My crush has two kids!?

Question

There is this girl whom I know. I admit that I do have a crush on her and I have had it for the past 4 months. I like everything about her but she does have two kids ages 1 and 3. So for the most part I have not pursued anything probably because of that and the fact the she's a coworker. But she is beautiful inside and out! Her smile brightens up the room and she always does nice things for me like bringing me home cooked meals for lunch, She has a nurturing nature that I am very attracted to and shes cute. Lately Ive been having dreams about her and its really starting to get to me. What does it all mean? She told another coworker that I was cute but the thing is If I pursue her Im not sure if Im ready for 1 kid let alone 2. Insight anyone?

BTW she's 22,she's not married and she's single. She was dating a guy (didn't work), she said that she feels like no one would want to date her because of her kids so she does'nt know what the future holds. I told her not to think that way because she has so much to offer a man! This was about a month into the crush.

Answer 1

Ok, I'm sure to get a lot of thumbs down for this, oh well!

Listen to your wishy washy self. Leave this woman alone before you hurt her! You sound either much older than her or very immature for your age and appear judgmental. My reasoning is as follows:

Albeit a cute crush on a woman with children is admirable at the least, a 4 month crush to a beautiful woman both inside out " BUT" she has two kids, indicates a hesitancy which warrants taking some of the advice given here like having a long honest talk.

You admit you told her after she opened up to you she feels no one would date her because of the kids, YET, you tell her that's not true any man would love to date her. In your own admittance, you do not even feel comfortable dating her! She is nurturing in nature because she is taking care of her precious children and she is a real woman. She bring you home cooked meals because of hope and maybe because she can burn in the kitchen and proud of her culinary skills.

In a woman's mind that have children when a man, other than the kids father, gives her hope like that only to be hurt in the end because you just can't handle another man's children becomes bitter and scorn. That smile that brightens up the room will forever be turned upside down because of a flaky wishy washy guy that really need to identify his hidden agenda or ulterior motives!

If you are not out to get a single mom of two to take care of you sexually, financially, etc., then dump her as soon as your crush is over then I say go for it! You are one of a kind. I know it's hard to put all the details in your question, so ensure your honesty and sincerity prevails in reality!

Good Luck and hopefully I wasn't too harsh with a different perspective on your crush

Answer 2

Date her but don't bring the kids into the relationship yet. If she pressures you about the kids just let her know that you are trying to build a relationship with the 2 of you first. If things progress between the 2 of you the kids is an issue that you will have to address but perhaps you would feel more comfortable after a few months.

Answer 3

Forgive me in advance if I offend, I don't mean to. I had a girlfriend who was in your crushes position and unfortunately she married the guy who later totally started ignoring her kids, even more when she had his first. (I am not saying this is what you will do!) The moral, her kids are an extension of her and shouldn't be feared. Sometimes when you least expect it you not only fall in love with person but you learn to love their kids even more and believe me kids don't ask for much, they just want to be included and not feel left behind. So before you get too worked up, just take things slow spend some time with her doing simple stuff and when you think your ready meet kids. But for now just get to know her and keep in mind that if things do get serious her kids are as important as she is ...

Answer 4

When you said "But she has 2 kids" That answered it for me-your probably not ready for kids. You will also find you would be feeling second best as the kids will need more of her time at the most awkard moments too! Im a single dad to 1 & i honestly find that at times-i dont have time for a relationship. Kids are brilliant but you'l have to take them on as your own mentaly & join in opposed to sit on the side line & let the mother do it all.

Answer 5

Getting involved with someone with kids is tricky. The children are young and the father has to be around somewhere. She is right that it's harder for her to get involved with someone because she has kids.

I don't know. Yes, she's very nurturing but that is hopefully because the children bring that out in her and she's not using the home cooked meals to snag a man to help her out.

It's normal to have dreams about someone you like. You are very smart to not get involved with her for those two reasons. I wish you luck in finding someone else.

Answer 6

i'm a mother of two grown kids so i can relate to you,a lot of men don't want to date a woman with kids but they wouldn't mind sleeping with them,but you see it's a packages deal here the woman comes with the kids,so if you're not ready for this don't go into it,because it's only a crush ! this is serious business children are involve and you're already thinking the opposites of this so my advice to you is leave her a lone, you say you like her,if you really do and want the best for her and her kids leave her alone and let some-one who deserved her be their for her

Answer 7

Dear if you love her ,then go for it, its a package deal. shes a wonderful person and you will grow to love her 2 beautiful children. take cahnces in life or you will never know. she sounds like the dream women. she deserves to have a good man in her life that will love not only her but her children. if your not ready to be a father and family leave ehr alone or you may end up breaking her heart which she dont need or deserve.

Answer 8

For crush matters over her marriage and kids .

If that is case you have lot in to handle just crush is not the life of those kids . She can leave her husband and you also but kids will be the main .

Complex it looks importance is if you love her as you can not get over try talking to your self and even close one who gets to understand .

My advice you should focus on other things
this is case of interaction and she wants to understand you and same you. It is more of looks as you gel as u feel belongingness is there . Nope it is time when his husband should be doing this as she has to do job and interact with others. Marrying her is not good for either..

think your life in bigger perceptive.

What you do, do it in time frame .

Answer 9

I would not want to accept a sandwich for lunch if it meant giving up my identity to a woman who is looking for a "Daddy" for her two infant children. Think about it, she is cute and she brings you lunches, and you think she is just being a nice person. This babe is thinking of hooking you into raising her children, you had better be careful. You had better be sure that you do not go to bed with her and get her pregnant again or you will be stuck for life with THREE children, two of which are NOT your responsibility. Where is their Daddy, anyway?????

Answer 10

there isnt anything wrong with asking her out on a date.you may go out and find that you dont have much in common and not date again.her kids are a part of her life but they dont have to go on dates with you.if she pressures you to meet and spend time with her kids then she's looking for a daddy and that should be your cue to run.