What is the best way to handle rejection?

Question

Let me start with I have an irrational fear of rejection.

I want to ask this girl out, but I think she might say no. In the past I have used the fear of rejection as a way to psychic myself out of asking girls out, I really want to stop that. I think I am afraid that I will look stupid so I usually wait too long to ask the girl out.

Please do not say “the worst that could happen is she says no.” The very first girl I ever asked out laughed at me in front of all my friends saying “HELL NO!!” So while my fear of rejection is irrational it is not unfounded.

Also please do not say “just get over it and do it.” If I could do that my fear would not be irrational. I am working on the how to deal with the fear.

I just want to know what do I say after she says ‘no,’ how do I play it ‘cool?’

Any help would be appreciated?

Answer 1

Best way to handle a rejection is to be prepared for a negative response before an approval one.

Not being pessmistic but being flexibly aware of two possiblities so as not to be bent drastically and get a shock.

Good luck, no one dies after any true trial but what kills us is our inner surrender.

Answer 2

1. Try very hard not to take it personally. If this is your first time asking her out and she says not, just tell yourself it's not a big deal, because you know you'd make a good boyfriend, and she judged too soon, so too bad for her she'll never know!

2. Realize that rejection is a part of life, albeit a hard one. We've all been rejected... even the hotties and supermodels in Hollywood get rejected... just because you're not for someone, does not mean you're not for anyone... and the more you get used to the fact that it probably will happen, the less you'll be afraid of it, and the less it will happen!

3. Please realize that the "Hell No" girl had MAJOR issues. My gosh! I've had to say no to a date before, but never NEVER have I used this method. It is tactless, dumb, and shows that she has no manners and is most likely a b****. So, seriously... please don't take her remarks personally. She sounds pretty ignorant and immature.

4. Just keep asking. After a couple of yesses and a couple of no's you'll start developing thicker skin... which is a good thing!

Good luck:-)

Answer 3

Derek, first, all of us have had to suffer rejection---it is just a fact of life, and..all of us will probably fail again sometime in life. If you dont try, you wont know---think of the most successful person you know (celebrity?)--they would not be there if they did not try....and I am sure...they have been told "no" somewhere along the line.

Think of the girl who said "hell no" as someone you didnt want because the girl clearly did not have manners! You probably missed a pack of trouble! Keep trying, but make educated and well-thought thru decisions---ask a girl out if you see good qualities--not just physical appearance--but that is important too. Ask if you see a returned interest and good luck. Nice guys are not last, remember that!

Answer 4

Confidence is key here...even if it's phony confidence. You may have to trick yourself into thinking you're as confident as they come. As far as the girl that laughed at you in front of all your friends...don't ask people out in front of your friends. Make it a one on one thing. That way...if she does happen to say no...it's just the two of you that has to know about it. You don't want an audience. Now...don't just go up to a girl and ask if you can take her out. This takes time. Say hello when you see her...start casual conversation with her. You can't be rejected just for talking to her...and if she does act like she's not interested...then you can save yourself the trouble. After a couple days of talking to her...say, "Would you mind if I took your number so I could give you a call sometime??" There's no harm in that. Everyone has everyone's cell phone number now!! PLUS...that gets you one step closer to being in!! Good luck!!

Answer 5

Rejections is a common occurance in life. If you cant handle it, you wont make it very far. I am in sales and take rejection on a daily basis. just get back on the horse and find a different gal. If she doesnt want to go out, you cant force it. It wasnt meant to be.

Answer 6

well.. you gotta understand that when you get rejected she didn't turn you into some little twerp who can't take rejection. show that you're okay when she says no. say something like, it's all good and laugh it off. you need to get over this fear!! i did, so you can too. you have one life to live, and if i was living life in somebody elses' shoes i would tell that guy to for it. and that guy is you! so go for it!

Answer 7

Nothin you can do man, it just takes time. And who cares about that girl, there are inconsiderate people in the world that would do that to people but not everybody is like that. Dont break down crying if she says no, just say "thats too bad" well maybe another time. Thats what I do anyway

Answer 8

All you can say, really, is 'Well Ok, thanks, just thought I'd give it a shot. Have a great day/night/life", then smile and walk away. You don't want a beyatch that treats anybody poorly like the one you described. Just remember, girls can smell desperation a mile away. We seem to like the guys who are just a little beyond reach. Good luck to you!

Answer 9

who needs to play it cool? your great just how you are, if she is not interested and wants to be a B*tch and be mean, then just laugh at her and walk away.

dont let fear run your life. you have no reason to be afraid.

my personal motto is this "it is not the first time I have ever heard the word NO, and it wont be the last"

Dont fret, just do what you have to do!

(ask her with confidence for the win!)

Answer 10

Just say okay thanks
Worst thing to do is say "why" it will make you seem deperate
The best way the handle it is to move on and find another girl
When you get used to rejection it isnt that bad

Hope i have helped x