after shacking up for over six months, with sex several times a week, she gave me permission to enter her ANYTIME, that she is asleep or seems to be asleep, as long as her "portal" is in a position that would not disturb her excessively.
Several weeks ago, though, I woke up with her straddling me and yanking on me, so bad, I thought I was being attacked by a horde of nymphomaniac aliens.
Now we're having a huge fight over "turn about is fair play"! She claims I'm a hypocrite, but she simply doesn't understand that unlike women, who don't have to be sexually stimulated for intercourse, I, as a middle-aged guy, need lots of time and foreplay ( and sometimes Viagra) to get my motor running.
How can I explain to her that the situation isn't symmetrical, without her coming unglued?
2007-08-30 15:39:42 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hehe. You could have worse problems! ;-)
Frankly, as long as she isn't a psycho, a simple, honest talk should suffice. If you're in a relationship, the sex should be as much about sharing as for personal pleasure, so she should take the time to understand your situation and accomodate it. Man up and just tell her the straight truth.
2007-08-30 15:47:58 · answer #1 · answered by AmigaJoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wrong, wrong, wrong. If you two want to do this sort of thing, you're both going to need some education. The theory is sound; consciousness isn't needed for a sexual response. The practical interpretation (by both of you) stinks. This is not plug 'n' play.
If you get the urge and can perform in the middle of the night, you're apparently not dependant on Viagra. But I've never heard anyone seriously claim that women don't have to be sexually stimulated for intercourse. Gentle petting results in the woman being compliant, even to the point of rolling onto her back. A bit of encouragement may be necessary, and it isn't difficult to get the woman to part her legs with some petting of the thighs. Further stimulation results in the vaginal walls relaxing and the secretion of lubrication. If you want to keep her asleep, this must all be done very gently.
She obviously picked this trick up when she and her partner were younger. Younger men have regular erections during the night and remain asleep for the most part. The frequency declines gradually after 25 or 30. What she could easily do with a 25-year-old isn't as easy with a 50-year-old. If you add some medications, notably antidepressants, that doesn't help the situation any. But since your account indicates that you aren't completely dependant on Viagra, what works for her should work for you.
Either way, it should still be a matter of making love to one another. The way you're doing it now, you regard her as a convenient receptacle and she regards you as an on-demand sex toy. The results don't surprise me. If you do it right, the woman can wake up in the middle of an orgasm, get all cuddly, and fall back asleep. She usually wakes up all lovey-dovey in the morning. Listen to experience before you make it any worse. This is the rule: You can have it any time you want, but whoever wants it has to do the work. Your work is to please your partner. It worked for us.
2007-08-30 23:54:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm, I think everyone should be free to enjoy their own fetishes, as long as they dont harm other people but.... you realise this is not "normal" sexual behaviour dont you?
Women DO need to be stimulated for sex to be pleasurable. Unless youre tiny and shes huge, sex while she is unconcious, is going to be painful and full of friction. I would recommend doing it while you are both awake. But if you insist on persisting in this one sided sex fetish, try using lube, and gentle coaxing.
2007-08-30 22:47:32 · answer #3 · answered by Vicarious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's right - you want a free ticket - she should get one too-
So maybe you should have relations when it will be an experience to be shared and enjoyed by the both of you - rather either of you being degraded to being skin covered rod or hole
2007-08-30 22:48:44 · answer #4 · answered by keezy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her the truth and if you're allowed to enter her all the time she should be allowed to
2007-08-30 22:45:02 · answer #5 · answered by Melly. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a bimbo....good luck your going to need it.
2007-08-30 22:45:44 · answer #6 · answered by catlady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her what you just wrote maybe she get the message.
2007-08-30 22:46:56 · answer #7 · answered by old crow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhhh... when u know its coming... look up porn?? i donno just get aroused lots
2007-08-30 22:47:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋