My mother moved in with us a 3 months ago she broke up with her boyfriend of 20 years and retired. My wife has always gotten along with her and thought the world of her, but now she is starting to cause trouble with my wife. My wife says she turns into a different person when I leave the house. She told me that she saw her kick our dog and she says mean things to my wife. When I ask my mom about it she denies it says she never said that. We were planning on selling our small house and buying a bigger one so we would have more room. I thought that would help but Im worried now it will only get worse. She has a good retirement, but all her friends are gone now. I hate to ask her to leave but might have to.
2007-08-29 23:53:31 · 6 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That is a tough situation. Maybe you can help your mother find things to do with her time and feel better with herself (if that could be relevant), such as new interests eg. vounteer with some sort of community services, take some classes, social or sporting activities with other retirees. Perhaps that could help. Maybe you can talk to your mother and tell her sort of what you have said here - that she has changed and you are worried, and don't want her to leave, but things are not going well with her not her usual self. Maybe she is willing to share her problems with you, or find a way to sort them out or better ways of coping than making everyone else's life miserable. I hope it works out for you.
2007-08-30 00:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by Max 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do yourselves all a favor and ask your mother to leave, kindly. Sit down with her and create a plan. Help her to find a place which is appropriate. Then follow through and get her moved out. You have to do this to save your marriage. Good luck.
2007-08-30 07:34:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your marrage is going to suffer, and your mother is going to make sure it happens. Check into places you know your mother can afford and take her to see them. You have to tell her that you thought it would work out with her living there, but the house is just to small to have "TWO" families living there. It is not going to be easy, but it is something you will have to do. Make it close enough, but not that close so you can visit.
2007-08-30 08:11:11 · answer #3 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to put your wife and family FIRST. Your mother has lived her life and you and your family have a right to live yours as well YOUR way. Your mother needs to get her own place before your marriage suffers the consequences.
2007-08-30 07:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
omg sounds like my story... my MIL moved in with us. for 3 months it was a nitemare. as soon as hubby left for the day she was a different person. she wanted to control the house. we have 2 teenagers and they saw the differnce she was when their dad wasnt home too. he had to tell his mom it wasnt working out that there was to many different ppl living under one roof. of course she says its all my fault. she got her own place a month later and still was a pain. she act like she wanted to still control stuff at our home. went as far as tellin my son he could live with her. we ended up getting into a huge fight and she wont talk to me or my daughter now. and barely talks to her son or mine. its hard to have to females in a home if both are use to being the top person in the home. sorry to say: this is a no win problem for u and your wife. if i had to do it all over again i would do the same. ask your self is this something you want to do forever. my hubby and i have our yungest child turning 18 in 3yrs we have our own dreams to do things and enjoy life and not raising his mother is not one of them. she is 55yrs old a bit to young to think we will take care of her for life. good luck
2007-08-30 08:22:40 · answer #5 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tell your mother to leave. It's better to come home to a happy wife than to an unhappy one.
2007-08-30 09:07:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋