Dear Wife:
i'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
i've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you
came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked
your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You
ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or
anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on
me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your
EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
__________________________________________________ ________
Dear Ex-Husband -
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you
and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far
cry
from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out
your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID
notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came
to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not
to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And
when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and
bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything
happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you
always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you
won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
2007-08-30 03:04:57 · 25 answers · asked by Tony T 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
i lmao. every-time i hear this one. i am glad you put it on today. i needed a good lol. i am at work with nothing to do so thanks for brighten my boring day up. 10++++
2007-08-30 03:48:04 · answer #1 · answered by ms01 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The break up letter, God's email and definition of wife and mother were just too good. Tomorrow morning the first thing i would be doing ofcourse after brushing my teeth would be telling them to my friends! You deserve lots of stars! Ok my Character map isnt allowing me to copy stars, so please adjust with these hearts! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥... LOL God knows how many thumbs down i'll get for this one! Anyway, Cheers! :) Rudra
2016-04-02 07:14:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's funny especially the letter back to the ex husband. Stars to you.
2007-08-30 03:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Teehee! Nearly peed myself!
2007-08-30 03:32:33 · answer #4 · answered by emzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice one lol
2007-08-30 03:43:16 · answer #5 · answered by aslan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW now that was smart and realy funny LMFAO
Lily
2007-08-30 03:23:23 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Lily the Angel ♥ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, the P.S. is probably the best closer ever.
2007-08-30 03:45:42 · answer #7 · answered by iizeddicusrahlii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wooww..poor husband.LOL
2007-08-30 03:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs.Bears 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol!
rofl!
11/10!
2007-08-30 14:10:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This was awesome!!! HAHAHA loved it you get a *
2007-08-30 03:15:57 · answer #10 · answered by amanda h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋