atheist with a religious family?

Question

I am an atheist and very firm in my conviction that god does not and cannot exist. While I'm not militant or even really outspoken, I have made a decision and I'm sticking to it.

My mother is pretty religious... she goes to Mass every Sunday, prays every night, helps out at church, and so on. It is the same with her brother and sisters and parents (my uncles, aunts, cousins, and grandparents on that side).

The problem is that I know it really upsets my grandmother and to a somewhat lesser extent my mom that I do not believe in god. They do not know that I am an atheist, just that several years ago I stopped going to Mass. My grandmother just sent me an email asking if I mind if she prays for me so when she goes to heaven she doesn't have to worry... how can I stop hurting her without compromising my beliefs?

I don't want to convert them, just make things a little less tense. Should I tell them that I am an atheist, and if so why I believe what I do? Please help!

P.S. I am 18 so it's not like I am just doing this to rebel or anything. I am out of the house and on my own, a rational adult.

Also, though I took latin classes for years, I can't read latin. Please write in english, popey.

Answer 1

It's great that you care about the way your family feels about your decision about God. Do me a favor, though... If you decide to tell your Grandmother that you reject everything she holds dear, then proceed to tell her why, give her the respect and let her tell you why you're wrong, minute for minute...

Answer 2

Well first of all I'm sorry that you feel this way and that God is no longer a part of your life, but for the sake of the people that care for you I will say that if you went to church and believed in Christ when you were a little one, once saved, always saved so you can just tell them that they can pray for you and it's okay ... because quite honestly it does make them feel better. Once you believed and now you don't but once written in the book, not erased.... I think some Catholics know that to be true and this may comfort to know that you will be with them in eternity even if you think that is not true.

Answer 3

My family still believes that I am a non-denominational Christian. Why? Because my family is completely absorbed into that cult, and for me to explain to my mother, for example, why her god does not exist, at her age, would simply add a confusion and anxiety to her life that she does not need.

Overcoming the addiction to that cult is a long process, and can often be very painful. As much as I would like to help my family, I see no reason to put them through that kind of pain. If my parents were younger, I might consider it. But as their entire lives have been wrapped around that cult, I see no reason to disrupt their lives now, in such a way.

And what does this mean to me? Not much. It doesn't bother me to lie about something like that. Unlike cult members, I don't go to any kind of hell for denying my true beliefs. It's water under the bridge, and I'll move on to the next subject.

(Although I must admit, I went to a church for Easter several years ago, to appease my family. And I was boiling with rage as I listened to this preacher lying to the congregation about a variety of topics, such as evolution, etc. I was clutching the pew in anger, barely containing my desire to stand up and expose that lying SOB in front of his own congregation)

Answer 4

The truth shall set you free!

Any by truth, I mean that "god" is nothing more than a nonsense word created by man to explain away all of the things we can’t yet understand and religion is a disease of the mind, born of fear, which has done nothing but bring untold misery down upon the human race.

Answer 5

Why bother, it will probably just make your life more of a pain if they are always trying to convert you. I would just play the part for a while. I told my family, but they were respectful to it and did not push their beliefs on me.. If you family would be the same way then go for it.

Answer 6

There are duties that we owe to others and duties that we owe to ourselves. Would your mother and grandmother want you to live a lie? You have to be who you are and live according to your conscience. You accept them for who they are, even though they don't believe as you do. Trust that they can do the same for you. They certainly should. If you don't feel they can handle the truth that you're an atheist, tell them that you live according to the Golden Rule.

Answer 7

I'm in the same boat. I told them all, and I asked them not to talk to me about their beliefs much anymore. There is so much more to relationships than religion and you should focus on those things.

If they insist on being overly pious around you, it's their choice to push you away.

I turned their own beliefs back on them and told them that if they believe what they believe they should just privately pray for me and have faith that if there is a God he will take care of me and my beliefs.

Answer 8

"The truth shall set you free"

No, that is wrong in this case. If it is hurting your grandmother then keep it to yourself. My family is VERY religious, and I am an atheist. They don't know, they only know I don't attend church anymore. Honestly, it isn't going to kill you to keep it to yourself, and it will save a lot of heartache from your grandmother or other family members.

Answer 9

If you don't believe in God, what's the harm in having he pray for you? You're not compromising your beliefs and she will be able to pray for you and stop worrying.

Peace

Answer 10

elderly people tend to be too set of their techniques (noticeably in the event that they're non secular) to be reasoned with, I instructed my grandparents i grow to be an atheist once I realised i grow to be one (approximately 12 or 13) and that i've got been given considered one of those mouthful i did no longer talk to them plenty after that, the few activities that i did they promptly prompt the verbal substitute back to the priority of me being an atheist and tried to covert me back.