my sister wont talk to me??

Question

me and my sister are really close she has my nephew who is 6 and is due to have her next baby(a girl) in november. ive recently got back with my daughters father who i love,after being split up for 5 weeks. me and him have been on and off for nearly 6 years,after having other relationships and domestic violence. i have been wrong at times in the relationship too,but even tho he dont continue hit me no more,she will not accept the fact we're back together and we love each other and want to make it work. wm worried now she wont let me see my nephew or my unborn neice i love her and her family so much and dont want to loose touch with her,but i know she's already changed her number,she knows where i live i jus hope one day she'll visit us and see blood is thicker than water?

Answer 1

Keep praying, and keep thinking positive thoughts. Send her letters occasionally. Real, handwritten ones. Not email.

Finish your education. It is important.

Make sure you go to counseling. It is vital.

Answer 2

Hi,

I guess that she loves you a lot which is why she is staying away because she doesn't like the man whom you are with and feels you can do much better for yourself.

You and your sister had a special bond and that bond usually means protecting each other.

In your sister's eyes it almost if you have put love before your own dignity and health and this is probably what she is finding most difficult.

Also because of the fact this man has had a history of being violent to you she feels you have walked back through the door to that life again and she probably angry at the pull this man has over you and feels that since you been in this relationship all your old dreams have gone and that this man has taken away her sister.

I think it best for you to make first move and to go and see your sister and talk to her - as she is pregnant she may also be distancing herself away as she doesn't feel she needs the harm and stress of worrying about you. She needs reassurance that you are ok.

Sometimes we can do things like this and people eventually give up on us as they see us making the same mistakes again and again.

Talk to her about it all and listen to her concerns without getting overly defensive over boyfriend.

Also ask yourself whether your relationship is so prefect and whether he is going to get help with his violence. It may all look peachy now as you back together but help needs to be set in place now BEFORE any cracks appear.

Good luck and I hope you don't allow this man to break a bond between you both.

Lx

Answer 3

I can appreciate your sisters stance on this, though I would not have gone so far as to change my number.

Domestic violence doesn't just 'go away', once it starts, it gets easier and easier after the first hit to hit again. He needs therapy, and I don't mean the court ordered kind, I mean real therapy. He needs find out what it is in him that causes him to do those type of things, and how to make it stop, it doesn't happen overnight, and doesn't even happen in 5 weeks.

Alcohol, stress at work, nagging all of those are BS excuses for domestic violence, we all have control over our anger, if we don't then we need help, and professional help.

I don't care how much of a b**ch you are to him, he in no way has a right to hit you, nor do you have the obligation to BE hit by him.

Only time will convince your sister that he won't hit you again, eventually, she will come around I would hope, but in the meantime, you need to make your visits with her, at her house, I am sure whe doesn't wnat her kids around your BF, no offense intended, but I wouldn't either.

All that said, you need to get therapy as well, you need to learn how to NOT be an enabler, and you need to learn waht a healthy relationship is.

Best of luck

Answer 4

Right, first things first, blood is NOT thicker than water.
Did you cry on your sisters shoulder when he hit you? did you ask for someone to talk to? did you sleep there and ask for her help?
your sister has the right to stop you from seeing her son and as for your unborn niece how are you meant to see her? You are in a violent relationship and why on earth should your sister be part of that?
You sister is making a stand and this is in the hope that you will see sense. Sisters are not always wrong but equally they are not always right.

Answer 5

Sisters try to protect one another and when you put yourself in an abusive situation there's nothing she can do but wait for you to fall and be there to pick up the pieces and it's heartbreaking. When you put your children in that situation it's infuriating! What kind of message is that sending them? Of course it seems all rosey now. You just got back together! Give it time and you'll fall back into the same rutt. Once an abuser..always an abuser. She probably doesn't want her children subjected to this guy. I don't blame her. Is he really worth losing your family over?

Answer 6

what friends and family members in abusive relationships don't realize is that we suffer with you when you are being mistreated. it wears on us physically and mentally to hear or see our loved one being abused.
so when a victim keep going back to the same punishment over and over again what else can you do besides try to shield yourself from the pain.
i don't mean to sound harsh but i understand your sister

Answer 7

i know how u feel wen i split with my fella my nan hated him we got back together and for a year she wouldnt let him come round so i spent alot of money going out then i found out i was pregnant and i wanted to move in with him she suggested he move in..... now they get on good....i suppose shes just looking out for ya

Answer 8

kk