Ignorance like that is simply beyond description, dearest.
Just remember these euphemisms when you read things like that Tiger Lilly:
People like that are:
A beer short of a six pack
A brick short of a load
A couple of eggs shy of a dozen
A couple of gallons short of a full tank
A few ants short of a picnic
A few beers short of a six-pack
A few bricks short of a pile
A few bricks short of a wall
A few cards short of a deck
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few feathers short of a whole duck
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
A few peas short of a casserole
A few tomatoes short of a good thick sauce
A few trucks short of a convoy
A fortune cookie short of a Chinese dinner
A pepperoni short of a pizza
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on
A sandwich short of a picnic
A train short of a full service?
About as bright as a burnt out 20 watt light bulb.
About as useful as a chocolate fireguard
Ah say, that boy reminds me of Paul Revere's ride; a little light in the
belfry
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity
An intellect rivalled only by garden tools
As much use as a hedgehog in a condom factory
As much use as an ashtray on a motorcycle
As quick as a tortoise on Prozac
As smart as bait
As useful as a screen door on a submarine
As useful as a wooden frying pan
As useful as **** on a bull
Body by God, Mind by Mattel.
Bright as Alaska in December
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
Doesn’t have both oars in the water
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash
Doesn't have all the dots on his dice
Donated his body to science before he was done using it
Dumb as a corn cob.
Dumb as a stump.
Dumber than a bag of hammers.
Dumber than a bag of rocks
Elevator don't quiet make the top floor
Fell out of the family tree
Forgot to pay his brain bill
Goes surfing in Nebraska
Golf bag doesn’t have a full set of irons
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together
Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t watching
Gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than a normal ignoramus
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt
Has two brains, one's lost and the other is out looking for it
Having an intelligence rivalled only by garden tools.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
He had a little too much chlorine in his gene pool.
He is so dumb, he would look for a wishbone in a soft-boiled egg.
He is so dumb, the only thing he ever read was an eye-chart.
He played too much without a helmet
He’s got a mind like a steel trap, rusted shut
He's got a leak in his think-tank
He's got a mind like a steel sieve
He's got his feet firmly planted 3 feet above the ground
He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer
He's so dense light bends around him
He's so dumb he couldn't pour the water out of a boot if the instructions
were on the heel
His belt doesn't go through all the loops
His cheese has slipped off his cracker
His porch light ain't on
I say, that boy is about as sharp as a sack of wet mice
If brains were chocolate - he wouldn't have enough to fill an M&M
If brains were dynamite - he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose
If brains were dynamite, he wouldn’t have enough to blow his hat off
If brains were gasoline, he couldn't ride a moped around a fruit loop
If brains were taxed, he’d get a rebate
If he had a brain, he'd be dangerous
If he had another brain, it would be lonely
If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week
If stupid were a talent, he would be considered gifted
If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change back
If you stand close enough to him you can hear the ocean
Isn’t firing on all 6 cylinders
Isn’t firing on all thrusters
Its hard to believe that he beat out half a billion other sperm
Kangaroo loose in the top paddock
Like a pair of children’s scissors, bright and colourful, but not too sharp
Million dollar body and a 2 dollar engine.
Mind is in neutral, body is in gear
Mind like a rubber bear trap.
Needing a few screws tightened
Not firing with all spark plugs
Not the brightest light in the harbour
Not the brightest light on the Christmas tree
Not the sharpest hook in the tackle box.
Not the sharpest pencil in the box
Off his rocker
On/off switch is broken in the off position
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
One neuron short of a synapse
One taco short of a combination plate
One turbine short of an airplane
One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests
Prime candidate for natural deselection
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
Requires directions to lay sod
Room temperature IQ
Running about a quart low
Running on empty
Sets the lowest possible goals, and consistently fails to achieve them.
Sharp as a bowling ball.
She is so dumb, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if she
had two guesses.
She is so dumb, when I asked her to pass the plate, she said: "Upper or
lower?"
She's not tied too tight to the pier
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled
Strong like bear, smart like tractor.
Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes
The elevator is stuck between floors.
The lights are flashing, the gate is down, but the train isn’t coming
The lights are on, but nobody is home.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead
Too dumb to pull his head in before he shuts the window
Too many yards between the goal posts
Two hub caps short of a Buick.
Warning - Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
Was left on the tilt-a-whirl too long as a baby
Would be out of her depth in a mud puddle.
Your the flower of my life (you blooming idiot)
You can't call him an idiot, you'll insult all the idiots in the world.
2007-08-30 01:57:47
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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You bet. There's a sad division between SOME Protestant churches and the Catholic Church, but we have 1.) the same Scriptures (with minor differences in inclusivity and translation); 2.) a common belief in a Creator God and his sacrificial, messianic son; 3.) a common belief in the endtimes, especially prophecies of the messianic son's return to the earth; 4.) a common belief in the salvific death and resurrection of Jesus. If I may say so myself, an educated Catholic wil be a bit more open minded about things - we don't read just one book, you know - so we can accept that people of other religions (or of no religion at all) can have the same salvation opportunity that we do. Some Christians don't ... but then, they're the kind that don't get along with anyone on earth, so of course they'd want an afterlife where they don't have to put up with anyone but themselves! (Frankly, an entire cosmos populated by rude bigots sounds more like hell than heaven to me, but hey ... to each, their closed minded brainwashed bible thumping own.) Oh, and before anyone brings it up - Catholics don't worship the Virgin Mary. If someone told you that, then they're wrong. And so are you.
2016-04-02 07:11:04
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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The origin of the Catholic Church comes from Jesus Christ and traces its root from St. Peter as the pope. As Matthew 16:18-19 says, "Now I say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it. And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you lock on earth will be locked in heaven, and whatever you open on earth will be opened in heaven." Ask the other Christians if they also took from this same root. Historically, the protestant faith where most of these other Christians originate, seceded from the Catholic Church. As such, the main branch of Christianity is really Catholicism. The word "Catholic" means universal and the word indicates the spreading of the faith around the world. The difference is not about worshipping Jesus or a different God, but the difference is on the interpretation of dogma. This is really a long discussion. I think what is needed is tolerance, and not one religion trying to outwit one another because they could not see eye to eye on certain principles.
2007-08-30 02:13:13
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answer #3
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answered by Archdruid 1
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Well, as far as I know, we worship the same god. Simon t obviously doesn't understand that they are just different denominations of the same basic religion.
The same as Protestants, as far as I am aware (the main difference with them as far as I can tell being that they don't hold as much importance on Mary). And just like Christianity is an off-shot of Judaism.
I think Simon t simply didn't do his research before answering. Hope my answer helps a little.
2007-08-30 02:05:05
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answer #4
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answered by Skippy 5
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Catholics and Protestants worship the same god, they share similar beliefs and values. Anyone that does not recognize this is simply ignorant and needs to do some objective study on the history and beliefs of the two religions.
Granted there are some doctrinal differences, but surveys of various ministers and priest have shown that protestants will often hold to catholic beliefs and vice versa.
2007-08-30 02:00:23
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answer #5
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answered by Pirate AM™ 7
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According to people like that? It's pretty much the same God that JW's and Mormons worship. Sigh. I don't judge anyone by their denomination. A person is a Christian if they've accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Period. Denomination is irrelevant.
Do I agree with the doctrine of the Catholic church? Not completely. Do I agree with Mormons and JW's? No. But I have no right to judge anyone else's relationship with God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. I'm focused on my own.
2007-08-30 01:55:56
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answer #6
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answered by The_Cricket: Thinking Pink! 7
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Catholics are all into Jesus and God, They never call him by his name, which the Jehovas Witnesses say is "Jehova".
Church of England Is just a branch off from Catholic because a King in the Past (think it was Henry VIII) Wanted to divorce his wife and marry again, and the Catholics were like "Hell no!" and this angered him, so he decided to Create his own Church and then he could re marry.
So one little thing I find so sure.
Never believe in any religion that can be altered.
And considering Jehovas Witnesses have Jehova written all over the book (is this the true version/?? nah... they came around a long time after other religions) Is Catholic the True Religion? nah cant be.... I think it has somthing to do with laws and rome or summit similar. (Ps the church, be it catholic or COE or what ever, they used to scare property and wealth from lords and people in the past, by threatening them with eternal damnation if they didnt give the church their land. and some families would go with nothing because the church would lie and decieve the dying out of house and home.
This is why I now believe in NO religion. As which ever one you go with they want money!
I thought of following Wicca / paganism a while back, but then I thought I dont wish to devote my life to any spiritual belief as what we have here on earth is our only chance, you may get stuck in limbo as some call it, or you could call it trapped.
With regards to christians again....
People allways think that celebrating EASTER is the death of Christ.... nah ahhh our survey said....
EASTER... Is actually pagan...
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Chech this link out.... IT will explain it all in more detail!
http://www.albatrus.org/english/festivals/easter/is_easter_pagan.htm
we have all been lied to for over 1500 years
2007-08-30 02:07:35
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answer #7
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answered by conspiracy_secrets_coverups 3
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I must say that some of your responses have been vastly entertaining. Of course we worship the same God; there is but one, and one Savior -- His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord.
Father K, thank you for the list, it's certainly going to come in handy.
Rocky, dear, do please stop embellishing for effect. You never "bought an indulgence" unless perhaps you lived in Martin Luther's time ... when the practice was, unfortunately, rather widespread due to some priests and bishops succumbing to the lure of corruption and a weak pope who was aware of it but did not confront it, and effectively sanctioned it by his silence. (Yes, some popes have been poor leaders; they were men, and the Church does not claim that they were otherwise. They are preserved infallible by the Holy Spirit only when teaching on matters of doctrine and morality.)
You were also never required to buy candles, and if you did so it was a voluntary offering. God hears our prayers quite well without them; they are primarily for us, as a visible reminder that our prayers are lifted to Heaven.
The only relics that can be bought and sold are third-class relics -- again, something that is not required, but done by some as a matter of personal piety.
None of these sacramentals, or others, are necessary for one's salvation; they are simply devotional practices. One can be thoroughly Catholic without them. You are trying to paint the Church in the least complimentary light possible for your own purposes, which is your choice, but do please give over spreading outright falsehoods.
2007-08-30 03:35:19
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answer #8
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answered by Clare † 5
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Catholics are Christians. They were the first organized Christian church. The man on the cross above the altar is Jesus Christ. You worship the same deity as all the other Christians. As a matter of fact, you may well be a better Christian than the person who insists you believe as he does.
2007-08-30 01:56:33
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answer #9
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answered by jack of all trades 7
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Yes,Catholic are Christian and must certainly do worship the same God.Catholics do things a little different such as praying to Saints and Mary.We are taught Jesus is our intercessor,but all Catholics are Christians.
2007-08-30 01:56:18
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answer #10
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answered by gwhiz1052 7
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Of course all Christians (Catholics included) worship the same God. Simon T, (whoever he is) is simply wrong. One of the weaknesses (and strengths) of a public forum is that you also get the lunatic fringe writing in.
2007-08-30 01:58:23
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answer #11
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answered by Anonymous
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