The real interpretation long lost of the 10 commandments? Who would’ve of thought!?

Question

1. I am the Lord thy God (I am the Lousy tired God)
2. Thou shalt have no other gods before me (Thou shalt only have other gods behind me!)
3. Thou shalt not make for thyself an idol (Thou shalt let someone else make for thyself an idol)
4. Thou shalt not commit adultery ( Thou shalt marry how many wifes thee want, therefore not commit adultery)
5. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy (Remember that the Sabbath is there and poke a “hole” in it)
6. Honor thy Mother and Father (Honor the couple Virgin Mary&Jesus)
7. Thou shalt not murder (Man is intended to be slaughtered by Me only!)
8. Thou shalt not steal (Thou shalt only borrow for eternity)
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness (Thou shalt only dog false witness)
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife (Thou shalt only covet thy neighbor’s husband!)

Answer 1

Excellent.

How about for #7 - Thou shalt not murder...EXCEPT:
- Adulterers (Leviticus 20:10)
- Blasphemers (Leviticus 24:16)
- Sabbath-breakers (Exodus 31:14 & 15)
- Disobedient children (Exodus 21:15 & 17; Leviticus 20:9)
- Homosexuals (Leviticus 20:13)
- Women who are not virgins on their wedding night (Deuteronomy 22:13-22)
- Anyone who tries to take the holy land from you
- Non-Christians (as in the Crusades)

Answer 2

Not funny at all!

Just two now - Love God and love others.

Remember, His word is truth. You may joke about these now, but one day you will have to face the One who loves you and tell Him what you did with the truth you knew.

Answer 3

Cute.

Now, try doing the same thing with the Spirit of the law.

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