First off, I am one of those people who loved being pregnant. But my husband and I are very happy with the two perfect children we have and have both agreed we are done. A friend of mine is going to be looking for a surrogate and deep down I really want to do it. When I mentioned it to my husband he freaked out, but I don’t think he completely understands. I requested literature about it and hope to sit down with him to better explain. I want him to see that we would be giving these people the joy our kids have brought to us. I really want to help her, and as long as it’s her egg and his sperm, I’ll be fine with giving it up. Side note… we could also use the money. Is that bad? And should I let it go right away if my husband disagrees?
2007-08-29 19:24:30 · 5 answers · asked by mykidsrcuter 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I personally could not be a surrogate due to a history of miscarriages. I also had a stressful pregnancy and would not be a good candidate for surrogacy.
But I applaud any woman who is able to give the gift of a child to a couple who is unable to carry their own. Like others said, I think your intentions of helping someone to achieve their dream of parenthood is primary-the money secondary. (We could all use the extra money!) Education is the key. Using the internet, try seeking out a forum of women who have been surrogates in the past. FInd a support group or feedback for the HUSBAND'S of surrogate woman. After all, the husband's are also affected. Their wife is carrying someone else's baby-yet the husband may also feel some sense of attachment. Learn/research everything you can about surrogacy for 6 months or so. Consider your own previous pregnancies. Were they stress-free? Any medical interventions needed? Any reason your body may not do well with the heavy dosage of fertility drugs? Will you truly promise to do everything in your power to abide my the mother's wishes in regard to diet, exercise, no smoking/drinking (although I can probably assume you don't)?
This is a HUGE decision that you and hubby need to discuss and think about together. You both need to be on the same page. All the very best to you!
2007-08-30 03:31:35 · answer #1 · answered by Sharon F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that its one of the most selfless things a woman can do. Carry a child that isnt her own to give another the opportunity of parenthood. I think that it is a decision that both you and your husband are going to have to make. Education is the key so keep gathering as much information on the subject as possible. Maybe you all including your friend need to sit down with a professional and talk about what exactly will happen. If then your husband still disagrees I dont think you should because you need to respect his decision. Maybe he might have a hard time excepting the pregnancy and you dont want to cause problems for your marriage. I wish you all the best.
2007-08-29 19:47:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Im in Australia - here Surrogacy is only legal in 1 state (Im not in that state) but it is also illegal here to pay for or be paid for body parts - personally I dont have any issue with surrogacy except that I had a pregnancy from hell and never wish to do it again - I also have a friend who is unable to make her own eggs so I have done IVF a couple of times for her and have donated 24 embryos to her - this is legal where I live although I was not paid for it - she paid for the medications etc I had to take but that was it - I obviously didnt do it for the money but to help her - my husband was ok with it but if he wasnt I wouldnt have done it - I believe if you go ahead with surrogacy and your husband is not happy about it you will be jepodising your marriage - I agree the literature is a good idea but dont keep on at him about it - let him make a decision in his own time and respect that decision either way.
2007-08-29 19:37:37 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Kazz♥ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have been looking into surrogate also. I am only looking to be a donor, since I don't have any children of my own yet. I think that you and your husband need to see eye to eye and then go from there. Good luck to your family and the other family!
2007-08-30 02:29:16 · answer #4 · answered by Independence Baby - 7/4/09 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would love to be able to do that for someone. I'm 23 weeks pregnant and love it. hopefully you can get your husband to understand.
2007-08-30 01:45:15 · answer #5 · answered by Olivia's Mama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋