If it's safe to say we all agree that words can be sharp enough to break a persons heart and spirit, then why

Question

do we continue to use negative words to hurt people? Especially the people we love?

Answer 1

Very, very good question. I sense a theme . . .

During my critical thinking lecture one night, we were covering contradictions in theory. Right before the lecture, it hit me that I held one of these contradictions. I believe that words are extremely powerful; however, I also believe that words can't affect you if you don't let them. I realized that I couldn't believe both if I wanted to back my beliefs with sound logic. Unfortunately, I've been unable to decide which direction I want to go with. It seems awfully bass ackwards for a writer to say that words don't have power . . . .

I think what we have to recognize is that words can in fact break someone's heart. But if it's someone we love, we can also realize that those words may not be what's in the speaker's heart. They may simply be words of anger.

Answer 2

I think it is safe to say that it is TRUE that words can cause severe damage to others, but I don't think it is safe to say that everyone agrees. Almost every one of us has heard the saying, "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I know that I was taught that words can only hurt you if you give them the power to do so...but I no longer believe that...but I don't think I could say that everyone else I've ever met feels the same way I do.

Why do people that know the truth (words hurt) continue to use negative words? I can think of several reasons off the top of my head.

Some people deliberately use words to hurt other people (usually people they don't love, but sometimes even then). As a child, I knew that when I said "I hate you" to my mom in the heat of an argument that my words hurt her...and with that 20/20 hindsight thing, I can admit that sometimes I said it deliberately to "get back at her" for doing something that hurt me (tit for tat)!

For some people it is a habit, perhaps they weren't aware of the damage a particular word can cause (e.g., "idiot" or "stupid") when they started using it and now it has become an unconscious part of their vocabulary.

Some people may not even be aware that the words they are using is "negative". This happened to me very recently when I was having a conversation with my cousin about my beliefs. At some point in the conversation, after she said she didn't accept something I said, I said, "That's OK, I'm still working on you". I didn't say that to hurt her and I didn't even think it was something negative until she brought it up in a later conversation. She said she was offended and hurt by that comment because it suggested that I thought there was something wrong with her...something that was broken and needed to be fixed. She has a valid point and I apologized! I think we do things like this to people we love all the time.

Answer 3

As a general rule, I don't use negative words to hurt others. The "power of the tongue and the words we speak" was one of the first things I learned after becoming born again.
That little childhood saying--"Sticks & stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is totally false! There is great power in our words--to do good and edify others, or to cause great harm. We should choose our words very carefully, because we can never take them back!!! Once spoken, the damage has been done.

Answer 4

I'm not sure why it starts, but I know that mean words tend to create a slippery slope. When someone you love says something that hurts you, you want to hurt them back and this just continues on and on. Eventually there are so many bad feelings you can't get back to where you started. It's very sad. But even so, adults are strong and can recover one way or another.

I think it's infinitely more tragic when this happens to children, though. When children are spoke to meanly, it hurts them in a way that I don't think they can recover from. They grow up being the mean adults that continue the vicious cycle of negativity.

Answer 5

We are selfish by nature. It's rare to find a human being who is thoughtful enough to be responsible with their verbage during an argument or discussion. We only think of ourselves and "our" pain when in the heat of an argument...We continue to use these negative words not out of true meaness, but out of hurt ourselves. It's never nice to hear that your better half doesn't want to take a trip with you or spend the holidays together, so you are hurt...naturally, human nature is to lash out and cause pain to the one that causes you pain. You can see the behavior in toddlers in a most primitive form. When a toddler takes a toy or shoves another toddler, the hurt toddler retaliates back with wanting to hurt or take from the attacker. The people we love can hurt us the most, therefore that is why those people are the most vulnerable when it comes to our lashing out in anger against them. I know that it seems confusing, but it honestly is a very simple concept. Once you master what you are truly feeling, and can stop that anger when you recognize, you can stop yourself from saying things that you know you really won't mean or will truly hurt the other person.

Answer 6

Words could damage ones feelings towards the individual ones spirit is usually unaffected by verbal communications, I do occasionally offend without meaning to but quick to apologize for any misgiving offenses. Some people take things out of text and thus problems occurs.

Answer 7

As the song goes, "Sticks and stones might hurt me, but the words you said just tore my heart in two".

(Okay, I admit, I've been waxing lyrical of late, everything reminds me of a song!.)

I think, often people don't realize how hurtful some of the things they say are. The more you happen to care about the person the more hurtful it can be.

Answer 8

unfortunately we tend to be freer in our speech with people we love. i have known people who were very kind to strangers but quite cutting to family.

i would prefer to remain silent (and that's what i usually do) then to say whatever horrible thing pops into my head.

sometimes i think we should treat each other as company rather then family.

bright blessings

edit
depending on who says the words i think they can hurt a great deal. there are probably only two people on earth that have the power to hurt me, because they are the ones i care about most.

Answer 9

I think people do that MOST to the ones they love because they know they will be forgiven. It is sad. Words can hurt you deeply.
I remember once when I was 15, my mom said something to me I will NEVER forget. It has been 35 years.

I was in the car with her. She was pulling out of the dry cleaners and was angry with me. A car was coming, and she said, "Maybe it'll hit on YOUR side."

Answer 10

Oh, (((Rammie))), how did you know I was doing that ALL DAY yesterday? I hurt myself in the process of slicing and dicing another with my words. They say we always hurt the ones we love because we know they will always come back to us.

But what happens when they do not? What happens when our knife is just a tad too sharp?