My fiancee' and I are in the middle of planning our wedding and would like to give attendees the opportunity to give the gift of money for the refurbishing of our house in lleu of traditional wedding gifts. How do you ask for something like this without sounding rude? Is there a creative way to ask?
2007-08-30 04:18:20 · 33 answers · asked by mod girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
dont let anyone knock you down. although it would come off rude to the people receiving the request, it's definately not unheard of to want money as a gift. People are living together more and more before their weddings. When you move and have a housewarming you get a lot of the gifts that you would normally register for at a wedding.
I dont think you should ask for money, but I also dont think you should register unless you are having a bridal shower. If that's the case, focus on the finished projects of the rooms you are doing. Say you are doing the bathroom in the future, well pick out all new shower curtain, rings, etc. Or the same for the kitchen, maybe a new table or barstools or dishes or glasses. But only focus on the room you want and then be done. When people see that you didnt register for much they will automatically turn to money. That way nobody is insulted.
Another idea is if you mention it casually to yours and his parents... alot of time people call the couples parents for ideas and its not rude coming from them. haha
good luck
2007-08-30 04:44:19 · answer #1 · answered by Pretty Blues 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Instead of asking for straight out asking for money (which WILL be seen as rude by some of your guests), register at Home Depot or Lowe's. You could also spread word throughout the family that you're remodeling and don't need the "normal" or "traditional" wedding gifts. This will actually prompt more people to give you money without having to ask for it. It will even get people to give you gift cards so you can get what you want at the stores.
Good luck!
2007-08-30 05:03:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hugely rude and extraordinarily tacky. Even though some people here are saying it's fine, enough are saying that it's not that you should realize that's about how people will react to your invitation. Emily Post (etiquette lady) recommends not giving anything and skipping the event when a "wish list" is included in an invitation. Just let people give you what they want. If they ask, you can say a gift card to home depot or something.
2007-08-30 04:39:02 · answer #3 · answered by gumby 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should never mention anything about gifts or money in your invitations. It is not proper wedding ettiquet. Most people will give you gifts for your bridal shower. However, for the actual wedding most people give money. I have never given an actual gift for a wedding present. It has always been money the day of the wedding. Most people realize that you would rather have the money. My suggestion is to mention to as many of your friends and family that you two would prefer money to put towards your house. This way they can mention it to whoever else. Word gets around. Best wishes.
2007-08-30 04:26:42 · answer #4 · answered by LadyD1019 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you already know what you want to redo in your home, then register at places like Home Depot. You can put anything on there from lumber and sheet rock, to appliances and lights. If you only register there, most people will get the hint and get you a gift card or the things you actually need. You will also have the luxury of buying things when they go on sale (like labor day sale). You can use the cash you get at the wedding to help pay for contractors or any other extra stuff.
2007-08-30 04:55:00 · answer #5 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is always rude to ask for any gift as you probably heard. The only proper way is to tell people if asked. You can also let those closest to you know your preference and have it spread word of mouth.
You have to take a passive role when it comes to gift, anything else is poor etiquette and seems to make your invite come with strings attached.
Everyone expects gift but your guest should not feel obligated.
2007-08-30 05:05:38 · answer #6 · answered by no_frills 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is always inappropriate to mention money in the invitation, but I think you already know this. You cant mention anything unless someone asks, then you can mention a registry (Home Depot gift cards) or you can say "Well we are planning to remodel our home after the wedding.There are just things that need to be updated." A lot of people do give money these days, anyway.
2007-08-30 04:38:30 · answer #7 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you can't do that politely b/c its just plain rude. Gifts are a nice perk of getting married, not a right. You can't dictate what people do with their time and hard earned money. They don't have to give you anything, but if they do decide to then you graciously accept it and be honored that they thought enough of you to bring something, money or not.
Believe me I understand, we bought a MAJOR fixer-upper shortly before our wedding, where some people have bad flooring ours seriously had NO flooring at all, just concrete slab....and as much as it would have been great to have a whole bunch of extra cash to help out fixing it up, it still is rude to specify what people can and can't give you.
my best advice is to not register and when people ask explain your situation politely, and suggest money or lowe's or home depot cards or something like that that you could use. have bridemaids and family spread the word, but DON'T put it in writing on invites, thats beyond tacky (remember, invites are to ask someone to celebrate your union, not solicit gifts!) Word of mouth is DEFINETLY the ONLY way to go in this situation!
2007-08-30 05:18:22 · answer #8 · answered by ASH 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
NOOO.
No no and NO.
You don't ask for gifts. Leave alone, demanding cash.
Never put such requests on paper. Leave it to your wedding partu to spread the info by word of mouth.
Do not register for anything and people will get the hint. Most people give cash as a gift anyway.
Asking for cash on the invitation is crass and very rude.
Good luck
2007-08-30 04:40:01 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hahahahahahahahaaaaaa.....
Too funny.
YES, that's rude, no matter what kind of spin you put on it!!! WOW. And NO there's no "creative" way to ask for people to open up their wallets and just dump them in your laps.
Its YOUR house, YOU finance the remodel. If some of your guests are kind enough to give you monetary gifts, then feel free to spend the cash however you want. JEEPERS.
2007-08-30 04:31:33 · answer #10 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋