppose our greatest purpose in life is to share as much of ourselves as possible, while we can, whether it's family, friends or online Yahoo! Answers junkies.
2007-08-31 00:04:39 · answer #3 · answered by Cosmodot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is, that he really doesn't need to be in a relationship. He has a lot of irons in the fire and that's ok. However, he needs to realize that a relationship takes a lot of time and energy to make it work. Something has to give. As for what you can do, you need to decide what you expect from a relationship and if this one is meeting those requirements. Being in a relationship that isn't working can be a huge drain. Keep open lines of communication and I hope you can find something that is mutually satisfying.
2007-08-31 00:21:34 · answer #4 · answered by og0925go 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married life prelude, congrats u got some real life practice juggling being a doormat n a great partner. Its just that guys also face the same dilemma juggling job stress n ur feelings.Steal time for erotic weekends, just feel that u r there for one another during all ups n downs, there is no bigger high than this.
2007-08-31 00:03:39 · answer #5 · answered by swati_chhavi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have a problem. And yes, you are taken for granted. He's tired and puts in long days, tho...do you really want to get this upset about an almost only phone friend? You could get a full-time boyfriend...
2007-08-30 23:59:56 · answer #6 · answered by LuckyEddie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you had to do all those things then you'd probably tired too. calling you is probably hard becuz honestly, i would of took a shower and fell rite to bed. so you might feel like he's talking you for granted but if you were in his place then you'd understand. i get mad at my boyfriend too becuz he doesn't call me but he has classes so it's okay.
2007-08-30 23:58:52 · answer #7 · answered by *EM* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is busy and stressed out... maybe u could try calling him if he forgets but I think if it keeps happening then he is definitly taking u for granted
2007-08-30 23:58:54 · answer #8 · answered by chillininCA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
believe it or not a lot of women wish they had men who would remember to even call them back and who have a even harder time to even get their men to sit down and have a conversation. im pretty sure he is not taking your relationship for granted.
2007-08-30 23:59:32 · answer #9 · answered by lyric19_86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt it. He can't help the demands and results of his job.
As for his ex, he might've been right. If he put in extra effort for her, talk to him, and he might do it for you, too- long as you don't become as bad as she was.
2007-08-30 23:59:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋