What can I do to help my son stop crying when I drop him off at Kindergarten?

Question

My son is 5 and just started Kindergarten two weeks ago. The first two days he was fine, then he went through about 4 days of crying. Then he made friends and the crying stopped. Today, though, the crying came back. I've tried having someone else take him, I've tried rewarding him on the days he didn't cry, etc. He says that he misses me and that's why he cries. The crying only lasts for a minute or two, but his teacher is saying that it proves he's not ready for Kindergarten and we should have held him back and started him at 6. I want to help him because I know he's ready for kindergarten, even if he is the youngest in his class. Any ideas on what I can do?

Answer 1

First of all it was wrong of your child's teacher to make that comment. It is perfectly normal for your child to have separation anxiety starting Kinder. Don't listen to his teacher. I am a Kinder teacher and I experience this every year. The best advice I can give you is to keep reassuring him that everything is going to be ok and that you will see him when he gets home from school. This behavior only lasts a couple of weeks. Pretty soon he will be running into the class and you will find that you have separation anxiety. My suggestion is to read him the book ,"The Kissing Hand". Great mommy and kid book. Hang in there it gets better.

Answer 2

Instead of "dropping him off," take some time off from your busy schedule, and take him into the classroom. Look around, admire any work he has done that is exhibited. Ask if you can sit in for a few minutes. Show him that you care about what he does and that this is so important for him and you want him to have the best.

I made a fatal error with my child at this age, and found out too late the teacher was a tyrant and was terribly mistreating my son and other children. Make sure there is no such problem here. don't take the teacher's word for it. Investigate, ask questions, talk to other parents. This teacher should know how to calm his fears. Saying he is not ready is hogwash. If she is a trained professional she will know he is old enough, and needs help adjusting.

good luck to you and don't be afraid to question teachers. They are not Gods. Speak truth to power and you will never be sorry.

Good luck and god bless you and your family.

Answer 3

I would keep reassuring him that he will be okay there and that you will always get him when school is over. Maybe let him carry a picture of you in his pocket so when he feels sad he can "give you a kiss". I would think that if you removed him from school now, next year he may act the same way b/c you gave in before, you know? Eventually he will adjust to it and it will be fine. Some kids take a lot longer to get used to new surroundings, and kindergarten is a brand new big place to him. If you know that he is academically ready for school don't hold him back, he will start to let go the more he's there. Good luck, I know how hard it can be to see your baby that upset :)

Answer 4

My daughter cried every day for two and a half months of her kindergarten year. She really missed me. I put a picture in her backpack of us, but that made her cry. Her friends were a great help, they hugged her when she would start to cry. I would come and have lunch with her once a week to help her get through the week. The lunch room really scared her. I also got her counseling, which helped a lot. Soon I could pick her up in the car pool line instead of walking in, and it was smiles instead of tears. You need an open dialog with the teacher and school councilor. Tell them your son is staying, but he is having a tough time adjusting to being away from you. It's normal, he loves you. They need to help you, it's their job to do the best for every child. Talk to the principal if you need to. Work day by day, and try not to cry in front of your child even though I bet you have left the school in tears before. Best of luck....

Answer 5

that doesnt mean hes not ready. hes just having seperation problems. thats perfectly normal, especially since he is in kindergarten and its probably the longest he has been around people he is unfamiliar with for a long period of time. in the day care i used to work at, even some 5 year olds cried towards the end of the year, after they've been there for 9 months. im sure it will get better as the year goes by. sometimes kids just have their bad days. maybe give him something to look forward to when he gets out. like if hes good and doesnt cry for a whole week, take him out for ice cream on friday after school, or something like that. that will encourage him not to cry.

Answer 6

Well my dear it seems that you are suffering from cases of seperation anxiety. Tell your teacher to do her homework before prejudging the kid( no judging the kid at all to be professional about it all.) It is natural. He is just getting use to the idea that you drop him off and for a few hours he will not see you until he is picked up. Ask him if he would like a picture of you to take to school with him to make him feel better. If not wake him up earlier and have a morning snack with him and tell him that he has to go to school because it is his job and he has to go to work so you can do your job. Give him an inncentitive. Tell him he will get a treat or go some where special if he has a good week. Then if you want tell the teacher to help him become more comfortable by allowing him to make a card to give you when you come and get him. Actually the age for Kindergarden is five unless their birthday is late. I am doing my student teaching with preschoolers and have found that separation anxiety occurrs at least age seven. It is not about him being ready because children are never ready for change.It is about making change easier to adjust to and finding ways to make that happen for them. It is not that he is not ready for school, it sounds like she does not want to do the work.

Answer 7

Its perfectly normal for him to have separation anxiety. The teacher is an idiot. maybe she should be held back! My son was the same way. This is what I did. Every day when i dropped him off I would kiss the palm of his hand and close his hand.I also put a heart stamp on his hand. Then I told him that the kiss was traveling into his heart and when he felt lonely or scared he could just look at his hand and remember my love and support was with him.I know it sounds cheesy but it worked!

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with holding him back! He's still a child. Let him be a kid while he can. He'll have 13 years of school later, not including college! Why rush it and push it all upon him when he's so young? However, it's up to you. If you really want him to go, then you'll just have to be firm and make him. Once he realizes you're serious and he has to listen, he'll start to get over it. Explain to him how he's growing up and all big kids, even daddy and mommy, had to go to school. It might make him feel big.

Answer 9

Leave him in school and get on with your life.
He may cry for a minute or two - but that's to be expected at his age. He will stop as soon as he's distracted with his friends. The teacher should not be teaching if she feels this way. Her job is to keep him busy and help him learn - not find excuses to not have him there.

Answer 10

In addition to talking to the teacher and to your son, and all of the other good suggestions that have been made, you could read "The Kissing Hand" about a little raccoon that goes to school and his mom kisses his hand every day. When he needs his mom, he holds his hand to his face and feels her kiss. You could also tuck notes in his lunchbox or backpack and have him keep a family picture iin his backpack. I was a little worried about my son this year, and then my mother-in-law reminded me that all of her kids (and all kids) will have great years with great teachers, and okay years with okay teachers. Not all teachers or academic experiences will be the very best, but you learn from each of them.