Wedding budget---argument between me and my fiance?

Question

So my fiance thinks we should spend $3,000 on photography and not have an open bar. I think we should have our 2 friends (both great photographers) do the photos and have an open bar. Please note that I am NOT a drinker, I just think a big day calls for a celebration. Plus, 2 couples are driving over 1,000 miles to be at the wedding, all at their expense. Oh, by the way, even if our friends mess up the photos, we are still having a videographer there so we it's not like we wouldn't have any documentation of our wedding if the pics turned out horrible

Answer 1

I would reccomend a cash bar and professional photographer. At least for the formal shots before the wedding. You will seriously regret not having decent wedding photos if that turns out to be the case. The pictures are REALLY the only thing you have left after it's all said and done. My dad is a photographer and he offers all different packages. Lots of photographers nowadays offer to put the pictures onto a CD for you as well so that saves you money on the printing and stuff. I think that if you are not a big drinker, then don't do an open bar. Have you priced doing some kegs, wine and champagne as compared to an open bar? And if you have out-of-town guests that you are concerned about, they should be invited to the rehearsal dinner even if they are not in the wedding party. That is one way to say thank you to them. You can also put together a basket of goodies, possibly give them a gift certificate to a restaurant, something along those lines as an extra way of thanking them for making that cross-country trek. All I know is that I got married in March and I've come to find out the hard way that the more compromising you do, the better. If he is that dead set on the photos and you are that dead-set on the open bar, why don't you suggest looking at getting a photographer for some formal shots even if it's just the two of you in a park after the wedding, or a few formal shots before-hand. Then mention that you are willing to price the kegs, wine and champagne as compared to an open bar. Hopefully you will find a happy medium. Another helpful tip - The most important pictures are of the two of you, and your wedding dress. So you could get engagement shots, bridal portraits a week or two before, and then possibly the formal shots of the two of you together that day. Then your friends can still take all the pics they want at the wedding, everyone can still party hard, you can share something special with your out-of-town guests, and your husband will feel like he still got his way! And you'll live happily ever after! Good luck!

Answer 2

It seems like you are going to unnecessary extremes...both of you. You neither need to spend $3,000 on photography, nor have friends take your pictures. Your fiance is probably just miffed at you because, as you say, you don't really care if your pictures turn out horribly since you'll have the video. It is not the same--pictures are very important.

Hiring a professional is also very important. Unless your friends are actual professional photographers, they are not going to be able to take the right kinds of pictures. There are about a million things that go into staging a shot that non-professionals would never think about. Your pictures are important. The day is going to fly by very quickly, and I'm sure you're not going to want to plug in the video every time you want to reminisce. That is what pictures are for. Not to mention, the video always misses important shots. Don't forget about hanging pictures around the house, having in photo albums to share, putting on your desk at work, etc. Even if this isn't important to you, you have to recognize that it is very important to your fiance.

That being said, $3,000 is very extreme. I bet you can find a great photographer for at least half of that amount. Then you can also have an open bar. I don't think open bars are tacky, but if your fiance has a big problem with it, maybe you can compromise here, too. Just have an open bar hour or two. Or, just close the bar during dinner. I've seen many couples do that.

Answer 3

Okay, first, what do you mean by open bar? Do you mean a full bar/open bar? With beer, wine, champagne, hard liquors & mixers? If yes, then, my 2 cents is that this is a wasted expense! Do beer & wine for your guests & a punch, & be done with it! Or have the beer & wine from you & the hard liquor on a seperate cash bar. I'm telling you, the guests will drink what you serve! It would be rude of them to expect you to cater to their every whim & you should not! They are your guests; if you had them over for dinner would you feel compelled to go out & buy every liquor made just in case they wanted a special drink? Of course not! This is no different! Consider the guests' comfort, but don't get too hung up on how far they are coming etc. They could have always declined the invite; that was their choice! Most catering places will even let you tell them an amount up front that you are willing to spend on liquor. Tell them $500 and when you are getting close to that, have them tell you and then you can decide how much more you want to spend. Or have the free liquor served for 3 hrs. only. Both of these are perfectly acceptable methods!

Now, the photography! When this lovely event is over, all you will have left is a dress hanging in the closet, photos, and possibly a DVD. Now, a DVD cannot capture the special frozen moments in time like a photo can! These moments may seem unimportant to you now, but trust me, they are very important to your fiance! Most people I know and most of my previous clients have looked at their video maybe twice! However, they took their photo books to work, friendly gatherings, family gatherings, church, anywhere possible to show them off! If you have the friends take the pictures, not only is there a chance they will not turn out, but it may cause other problems too. Friendship and business usually don't mix! They may think that since they are doing you a favor, you don't really have the right to tell them when or how to do it! (not like with a stranger who you have paid). Think seriously about this!

Answer 4

This is kind of tricky but I think there could be a way to compromise. Why don't you spend half the cost on photography and set a bar limit. Like $1500 on each. That way you can still get some professional photos and guests don't have to pay for all drinks. Just have the bar people tell you when the limit is getting close then when the limit is reached people can pay for their own drinks after that. People know that weddings are expensive so they will understand if you can't pay for all drinks. Personally, I think it is more important to have good photos as you will have them forever. But there is no reason why you can't have both. Just get a cheaper photography package and have an open bar too. If you just get professional photos for the ceremony and a few portraits, you could also ask your two friends to take all the photos of the reception.

Answer 5

I would say have the money spent on the pictures and have a cash bar. Or at the most have open bar for cocktails and then cash for dinner. The reason is that you and your fiance will be held responsible for any alcohol that is served that evening. That means if someone were to get a DUI or even worse kill someone they could turn around and sue you for providing the liquor. The other problem you may run into is IDing minors. The bartenders tend to be more lax with judgement calls. I do agree with the above post about having someone professional do your portrait shots. We did the camera on the table thing and ended up with fifteen okay shots when there were over 35 cameras out! We had too many pictures of food; people doing inappropriate things, EVERYTHING other than the reception. Yes you'll have the video but you can't frame a video. You can have your friends take all the reception shots. Good luck and congrats!

Answer 6

$3,000 for photography? What all does that include?

I would opt out on the open bar and find a cheaper photographer.

Contrary to some answerers to this question, NOT EVERYONE expects alcohol at a wedding reception.

MANY people have dry receptions and STILL have a blast.

People do NOT need alcohol, and YOU do not need people driving home drunk after your reception. IMO if you do any alcohol whether open or cash bar you should look into making sure people under the influence have a way home.

NOone will remember the alcohol. Pictures IMO are a BIG deal, even if you have a videographer.

I agree with your fiance. But find a cheaper professional photographer.

Compromise.

Answer 7

Just wanted to add with the photos the creation of the wedding album is a major cost. I went cheap on the photos but got a good videographer. The photographer used high end canon digital cameras and we got them on DVD's at 6 megapixels. We were going to spend another $1000 to make a nice album but found the photos we liked at 4 x 6 size were not good enough quality at 8 x 11 size. I made at album myself at one of the online sites, it OK but not great. We paid $500 for the photographer, and received over 300 photos.

Think about the photos carefully. What is good enough for your memories.

I do agree you should have an open bar of some kind. Whether it is a full open bar, or maybe wine, beer, and a few signature drinks based on your wedding colors. I am just against guest having to reach for their wallet at a wedding.

Answer 8

um photos are a BIG deal! A great photographer (usually a photo journalist) can make your pictures and the memory of your wedding be like a fairytale, or a magazine! My suggestion, go with the photographer- photos will last forever! you and your friends buzz will only last a couple hours! or compromise (which is what marriage is all about) have drink limit (only 1-2 drinks free per guest than they have to pay after that) this will keep the tab low, and then search for a more reasonibly priced photographer. You can still find some for in the 1,500- 2,000. Our photograher we only payed 800 for it, and i kinda regret it! i wished we had better pictures! not that my husband and i came out bad, but any joe smoe with a camera could have done similar work. Money is tight when you are planning a wedding, but things that last forever are something that you splurge on! good luck!:)

Answer 9

I think you should find a much cheaper photographer and have a limited open bar without the high end liquor. We paid $1,500 for a good photographer. He took great pictures. Compromise. Tell your fiance that the pictures will wind up in a drawer collecting dust, except for the 1 you frame and put up in your house. The best pictures from our wedding are the ones that friends and family gave to us afterward. The professional ones we've never even looked at other than the day we picked them up.

Answer 10

Believe me, your fiance is right. Photography is something you NEVER want to be cheap on. Those pictures are what you will be looking at for the rest of your life. Hire a professional photographer, and exclude the open bar. Your guests will forgive you (as long as you dont have like a $5000 dress to boot).

The photographer at my wedding offered a package where you only paid for the time and the rights to the pictures (it was like $1,000 tops) so you could print as many as you want. Maybe you should look for something like that.