why won't my boyfriend stay around me long enough to have a conversation after he spends the nite he leaves.

Question

i drive his mercedes and spend a lot of his money but he say's he does not want a relationship yet. i love him and want to marry him. he wont say to me i love you he's with his boys on the weekend to relax he says. this man has been in my life for over 19 years we started being lovers three years ago. is he just shy or undecided. he is devorced with one son in college. how do i get closer to him without running him away i live alone and i lost my job after my husband died and have been doing my own business with his help i am able to keep my apartment. we live in different areas of the city i want to be with him more and talk to him more but he's all about business. i am all about loving him but he wont stay around me long enought to talk after we wake up he is out of here. what to do. somebody know any magic

Answer 1

He's getting what he wants and paying for it. You aren't going to change him. Either accept it or get independent and move on with your life.

Answer 2

I'm sorry that you are so frustrated.... In this and all situations, you can't change him.
It *appears* that he is not looking for the same level of committment as you are. What further commplicates the issue is that he has helped you financially with your business, so perhaps he feels that since he is doing this, he does not owe you the comittment you are seeking (which is not an excuse).
You are in a catch 22, and only you can make the decision as to whether the relationship will work as it stands. There is no magic pill to turn a non-committed man into a dedicated partner.
1) He is not going to change. If he wanted to change the nature of the relationship, he would have done so.
2) knowing this, you have to decide... "can I accept him "as is" or do I need to move on?" If you do move on, how will you support yourself financially, etc.... you may need to get a second source of steady income if you do decide the relationship is going nowhere.
Empower yourself to do whatever you want without someone's help.

Answer 3

There is no magic to get a man to stay with you or be with you in the way that you want. Apparently he does not want a committment with you or with anyone probably. He sounds like he is comfortable with the situation you have provided for him. He gets sex when he wants. He knows you adore him which provides his ego. He does not take your feelings into consideration. THe only good thing I see is that he provides for you. BUt you are not satisfied with that and I don't blame you. BUt if you have been with him for this long and nothing has changed, then nothing ever will. Sorry. BUt you are wasting your time with him in the sense that he is not going to ever marry you. You don't say how old you are, but if you are still young then you should dump him and find someone who really wants to be with you and have a committment with you. Money is not everything in life. It's nice to have but a loving, committed relationship should be right up there too. Don't let him know how much you care about him. I know it's hard not to show it. I've been through something like you're going through. It's hard not to show the love you feel for someone. BUt be strong. You're too dependent on him. Try to be more independent and do your own thing without him. Good luck. I hope it works out for you in the end. You sound like a nice person.

Answer 4

Thats a hard situation to be in. But I would say you should expand your horizions. If he loved you as much as you love him, he would make time for you in his life. You deserve someone that cares for you as much as you care for them. You might also be getting used a bit. My suggestion would be to talk to him and let him know how you feel and see if you can find out why he acts the way he does. If he doesn't have a good solid answer, tell him that your thinking of moving on and see if that makes him reconsider his options, if he doens't then make your move, if he does, work it out.

Answer 5

He doesn't deserve you. It sounds like he's okay with you spending his money as long as you sleep with him. He doesn't want to invest more emotionally. So save yourself and get out know if you really love him. Or if you're okay just being his late night friend while you spend his money than stick with it and stop giving 100%. Who knows, maybe when you become more detached and less available he'll be more interested.

Answer 6

he seems to be satisfied with the way things are going on between you. you said he's been in your life for many years now. but only recently have you been in a serious relationship with him. that means you know him very well by now. you might be what i consider 'friends with benefits". you sleep with him, he spends money on you. he doesn't want to take his relationship with you any further than that. if you are not satisfied with him, try to move on. he is not worthy of your affection. you would get hurt if he finally decides to sever ties with you. do you want to wait for that time? can you bear it when it comes? think of your well being and not only of his.

Answer 7

He's smart.

He knows what he wants & is getting it.

You're not so smart however, you continue to satisfy his needs & fail to realize that he wants nothing more than a physical relationship.

You need to either accept this or move on to someone who has the patients to allow you to talk his ear off.

Answer 8

he cant offered you more than now because you make he feel that you like his money more than him from the start. so this is naturally that the man like to spend money on one girl for getting sex. He like you but he dont love you. If you really want the situation become better, try to not use his money, be independent, and dont use his car unless he insisted you reawlly strong. you know i have one friend who has similarity to you. A lot of boy like her but no one want to marry her because she always want money from the boy. You know the boy hate that. They want you love them not just for money.

Answer 9

You got yourself a sugar daddy. If you want a relationship find someone else. If you like the side "benefits" then find yourself a boy toy.

Answer 10

sounds like he's happy being your sugar daddy and leaves in the morning after he got what he paid for.....think about it sweetie......does it really add up? if you want to run him away......just say marriage or relationship and watch him drive that mercedes away.......