I am currently engaged to a wonderful guy. However, my mother is intent on ruining my wedding. In the past she has ruined my birthday and even my baby shower by trying to pick fights with me as well as other people. She has already informed me that she is going to do something at my wedding. I love her but I'm not sure that I want her at my wedding. I want the day to go as smoothly as possible but how can it? I've been told that I should just get married at the courthouse but that's not the wedding that I want. What should I do?
2007-08-30 07:06:07 · 39 answers · asked by I'm a Mom :) 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sorry mom is a drama queen with issues. Perhaps you could hire a security guy/friend who will escort her out if she misbehaves and inform her of your intentions in advance. She can either agree to behave, or she doesn't come. I think that is fair. If she is saying in advance that she plans to cause a scene, then guess who won't be at your wedding? Mail her a video later. You don't have to tolerate her crap. If she can't behave herself, then she doesn't have to be there. It is your wedding--make it happen the way you want it to. Congratulations.
2007-08-30 07:10:21 · answer #1 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Lord.. what kind of mother would want to ruin the most important day of her daughter's wedding? Any other special moment? Tell her she won't be invited if she plans on starting trouble. If she promises not to, but starts it have someone else informed about the situation with her and have them escort her out of the wedding the moment she speaks up. Put an end to it as soon as it starts. Have two guys ready to jump when they see her begin. You have enough to worry about, you don't need any problems...especially from your own mother! Good luck and I hope things go smoothly for you.
2007-08-30 07:11:37 · answer #2 · answered by Paula D 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since you've been forewarned, you can either bar her from the event altogether - as in a security guard - or plan on it. In fact, go that extra step further and announce it at the ceremony and the reception.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, my mother, who has always ruined everything I love in this world is going to perform her very best temper tantrum for you in honor of this special day.
I'm kidding of course.
Have you ever asked her why she does this to you? And have you calmly informed her that given her attitude, she is not welcome at your wedding and will be unceremoniously escorted out if she even darkens the door?
How about a small, intimate ceremony at a romantic country inn with just a few of your closest friends - without her at all? OK so it wont' be the big go into debt pull out the stops bash you may THINK you want - but it will be peaceful, romantic, very sexy and above all, fight-free.
2007-08-30 07:18:12 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel very sorry for your mom. You are a nice person. A mother should be proud and be the most help full person to her daughter for the day every girl is looking forward.
It is your day and no one not even your mother should ruin this. I would talk to a close family member how would be willing to mediate between you and your mom. If everything fails. Don't tell her the date and have the best time at your dream wedding. I wish you the best and God's blessing.
2007-08-30 07:14:02 · answer #4 · answered by mamajoshua 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I'd try to find a way to get to the root of whatever problems she has with you! It sure seems like she has some major issues to do this to you or is she just an attention hound? I can't see anyway you can avoid the situation - are you sure you don't want her there? Think about not only the hurt and additional issues, but also what will she do in the future as retaliation for being left out of her daughters wedding?! Someone needs to find a way to reign her in.
2007-08-30 07:13:43 · answer #5 · answered by Cory C 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First thing first. This is YOUR WEDDING NOT HERS! Have the wedding you want and can afford. Don't let any one ruin it. Sit down and have a talk to her and ask her what she is planning. Tell her you don't want any surprises and ask her to be good. Just say what you would like her to do and make it clear nicely what you don't want her to do. But don't think you don't want her there, it will cause major problems and you will regret it later. After all, she is your mum so you can work it out. Just be firm but polite in what you do and don't want. Remind her it's not her day, it's yours and she has no right to hijack it!!
2007-08-31 00:49:42 · answer #6 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that you should find a way for her not to attend your wedding. You shouldn't feel bad about it either because she is the one exibiting the bad behavior and she will be the one to regret it some day not you.
It's sad that she has put you in this situation, it really would be better if she did not go then maybe you can relax a bit and enjoy your day.
I had similar issues with my sister, I inivited her but she didn't show up and I figure it was probably a blessing!
Good luck!
2007-08-30 13:13:47 · answer #7 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you elope and have a small private ceremony somewhere on a tropical beach? Or even on a cruise ship. Then just send out wedding announcements after the fact.
Inviting a bunch of people to your wedding, but not your mother, is asking for trouble.
2007-08-30 07:15:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you know your Mom is going to mess it up, don't invite her. Have some of your big male friends make sure she doesn't crash your dream wedding. Tell her that you wish you could invite her but since she has made a habit of ruining the once in a life time events in your life, you can't have her there to ruin this one.
It is your special day, enjoy it.
2007-08-30 07:10:55 · answer #9 · answered by Go Bears! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have two options: one, you can plan your wedding and invite your mom. Talk to someone--your aunt, sister,maid of honor, or your wedding planner--about your mom, and enlist their help. Explain what you consider inappropriate. If your mom crosses that line, your friend/relative will be ready to distract her or pull her away with a firm "I need your help in another room NOW." If alcohol makes the problem worse, you might consider having a "dry" wedding.
Or you can sit down with your mom and say "look, I love you, but you are not invited to my wedding because you've demonstrated cannot control yourself in these situations. I want to have happy memories of my wedding and I want to have happy memories of the time I spend with you. If you're going to pick fights with me, that won't happen. I hate to not invite you, but I don't know anything else to do."
Good luck.
2007-08-30 07:26:25 · answer #10 · answered by July 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋