Army dad, with baby pt. 2, mothers side?

Question

ok scenerio:
husband and wife married for about 7 mo. gets preg.(planned)
couple goes back home to visit family on leave.
everything is fine until time to go back to duty station.
husband HAS to report back at a certain time. Depature time comes and wife is nowhere to be found. Finds a letter that shes leaving him! He is active duty so what does he do? His only options are a)take the baby back with him (impossible considering no child care lined up) or b)leave him with a relative temporary until the divorce is final. Wife has no concern to uphold custody for the child at this time. Father is more than willing to change his life 4 the child.

Question: what if by chance the wife(ex) decides to come back in the picture and wants to a) remarry and start there life again b) get custody of there child or c) petition for joint custody and also remarry. what are her odds? pertaining that the father is also willing to rework things out givin that he was honorably discharged from the army

Answer 1

Why would someone take that person back that left a baby and a note? What if you take her back and then you get deployed? Is she going to do the same thing again and leave the child in a daycare and run? She apparently can't handle military life.

Do what Dan suggested in the previous posting. Dad does not have to leave the child with someone during the divorce. Just leave the child with a trusted caregiver, go back to base and set up daycare there, then bring the child home.

As I said in the earlier posting, The situation looks hard now, but once the initial shock wears off and he starts to get things settled, it will get easier. There are alot of single moms in the military that do it, why can't a dad do the same thing.

Let him know not to do anything rash. Go back, talk to command, come up with a game plan. After all his options are put before him, take a few days to think about each one and go with the one he feels is best.

In a way, it seems like someone is making this harder than it needs to be.

Let us know what happens.

Answer 2

First, I think ANY advice given here should be taken with a frain of salt (even from me) and you should ABSOLUTELY see an attorney to back any legal advice. Period.

With that said... you should definately petition for full custody of the child while the mother is absent so that it shows she has no interest in raising the child. I would also call the absent mother and figure out WTF is going on with her.

I am keen on second chances.... but the mother is showing immaturity and it is not conducive to the development of a child to have a parent who didn't even want him/her and then come back and decide they want to be a parent when it's convenient for them. When it comes to raising a child, there are no second chances to me. But that's just me.

I think that you need to decide what's more important to you: raising your child in a healthy environment full of love, trust, and support, OR taking Mom back and HOPING that she has changed. To me, again... a deal breaker. No second chance in my opinion.

This actually sounds like a pretty serious manner and I would consider counseling and legal advice.

Best of luck to you.