1)When they ask, "Can I talk to you about God?" Reply, "Sure, what would you
like to know?"
2)Answer the door with a bloody knife and say, "I'm sorry, could you come back
in a half hour? We're not done with the virgin yet."
3)Answer the door with an automatic weapon and say 'Allah be Praised!
2007-08-30 07:01:54 · 26 answers · asked by Queen Latifah 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
4)Ask them for their address. When they ask why you want it, claim that you want
to appear on their doorstop univited so that you can peddle your own beliefs.
5)Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.
6)Tell them you already have your own religion. When they ask what it is, wince
a little before confessing, "er, I'm not sure if it's legal in this country.
7)A chalk outline of a human body on the pavement, and a few copies of "The
Watchtower" scattered around...
8)Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?" This
might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to leave.
9)Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the Forty-two children.
10)Invite them in to see your fine collection of dinosaur fossils.
2007-08-30 07:03:22 · update #1
printed & put up by the front door
who said we don't have them in england?
i was at my mates house in middle of nowhere (nearest neighbour 1 1/2 miles away) on Boxing Day & two of the c***s turned up ON FOOT.
thanx dagger
2007-08-30 09:46:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I usually say 'Thank God you've called. Now we can arrange for you to come with me to my church and be saved. Such a shame that so many people fall for that Jehovah's Witness stuff and the devil's works they preach. You really do need to come with me. When shall we say? Next Sunday? Where can we meet before the service? You've really got to meet our minister, he's saved so many Witnesses including, believe it or not, me. I used to be as brainwashed as you are until I saw the light. Now let's not waste time discussing the Bible, yours has been changed anyway but I'm not really qualified yet so I'd rather just talk about your salvation. Can you bring any other Witnesses? What about your family and friends? Can you get them to come as well?"
Usually they can't wait to get away, but if they don't ask them for a firm commitment to meet on the Sunday and attend your church.
2007-08-30 07:19:13 · answer #2 · answered by quatt47 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Adherents of the 'Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses' sometimes tell similar jokes themselves, and appreciate that others connect them so closely with the door-to-door ministry established by Christ Jesus himself.
http://watchtower.org/e/jt/index.htm?article=article_04.htm
(Matthew 10:7,11,14) As you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of the heavens has drawn near.’ ...Into whatever city or village you enter, search out who in it is deserving... Wherever anyone does not take you in or listen to your words, on going out of that house or that city shake the dust off your feet.
It is good that this "question" appropriately appears in the category "Jokes & Riddles".
http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/?sid=396546041
2007-08-30 10:28:17 · answer #3 · answered by achtung_heiss 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Their good,my father let them in one time because he didn't want to be rude and they come back all the time now. It's gotten to the point where were like the Jehovahs are here, turn the lights off, act like were not home!
2007-08-30 07:17:13 · answer #4 · answered by farmergyrl23 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those are good! I usually tell them I'm an agnostic, and they better show me proof He exists before they start talking. Telling them you're an atheist doesn't work; it just makes them try to convert you more.
P.S. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. Just don't go peddling it door-to -door and try to force your viewpoint on others.
2007-08-30 07:13:56 · answer #5 · answered by Laying Low- Not an Ivy Leaguer 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have used 1) a few times and done various things including dripping paint on one guy's shoes. Very effective.
2007-09-01 02:21:53 · answer #6 · answered by Buzz s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know those are all fun ways to get rid of them, and my dad likes to have fun when getting rid of the mormans. He trys to convert them to christian. They come over and tells them that they can have a discussion on it and they debate over it and then they eventually say that they got to go to other houses. HA...well I just tell them that I am a different religion and I am quite satisfied with it, thanks anyways, and goodbye...unless they want to try out my church!
2007-08-30 11:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by Savannah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's also funny to answer the door and say "Oh good, you know anything about exorcisms?" then have someone cursing in the background. "your mother sucks cocks in hell!" "Sorry about Grandma she's not used to company."
2007-08-30 07:52:47 · answer #8 · answered by Limestoner62 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just tell them if they will give me the " first fifteen minutes" to introduce them to Jesus.. Then They can
talk to me. Needless to say, They leave Immediately.
2007-08-30 07:25:53 · answer #9 · answered by minnetta c 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have tried most of them hehehe good one
Have a star
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2007-08-30 09:17:13 · answer #10 · answered by tastybits 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋