she is A PRISONER in her life w/him he goes 2 her dr app. sets them up fills out the questoins 4 her.. he just down grades her whem they are 2gther. I want her 2 leave but she is afraid to becase she loves him and think it will hurt him!!
I think he is starting to be physcally vciolent to her , he is already emotionally violent!! he shows her pictures of him w/other girls and he is kissin on them and more .
on top of all this he tells her she is fat and a whore ect.. all the time i want her to leave but how to get her to !?
2007-08-30 03:51:10 · 22 answers · asked by Misty j 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I appreciate your concern, but she is the one that has to do it. you need to be there for your sis, to do not to constantly convince her to leave him, that actually can make her want to stay more, but you try to keep her happy, and he will obviously keep her unhappy, show her through example how happy she can be and the she will not want to stay in such a bad relationship.
2007-08-30 03:59:07 · answer #1 · answered by Doogle Magoogle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's abuse! You need to get authorities involved. She won't leave on her own at this point. Spread the word, get your parents and family involved. She can get through this, but she probably has very low self esteem and thinks that he is all she can get. Show up at her door with some other people (maybe have a tape recorder in your pocket to use as proof in case he threatens you. Say you want to see her, and listen for the response. Call the cops if he won't let you see her. Don't give up!!
2007-08-30 03:58:38 · answer #2 · answered by *coral* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Sounds like you might need to get all her friends and family together for some what of an intervention. It's hard trying to make someone see the bad things about someone they love. But really try to bring to her attention all the wrong things he is doing to her. Maybe even taking her to a counselor with you where you two can talk openly with a mediator present. It won't be easy but she needs to get away now before it's too late. Good Luck.
2007-08-30 03:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by Jenn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy is a classic control freak and an abuser. You need to make her understand that things are only going to get worse. She will be isolated from her friends and family, and could be hurt or killed as well.
You should tell her family, and you might need to "abduct" her. If he is starting to physically abuse her, he can be brought up on charges, and a restraining, no-contact order can be sworn out. But someone needs to kick-start these processes.
You sound like that someone.
2007-08-30 04:00:56 · answer #4 · answered by Bill F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to leave while she still can, if she's afraid for her life then get a protection order. He needs a wake up call that you don't treat people like that. Tell her if he truly loves her he'd treat her with respect 100% of the time.
2007-08-30 03:56:14 · answer #5 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my younger sister,she'll be 20 years old and her boyfriend's 27.Total control freak,tells her what to wear,what to say,shows up with her when she visits(won't leave her side).Always on the other line when she calls,has her totally turned against me and our parents.He belittles her in front of us,then apologises.She can't see how he's treating her,how he's controling her life(thank god he isn't like the creep you're describing,at least not that we know of).It's frustrating,everybody else brought up excellent points,so I won't repeat myself.The problem is that if your sis is over 18,it's her choice to make,she has to wake up and smell the coffee and leave this jerk.She has to see him for who he is and how much he is destroying her life and her family.Untill she does that,she's basically addicted to him,addicted to what she thinks only he can provide and that no one else ever will.If she doesn't leave and get help it will get worse,'cutting her off' is the worst thing you can do,she needs you and your family's love and support more than ever on top of legal advice and serious counseling.What they have isn't love,don't let her fool you or herself,he doesn't love or respect her.He owns her,he's sick and most definitely abusive and she has to see that for herself in order to wake up to reality and get the hell out of there.Wish you both the best of luck here.
2007-08-30 04:55:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer her a place to stay steal her from him if you have to but if you think that she will go back to him even if you try to help her then she will have to find her own way out but try to help first if you have to take her to a battered women's shelter an get help so he cant come near her but find away to get her out that's the only thing that you can do so I wish you the best of luck an be careful also .
2007-08-30 04:01:12 · answer #7 · answered by C.S. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay if she won't listen to you call your parents. Ask her to stay at your house for a while and tell her everything. Let her know you are there for her and if he really loves her then he won't hurt her. She needs to find someone to care for her as if shes the only person in their life and they don't want to leave
2007-08-30 03:59:00 · answer #8 · answered by jazzyjas_45 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her the situation underlining the negative parts. Sometimes people need help and advice to open up their eyes. If she doesnt listen, tell ur parents. She will hate u for it.. but it'll be beneficial in the long run and one day she'll see that. Dont let her go through it. Good luck!
2007-08-30 03:57:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your sister doesn't want to leave him, she's not going to just because YOU want her to.
She's a person with her own free-will, and she's going to stay with him as long as she thinks she's in love with him, no matter what anyone else says.
The only way you can try to change her mind (but no guarantee she will) is to continually tell her what scum he is, and tell her that she can do so much better without him.
2007-08-30 03:56:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister must be incredibly lame to not be capable of discerning her bf is a total JERK. She should not need you or anyone else telling her. Her lack of intelligence is so deep, I could not advise you as to where to start with her. She is SO deep in denial that I'm certain she will do the opposite of anything you suggest.
Although it will be painful for you, you MUST disconnect yourself from her and her awful relationship - do not give advice, sympathy, safe haven, etc. She MUST finally get smart on her own and deal with him by herself. When she comes whining to you, simply state "You KNOW how I feel about this guy, you KNOW you need to dump him, so I do NOT want to hear anything about it." Without your constant moral and emotion crutch, she will be forced to DO something.
2007-08-30 04:08:02 · answer #11 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋