i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and known him for 4 and we are very very much in love and meant to be , we had our paths cross a few years ago , i never saw him but he noticed me out and was to shy to approach me then accidentally we meet years later and the rest is history, i dont want to waste more time then needed and he is perfect for me and he says the same vice versa , but whenever we talk of marriage he is content to wait another 5 to 6 years but at 31 and 32 i feel my clock ticking and that we need to start at least be even thinking of enegagement i will not force him to do what he not want so how can i compramise with him when he is so set in his ways,HELP!
2007-08-29 23:29:14 · 14 answers · asked by shadow 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I hate to say this but why should he marry you he has everything he wants without any responisbility . In other words he will never marry you and you might have to move on in order to have children or anything . I dont think he is the guy for you . he wants to wait untill you guys have been together for 9 yrs? that would not happen with me . good luck .
2007-08-29 23:34:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know the reason he wants to wait for so long? If you two live together for that long, you will be married without having to go through the process. That is uncalled for. It is just pushing it. I am engaged, but we are in no hurry to get married. It is a mutual feeling between the both of us. However, it does make me feel like I am not good enough for him to marry bc he has no interest in getting married at this point. However, he is unable to see it from that way. All he sees is the marriage he got out of and the trouble it has caused him for so long. We both went through a divorce at the same time and were there for each other the whole time. But, you should talk to him and see why he is so set in waiting as long as he is. That is pushing it drastically. You are right about your bio clock and he should be able to see that. Let him know how you feel and how this is making you feel. Maybe he can see your side of it if you explain it fully to him. That will also give him something to think about and might even change his mind a bit.
2007-08-30 06:42:36 · answer #2 · answered by Angelic Valentine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either you do as I do, and give up on the whole marriage idea, or you wait as long as you can then leave (giving him warning, of course.)
My partner promised me a ring, then decided later he no longer believed in marriage! So, we do the de facto thing, and have a gorgeous little daughter. I'd rather we'd got married, but I wasn't going to leave him over it. Looking on the bright side, if we'd got married, we couldn't have afforded our daughter for a few more years. She's much more important.
If you think about it and feel you couldn't settle for a de facto relationship, from some moral standpoint, not just because you want to be princess for the day, you have to tell him. "I don't want to pressure you, but I need to be married and getting prepared to have kids at age X. I won't be able to wait any longer than Y years for you. I hope you'll be ready before then, but if not, I'll have to move on. We don't need to think more about that right now, but you'll have to do some thinking over the next few months (or years) because I'll need to know."
2007-08-30 06:39:19 · answer #3 · answered by Rosie_0801 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You find out how important a marriage certificare is when the guy finds a younger and prettier girl. He can move on with no regrets and youre left alone with your best years wasted. I never could understand why women would put their lives in that position. Why do you think that marriage has been the normal thing for thousands of years?
2007-08-30 06:50:51 · answer #4 · answered by jms043 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your clock is ticking, doesn't that mean you want a baby, not marriage? You can get married anytime or not at all, having a baby has a time limit. Talk to him and tell him what you want. If he isn't ready for it, you either have to accept it or leave. If you can't accept it and stay with him, you'll just get resentful.
2007-08-30 06:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by Bridget S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation as you. Ive been with my boyfriend for almost years & our paths crossed lots of times but we never made a move but obviously eventually we did. we're so in love & I think of marriage every day because I know hes the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. maybe talk to him & see what he thinks about a long engagement? theres no harm in asking him. good luck.
2007-08-30 06:34:45 · answer #6 · answered by lisa g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend seems a little scared of committment. Sit down and talk to him and explain how you feel and what your wishes are. Do not try to compromise in the dark. Find out why he wants to wait, then go from there. Best of Luck.
2007-08-30 06:32:54 · answer #7 · answered by thomastl614 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the decission is all down to you....are you willing to make the commitment? we are talking about marriage.....its a bond between two people, legally & mentally......'til death do you part'
The clock is ticking but, nowaday people are getting married later in life...coz of work, social life or having found the right person......if he keeps putting off the situation then I suggest to really think about your relationship.....where is it heading? or you are heading anywhere?
2007-08-30 06:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by mimii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't wait too long. I waited 12 years and he never did marry me. I had to start over much older. It is not fiar that he is doing this to you. If he does not know after 3 years, he will probably never marry you.
2007-08-30 06:44:45 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion marriage is not important. it costs a lot and people say love cant be bought. marriage is a sign of commitment but they could just show they are commited by tellin you or maybe writing a poem, marriage is not vital in love but if you think you want to be married talk to him and find out if he wants the same thing.he may be nervous to propose
2007-08-30 06:35:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋