Im 30 my boyfriend is 24 most of his friends is 20 and 21 years old.?

Question

I feel a bit strange hanging with them because all they do is talk about girls and going out. Nothing i want to hear about. I would rather i not be around his friends but he insist and wants me to do everything with him. How do i tell him i rather not without hurting his feelings?

Answer 1

i understand how you feel and all i can say is be lucky he wants to be with you all the time. my man is a mess but i love his friend and he does his own thing. i think its cute cuz he wants to spend time with his baby

Answer 2

Just tell him. If you love him, it should not offend him. Relationships are about compromise.

Ironically, my boyfriend and I are in the reverse situation. I'm 24 and he's 30.

Most of the time, I like hanging out with his late 20's and 30 something friends. I find we have good conversation and such.

However, sometimes I also feel out of place. My boyfriend and I don't live together, don't own a home together. I'm still in grad school. And the big one is we don't have children. Which a few of them do.

However, we do keep our time with them limited to weddings, birthday parties, etc.

We aren't out hanging out with them every day. I have my friends and he has his. We are respectful of the fact that we aren't going to want to do ALL the same activities.

If I want to see a chick flick w/ a girlfriend, then I go to that. He goes with the guys to watch football.

You need to talk. If you can't compromise. Then maybe you should end your relationship.

Answer 3

Congrats!!

Maybe you need to relax. I am nearly 12 years older than my wife and I love hanging out with her friends. If nothing else, I can be the voice of reason when we go out, but I always have a great time.

Relax! Remember guys mature later in life then women do. So, if you are already 6 years older than he is, that is like 15 "guy" years in maturity. That means, he has a LONG way to go before you and he will ever see eye to eye on many things. Try to lighten up and just have fun.

Good luck!

Answer 4

First, try to initiate and involve his friends in conversation you are more interested in - they may follow suit, and this could provide an enjoyable experience for all. Maybe involving them in an activity, such as poker, or watching a movie, where the conversation would be focused on the matter at hand would help.

Failing in that, tell him that you still want to hang out with his friends, but you'd rather make it 50/50 with him hanging out with you and your friends. Tell him it's a matter of equitability.

Answer 5

Why don't you tell how you feel about it. Or let him go off on his own, to be with his friends. You don't have to be with him every minute of the day. My ex wouldn't allow me to have friends and I was lonely all the time...Because he said I had to be with him and I wasn't even allowed to have friends, nor even look at another man for that matter. I walked with my head down in public all the time with him and not look at anybody at all. Don't control him.

If he wants to hang with his buddies, let him. You are only 6 yrs older than him. Not a big deal. Why does he like 20 year olds anyways?

Answer 6

First off, sounds like your boyfriend is too immature to be with you. If he would rather the both of you hang out with some 20 yers olds, then spend time with just you, something is not right there. Maybe you should consider hanging out with someone your own age.

Answer 7

Usually age doesnt mean much to me (as long as its legal!) but if you are feeling like you are a little too smart for that crowd you might need to talk to him. If these are his close friends, you're most likely out numbered.

Maybe try to throw some of your girlfriends into the mix, that way you will have some interesting conversation and still get to hang with your guy.

I used to date a guy who was a little younger... and it's not easy with guys, because they mature a lot slower than we ladies do,

Answer 8

Honestly, I have a lot of 27 and 28 year old male friends, and they always talk about girls and going out too. I don't think this is an age issue as much as it is a hanging around guys issue. Maybe you should spend less time with his friends and more time with your own friends.

Answer 9

First of all, you should tell him that it is not necessary for you to be around "all" of the time with his friends. Heck, I'd rather my girlfriend NOT be around me and my friends, especially when we discuss (not just talk about) sports.

What you can do is ask him "Wouldn't you just rather be around the guys?" Most normal guys would jump at the chance. More than likely, he's just showing you off to his group, because a) he's older than them, and b) you're older than all of them, and you're with him.

Be more assertive in saying "no", and, if you're getting a feeling of not being treated as you should be treated, initiate breaking up.

Just my two cents...

Answer 10

That relationship wont work. If he hangs around people even younger than him who talk about things you are too mature for and have no interest in, what does that say about the two of you being compatible? He is most likely a bit immature for his age, so why are you with him??? A guy that is 6 years younger who associates with even younger people?!?

Answer 11

Here's an indication you two may not be a good match...he's still of the age/maturity level to find that behavior interesting and want to be around his friends discussing it. You're well beyond that...simply tell him that's not your scene but you don't mind if he spends time with his friends. If he gets his feelings hurt because you don't want to spend every minute with him (esp when it concerns things that don't interest you) then he's too clingy/needy.