how can a WOMAN teach a BOY...?

Question

I AM A 23 YR OLD SINGLE MOM... CAN U GUYS TELL ME SOME WAYS I CAN TEACH MY 4YR OLD SON TO BE MASCULINE I AM NOTICING HE IS VERY FEMININE ((BECUZ HES ALWAYS AROUND WOMEN n GIRLS)) HIS DAD IS NOT INVOLVED SO HE ONLY HAS FEMALES TO LOOK TO 4 GUIDANCE! HES SENSITIVE N CARING n ITS GOOD BUT....

HOW CAN I TEACH HIM TO BE TOUGH BRAVE AND ROUGH LIKE A....BOY!!?

****** WHAT ARE SOME GAMES OR ACTIVITIES GOOD 4 BOYS THAT I CAN PLAY WITH HIM????*****

WHENEVER I WANT TO PLAY SPORTS WITH HIM OR WRESTLE HE WHINES AND SAYS HE HATES SPORTS!! :(

Answer 1

Have you looked into any mentor programs like Big Brothers so he can spend time with responsible male figures? My nephew has a Big Brother whom he loves. Not only does it give my sister some alone time, but my nephew has a positive male role model in his life to teach him the masculine things in life since his father can't seem to find the time to do that.

Good luck!

Answer 2

You can not teach him to be a man. You can try to put him into situations where he will be around good positive male role models. You could try to get him a "big brother" or have a male friend or family member spend some time with him. You could also try to get him into organized sports, which is a wonderful opportunity for children to learn things like teamwork, hard work, perseverance and general sportsmanship. You also could try the boy scouts or some other outdoorsy group.

You also can talk to him about the differences in what boys and girls do. Praise him for things like holding a door for someone, helping, bravery, etc.

You also might try just playing a little rough with him. Wrestling, football, tree climbing, bugs, mud. Just do stuff with him that most boys like to do. Take a friend or two with him also when you do these things,other boys.

Answer 3

even children raised with both parents may not neccessarily be "masculine" or feminine. my nephew is always with his dad but he has sisters and likes the color pink, but he also likes trucks. it just depends on the kid. you can kick a ball around with him, or even just take him to the park which is a unisex activity, also try stimulating his mind. with things like trips to the museum to see dinosaurs, or get him into sailing model boats or kites. he can be masculine without playing rough or doing sports. u can also ask him to help u more with carry bags at the store, and by telling him what a good lil man he is and how helpful he is. these kinds of things will encourage him to be responsible and independent. both traits of good men. as he gets to school u may find his behavior changes the more he spends time with other boys. either way be happy that u have such a wonderful little man, don't worry about making him a certain way, if he is sensitive and caring he is already on a good path as it takes a real man to deal with his emotions and his being caring shows how much he respects u. your doing great, he will be a good man, even if he doesnt like sports.

Answer 4

Find an older boy for him to admire maybe a cousin. He will want to be like him and start to dress and act like him. Some kids are naturally more rough than others but most want to be like other people they admire.
My great nephew had two parents but he had a cousin about 6 years older he adored the older boy put up with him. When the big boy did skateboarding or video games and things the little one want to do it too, Now the big boy is 17 and the little one is 11 and the little one has his own things to do.
Sports aren't important but he should have activity like biking and digging in dirt.

Answer 5

Fear not. I raised my boys without their father, too. They both went through a "feminine" stage. Now, at 20 and 15, they are both very much masculine. Neither grew up with a father figure and they are fine.

I agree with the others about introducing sports to your son. However, not all boys like to play sports. Remember that.

Most of all, I suggest you relax and roll with the flow. Your son will develop as he grows up. Enjoy him and have fun.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I really do not think that a boy has to have a father in the picture to learn what it is to become a man....I am raising my boys and though there are male figures in thier lives, it has been mostly just me, my mom and my sisters...he will pick things up as he goes to school and play groups and such...playing sports is not just a "boy thing" and not all boys like sports....the best thing I think a mom can do is to teach her son to be a caring and respecting person who can be comfortable with his self. Let him just focus on being a kid and the rest will come as he grows.he will come across many people in his growing years like at school and such and you will find that he will start liking things that his friends do too...he doesnt have to be a rough and rowdy kid. just give him time to find his way....best of luck to you!

Answer 7

I was a single mom of 2 boys for quite some time. I wish someone would have told me a few things too, but my husband now has helped them. They are 9 and 11 and my 11 year old is like you are saying your son is, but hes gotten a lot better. Just enroll him in a sport of his choice, go outside and throw the ball around with him, dig in the dirt, go on a night walk with flashlights and look for animals and bugs. Take him to a local baseball game, etc. When it rains, go play in the puddles. What I did was shelter them too much from getting hurt. I never let them do anything risky from fear they would get hurt....but you have to let them go out and learn things ontheir own. It'll all turn out ok, have fun and enjoy his early years, it goes by so fast :)

Answer 8

Find him a mentor, like Big Brothers/Big Sisters org., or an uncle, grandfather, older male cousin, etc.

Is there some gentleman whom you trust in your neighborhood who might serve as a mentor for your son?

Is there anyone at the church you attend?

Does your son take part in any age appropriate play groups that will enable him to interact with other boys his age or slightly older?

Do any of your current girlfriends have husbands or boyfriends who might be able to help?

Do you live near a YMCA where you might involve your son in age and gender related groups?

How do you play with him? Do you build forts, have snow ball fights, rough house (lightly), wrestle, climb trees, go exploring, talk, play ball (baseball, soccer, football), etc.? Do you let him be a "little boy" or are you consciously or unconsciously directing to behave in a feminine manner?

Answer 9

Just because he is a boy does not mean he has to like sports and come on he is only 4. Love him for who he is, he may take an interest later, but forcing it will only make him resent it and you.

Answer 10

Oh my goodness.....

Listen, he's a KID. Let him be himself, whether he's into sports and roughhousing, or more quiet activities. Just because he was born with a penis does not mean he's supposed to naturally like sports. Do you like all things girly?

Let your child be who he is without feeling like there's something wrong with him. You'd be doing him a LOT more of a favor than if you try to insist he enjoy what society has convinced you he's "supposed" to enjoy.

I'm not saying he doesn't need a good male authority figure. I'm just saying that he shouldn't be made to feel like he's "supposed to" like sports and cars and rough-housing, and that his preferred pasttimes or attitudes are "girly."