2007-08-30 04:00:39 · 24 answers · asked by indiansbearsandangels 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
ok - the wedding is in the end of October. She claims to have got the dress..but I havn't seen it yet.
The lie was: my fiance and I are paying for the wedding on our own. And since we have 4 teenagers together..the extra cash is not great. So we were going to go for a loan to pay for the wedding. She claims infront of the entire wedding party that she was going to give us the money from her inheritence for a wedding present..we said no, but rather take it as a loan.
She verified all of this once again two weeks ago, and said that she would be getting the draw from the bank, then said that she had to wait another week.
Then came back down to do wedding stuff and threw it in my other bridesmaids that she was doing this and blah blah..and we were to go shopping right that second and just float the checks.(I don't do that, so that didn't happen thank god!) But the money would be here this past Saturday. She was supposed to come Sunday, didn't, and now won't answer my calls
2007-08-30 04:26:23 · update #1
I spoke with her sister yesterday, and turns out that she never got an inheritance!!!
She bragged and put us down that her family bought a house...and we only live in a duplez....the truth is that they got evicted and now living with her inlaws.
2007-08-30 04:29:51 · update #2
THE WHOLE POINT OF THE QUESTION WAS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY - I DIDN'T WANT HER MONEY - SHE PUSHED THE ISSUE...THAT IS THE ONLY POINT! AND TURNS OUT THAT THERE IS NO MONEY - ANOTHER POINT!
YES I HAVE A JOB - YES WE HAVE MONEY FOR THE WEDDING - BUT THE FRILLY STUFF IS EXTRA....AND WAS NOT ORIGANIALLY IN THE BUDGET... LIKE A WATERFOUNTAIN, AND LIMO, UPGRADES ON THE RINGS... THE MONEY IS NOT THIS ISSUE...
2007-08-30 05:23:59 · update #3
I would simply say "it hurt that you gave me false hope. The money is not the issue, but doing that was cruel. Please consider yourself out of my wedding."
Extra credit if you add "...and my life" to the end.
Mad props to you for funding your own shindig, incidentally...and for wanting it to be a loan instead of an outright gift. You're 1,000,000 percent more adult than most of these self-entitled queen-for-a-day all-about-me harridans I see in this area of YA. Best wishes for a long and happy life together.
2007-08-30 05:58:28 · answer #1 · answered by Bill 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, she obviously is either a pathological liar, or not the friend that you thought she was.
On the other hand, if you do not have the money to pay for the type of wedding you want - you shouldn't rely on other people's word, or borrow other people's money, to fufill your needs. If you can't get a bank loan, then you either need to have a smaller ceremony, or wait.
There is no side to take here, you were both in the wrong. You need to re-think the whole thing.
Have a good day.
2007-08-30 12:57:57 · answer #2 · answered by Starry Eyes 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What did they lie about?
That is the most important detail. It really depends on what they lied about.
Edit: OK I see what she lied about. I understand that is frustrating and all, but ignoring that, is she a good friend? Can you rely on her? Or is she always all talk and no action? Have you seen a receipt for the dress? Find out where she "got" it and see if she actually did get it from there or not.
Sounds like a "no" to being able to rely on her. I would sit down and have a serious discussion with her.
Also, I know "its not about the money" but never EVER take any loan out with a friend, don't lend money to a friend nor ask a friend to loan any money.
2007-08-30 11:20:37 · answer #3 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I think that it would all depend what the lie was. If it was somethng little that has to do with gossip then it's no big deal. I guess it all depends on how big the lie was. If it really hurt you and its something that can't be forgiven then ask her not to be in the wedding. Just remind that this is a special day and you don't want to have any regrest with who is there and who isn't. If you want this person out simply tell them.
2007-08-30 11:04:43 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
U need to talk to her, u and your fiancee and find out why she did what she did and tell her that since she did lie to u u are replacing her at the wedding and she may come if she wants but she will be a guest only and try and repair this relationship or u will end up hurt worse if u dont straighten this out now...
2007-08-30 13:39:16 · answer #5 · answered by THE UK WILDCAT FAMILY 10 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on what the lie was, how long you have been friends, and how close to your wedding the ceremony is,
have they already paid for their dress?
You need to also remember that is you kick her out, she can Sue you for reimbursement of her expenses.
If i were you, i would shut up and forget about it,
you must have had a good reason to ask her into your bridal party in the first place, Don't make drama about this,
Learn how to forgive,and be compassionate,
this is a gift lots of adults have, and excersize it daily
specially when you have children.
meg
2007-08-30 11:11:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends on the lie. If they'd told me they would try their best at being a good member of the wedding party and ended up not doing anything to contribute, yes I'd kick that person out. However, if it was a little white lie, I'd let it slip.
EDIT: Wow, after reading that, she doesn't deserve to be in your party. Kick her to the curb and never think about her again. How rude to lead you on like that!
2007-08-30 11:06:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the lie, and I'd have to be pretty sure I wanted nothing further to do with the person at all, because something like that would probably end the friendship...we opted for no bridal party at all to avoid any potential drama.
2007-08-30 11:13:44 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she lied, she was trying to control the whole wedding, she planned her wedding real close to mine, she made crazy demands and fought over ever detail of my wedding..... My bridesmaid got completely out of control and I just called her and left her a message- Sorry but you need to step down. There's been some crazy email and phone stalking drama after I did it and it ended the friendship but for me it was worth it.
Sometimes high stress events like wedding show you who your real friends are!
Oh and I guess I should mention- she didn't pick up her phone after 5 calls so I just left a message which was eaiser for me in the long run.
2007-08-30 11:07:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Its not a good idea to borrow money from friends, generally. And it doesnt sound like she has good spending habits. Dont take this the wrong way, but I wouldnt have a wedding that I didnt have upfront cash for. So its probably better that she and her money are out of the picture.
2007-08-30 11:29:36 · answer #10 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋