I don't want to kill his heart but I know in my heart we are not meant to be. Too many dealbreakers. I have never ended a relationship before. Please help!!!!
2007-08-30 06:09:25 · 43 answers · asked by stargazerlilly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I was dumped 3 weeks ago by my fiance. We were supposed to get married this October. The best advice I can give you is to be honest with yourself and with him. Sit him down and tell him how you're feeling. My ex-fiance just simply told me he was no longer "In-love" with me but still loves and cares for me very much.
If you feel in your heart and your gut you're not meant to be, he'll understand. It will hurt at first, I will tell you that much-but after a few weeks the hurting will go away. Just listen to your heart, you have to do what's best for you in this type of situation. Would you honestly want to marry someone and then turn around and get divorced after a month of being married?
Hope this helps!
Good Luck!
2007-08-30 06:16:21 · answer #1 · answered by Dani W 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Deal breakers mean things you cannot and will not live with. They are absolutely not compromisable. These are the things that need to be brought up when talking with him about why you cannot continue the relationship...strictly those things. Don't get side-tracked and start mentioning a whole other long list of things that didn't really matter or you will break his whole sense of self-dignity. If he gets persistent about changing those things or whatnot, don't get caught up in that. Simply state you think those things you mentioned are enough reason and that's pretty much a bottom-line decision you've come to.
2007-08-30 06:34:46 · answer #2 · answered by V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set down with him and lay it on the line. Be honest about your feelings and be prepared to back them up with examples and why you feel the way you do.
If you are having these feelings now imagine what it would be like if you were to get married and the pain it could cause in a break up in the long run.
I have been married for 19 years and have never had these feelings but I can imagine what it is like and what it would feel like now.
Honesty never hurt a sole.
Good luck.
2007-08-30 06:16:00 · answer #3 · answered by Pat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you can be honest and tell him the truth. Stop and think how you would want to be told. I know its not easy to break up with someone, especially if you have agreed to marry him. I applaud you for not just going through with it and being miserable. Explain that to him. Tell him that you are not wholeheartedly into marry him and that you care enough about him to not continue the relationship. Later down the line it will just be harder to do and you want to save both of you time and heartache.
2007-08-30 06:20:45 · answer #4 · answered by LISA F 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your truth to him, IT WILL KILL his HEART, how could you let this escalate to an engagement knowing that you are not meant to be. You should have said no when you had the chance, now he will have to tell all of his family, friends that its OFF. What a piece of work you are, he will be better off without you.
2007-08-30 06:15:42 · answer #5 · answered by sirmrmagic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try to explain that after careful consideration that you feel you may be rushing things a bit. He may consider extending your engagement until you are certain. This is a very big and important decision for both of you to make, so be very careful. Hopefully he will understand and will be willing to comply. Best of luck to both of you. Better safe than sorry.
2007-08-30 06:22:11 · answer #6 · answered by Ron J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
theres no easy way out now , you have taken it too far just by getting engaged , you are technically lying to him by breaking a promise of marriage represented by that engagement ring you both wear , sorry to get deep but i was to be married once a long time ago and one day 3 weeks before our wedding i came home from work to find her crying ,,,, all she could say was sorry , im so sorry again and again and again "WHAT" are you so sorry about i kept asking because she was an emotional wreck , " i cant marry you johnny boy " we are too young and the time just isnt right for us " i cried all night that night , she never came back from her parents house , things got messy after that , ( i could type about it for hours ) but thats the basics of my experience,,i sold the house and cars moved jobs and eventually countries , i respect her now i am over it all with a whole new life , i respect her for BEING HONEST ;)
2007-08-30 06:13:24 · answer #7 · answered by insenergy 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Braking up is never easy but you must tell him the truth. I think if you told him a lie it would just be worse if he found out. People grow apart and the importance of life is happiness. I think if he really loves you he will understand and start a new life.
2007-08-30 06:16:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
While it will hurt like the dickens... the best way is to just sit them down and tell them straight out.
Tell them your reasons (not excuses). Use "I" statements. Own the reasons why you are terminating your relationship. Stand your ground. Then.. once the crying is over. Give them a kiss and leave.
2007-08-30 06:14:50 · answer #9 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only thing I would tell you is that you should definitely tell him soon because the longer you wait the more you will hurt his feelings. Also he is going to be hurt whether you want him to hurt or not. So be strong and tell him now, so he doesn't make to many life long plans with you in them.
2007-08-30 06:15:56 · answer #10 · answered by BeezyBlondie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋