For the life of me?

Question

I can't get my almost 3 year old to potty train. She will sit on the potty and do nothing. She can sit there all day and nothing she'll just say done, wipe and flush.

I have just put her in underwear because she doesn't care if she is wet., so the pullups aren't working for her. She goes through 14 undies a day . She even asks to go potty. We will be in the store or doing something and she says I have to go potty. But she doesn't.

I have tried the reward system, and letting her watch her 5 year old sister and myself, I have done everything I can and nothing works. She is in her room throwing a fit because she wants an M&M and I won't give her one because she didn't potty on the potty.

Any tips would be grately appreciated.

She is ready, because she can pull her pants up and down. She knows when she has to go. She asks to go, but just doesn't want to go after getting her there. So I know she is ready, she is just stubborn.

Answer 1

Keep her naked for a while. That could help. That whole "its too early" BS is not true. Children are ready to potty train when they first show interest in you going potty. Giving up and trying later is just easier for the parent than finishing the job.

I dont know, without knownig how potty training started its hard to tell how she ended up with this vice.

Answer 2

As frustrating as it may be you're just going to have to sit back for a while and not stress about it. The more you stress and push the more she will fight potty training. My friend went through this with her son. They use to have huge problems getting him to potty train. She even took him to three different doctors to see if there was anything wrong with him and they all said the same thing..back off, relax and he'll do it himself. She finally took their advice and one day he just started using the toilet. Because of her stress and pushing (and I'm not saying that you're stressed and pushy) my friend's little boy was 4 1/2 years old and a few weeks from starting school before he was potty trained.

I suggest keep doing what you're doing. Keep the potty in sight at all times. Keep her in underwear and keep up with positive feedback. She'll use the potty when she's ready..which probably won't be long at all.

Answer 3

I don't think she is ready. I mean, I read your reasons on why you think she is, but the fact is, if she were truly ready, you wouldn't be putting that "she doesn't care if she is wet." That's kind of the most important ways to know she's ready, when she DOES care if she's wet or not.

She's going through the actions, apparently wants to, but I don't think she's actually ready to yet. She's interested in the potty, which is a big step, but I don't think she's interested in the potty-training itself. She seems to be treating the toilet like a cool chair, not for its intended purpose.

She doesn't even seem to understand the real concept of the reward system. If she did, she'd not be throwing a fit for her M&M when she didn't go.

And going through the amount of undies she's going through a day, it doesn't even sound like she truly realizes when she needs to go.

It's not uncommon for kids to want to immitate older siblings, classmates at daycare, parents, and the general public and want to "go potty", but it isn't related in any way to actually needing to urinate or have a bowel movement. My extended family all got together this weekend at my moms, and my little two-year-old niece said all weekend long that she needed to go to the potty, usually within minutes of my boys or one of her other older cousins going. She never once urinated or defecated in the toilet.

If she were truly ready, you'd be having more success than you are right now. It wouldn't be incredibly easy, probably, but that's enough "accidents" to not be accidents at all, ya know?

I would say, put up the panties for another month or two. Put her in pullups for a little while. Typically, I wouldn't suggest using them, and I still wouldn't use them for very long. But she is at least interested in the potty, even if she's not got the idea of how it works yet, and you want to encourage that. Once she gets down to having fewer accidents, put her in panties again.

When she says she needs to go, even if history tells you she probably doesn't, take her anyway. If, by chance, she does go on the potty, REALLY REALLY REALLY make a BIG deal out of it, to say YES, that's what you're supposed to do on the potty!!!

To also show her what she's supposed to do on the potty, when she has a bowel movement in her diaper/pullup, take her by the hand into the bathroom and shake it out into the toilet. Then have her flush and wash her hands like she would if she went to the potty.

Also, when you're running bathwater, put her on the potty. The running water can help move the stream along. If she does pee in the potty, of course, make a BIG deal out of it to let her know that's right.

Be patient. She's still young, and she'll get it. She's off to a good start just by liking sitting on the potty. The more time she spends on it, the more likely it is she'll actually go at some point.

Answer 4

ahhhh, the memories are flooding back to me, oh the horror,lol...Potty training my son was a total nightmare! I started when he was three but it was a disaster. My advice is to stop for a bit, she is probably just as fustrated as you are at not getting this whole potty business down. I stopped for a month and in effect just started over. I let him wear only underwear during the day and when he was wet then I would immediately take him to go sit on the potty and I told him next time if he feels like he needs to pee pee that if he runs to the potty I'll give him a cool treasure ( yes, thats right, I bribed him lol) It took a while for him to get it down pact and he still had to wear a diaper at night but with in a week he was potty trained. I sincerely believe it was because he wasnt ready when I first tried and I was rushing him. I know your fustrated but she will get it eventually, I promise! Good luck!

Answer 5

You may think she is ready but she isn't. A lot of kids can pull their pants up and down it doesn't mean anything. My son will be 3 next month and I was always worried he would never learn to go potty. After a lot of wet beds, wet underwear and getting upset, the day finally came when he said he had to go and actually went in the toilet. The biggest thing is not to get upset, don't ever yell at her and just stick with it. Keep asking her " do you have to go potty?" If she says yes you have to commit to leaving her on the toilet for at least 20minutes. If she drinks juice or water take her to the bathroom an hour or so later for 20minutes. It's hard and you will get tired of it but trust me it pays off. She will get tired of you making her sit there and she will finally go so that you'll pull her off the toilet.

Answer 6

here's a tip! wake her up in the morning and put her on the potty first thing. make her sit there until she goes. then just continue bringing her every 30 minutes or so and make her sit there a minute or two. i personally don't think it matters whether she wears panties or pullups during this time. my daughter was trained at 26 months and within a month she has totally trained herself and goes all by herself without being reminded. and we didn't really do rewards either. just stickers every now and then, especially for bms which took the longest but she has finally mastered! a good thing to do is just to try to "help" her train herself! good luck!

Answer 7

The thing with kids is no matter how hard you try, they will go when they are ready. I know you don't want to here this, but I found it to be true. What helped my son is I enrolled him in preschool, and they worked with him, and he noticed all the other kids were doing it, so he wanted to. But I also remember my stepdaughter, and she was 4 1/2 years old before she was fully pottied trained with no more accidents at night. It just depends on your child. Don't stress yourself out over it. You're doing the right thing by letting her know how it is supposed to be done, and working with her.

Answer 8

It sounds like she still has not made the mental connection. between going and feeling like she needs to go. Try describing the feeling before you go potty. She just doesn't seem to get it. My almost 3 granddaughter just says no. She will go poopy but not pee. She says she likes her diaper. She can't have a sleepover with grandma until she is out of diapers - still says no. Some kids just are not ready.

Answer 9

my guess is she isn't ready yet. stop. go back to the pull-ups. let her go with you & her sister to the potty. once she realizes what's really suppose to happen-she might pick it up. potty training is hard. they aren't gonna do it until they are ready. no matter when her sister did it. her body will tell her when she's ready. so stop for a bit and then try again.

good luck

Answer 10

take her every 30 mins to start then every hour she will get the hang of it when she is ready you just have to be patient.