American men seem to be as coldhearted as machines... is Terminator the ideal model?

Question

I'm having a hard time here... Is it me? California? LA? Entertainment business?
It seems every time something doesn't go exactly how they want it to go, they disapear. No discussion, no negociation, no fight... no emotion.
And when I read about relationships in the US, people seem very clinic with answers such as "let it go" as soon as something gets tricky.
Where I come from (Europe) we work on relationships. We get passionate, we fight, we cry, we stalk, we love, we cry again (from joy this time), we laugh and disapear from the rest of the world. Everyone at the office knows something is going on but no-one really complains about because love is about not being in control anymore, and it doesn't happen that often so it's being respected in a way.
Here I find it very cold.
It's like I can't touch the men, they can even be ghosty, and they don't show emotions really. So I have not much to work with... and no-one to really BE with.
Terminator, is it the model to follow?
Or am I scary?

Answer 1

Nah...you may just have bad taste in men, sorry.

Answer 2

Men have allowed the movies to convince them that women really do like sex as much as men do and that women can have sex without being emotionally (and spiritualy) involved with the man. This was easy of course, because it is what men in america want to believe. What? work at a relationship? you've got to be kidding, right? I mean america is the land of unwed mothers. all of these guys grew up without a father or watched the father leave them and their mom, so what's the big deal about sticking around to make it last? And women in america are so insecure, they will will let a man get away with anything, just so long as he promises to stay the night and come back again in the evening. hard to get? that's a pair of comfortable shoes, right? I mean after all, if he's no good in bed, I can always fake it. I just want someone who can help me pay the bills.

So, Baba, what country are you from? brunette by any chance? east coast? west coast? you mentioned LA. that's a little far south for me, ever thought about northern california?

I notice the New Yorker didn't say anything about your chances of finding a caring man in New York, only a career. good luck if you head east, you might need it.

Answer 3

Let me attempt at answering this question since I am one of those cold-hearted American men you are harping about.

Here in the US, men are raised not to cry or be overly emotional. We are raised to be rugged individualist. We Americans can be very good people, but on the same token we can be cut-throat at the same time. Why do you think we call our professional and business lives the "Rat race"?

It could also be a fuction of geography as well. California men are going to be different than the people you meet say in New York, Atlanta or Texas. America is a pretty large country. Here in the south we tend to be laid back with conservative values. In the Northeast US, people tend to be a little edgy and more liberal.

It could also be the men you just happen to meet. And you just happen to meet all the cold ones as well. Another reason men / people might seem distant to you is because you come from another country and culture and they may not know how to approach you in a romantic way.

Answer 4

Definately the Terminator is not the way to go, and as far as L.A. goes, they are nothing but dreamers trying to get a nutt! ... You should have came to New York City where the real dog-eat world is and you would have probably already succeeded in your adventures to stardum! ... L.A., Compton, Hollywood, California in general is the pits!... They know nothing but show-business and yet all the celebrities are there but it means nothing! ... The real star is you and what you feel about yourself ... It has nothing to do with where you are!... But if you want attention, recognition and a chance to be all you can be ... then come to New York City and forget about Los Angeles, and California as a whole. It's not worth it.

As far as men go in California, they are nothing but a bunch of flakes trying to get a real nutt! ... You'll find heartless and unemotional men there with nothing but surfing and volleyball on their minds and no real desire to be with a woman anyways because most of them think they are better looking than women. So don't sweat it! ... All men are not like those in L.A. and/or California, there's alot of men in the world with pation, emotions and feelings for you the person and your sensitivities. You're just in a place right now where love, life and relationships is nothing but the beach sand on a Saturday night! ...Leave California and come to the big "Apple" where all the real successes begin and get yourself recognized!!!

Good luck and don't ever let anyone in California tell you that you don't have what it takes!... You're a star regardless babygirl ... Don't let California tell you otherwise!

Much Love,
Peace & Happiness

Answer 5

I have to agree that our society in America is very different from other countries. I had a friend from France who told me that people are very up close and personal over there. He said it was always a shock to him how much "space" people give each other in certain parts of America and it intrigued me to hear his stories on relationships as they sounded very different from what I normally see here in the USA.

I'd have to say it is alot of our culture that sells us on the whole "disposable" girlfriend/boyfriend idea. Life is too short, move on trend is getting more and more engraved into our minds, hearts, as well as our souls.

But don't count your losses yet on us, there is plenty of girls and guys out there who won't let a relationship go. I dated a girl who was a stalker... ever though it be cool to have a stalker? It's not.

Keep looking and you'll find your mate, just don't lead the ones that you aren't interested in on into believing they have a chance.

Answer 6

Honestly, not all American men are like that....
really they are not. Yeah....there are some bad apples....
but dont throw away the whole barrel just because of a few bad apples...understand?

I think you need to get to know some American men frist before you say that stuff. Get to know one first..then maybe base an opinion that particular experience.

You can't really live , or know or judge by what you don't exeprience. "Experience is the only teacher".
I cannot go by what someone else feels , thinks or says
if I myself, havent had that same experience they had.
I can only go by what happened to me in life.

Good luck

Answer 7

Yes. It's the well-rooted model in this country. This is the country that takes capitalism to another level. This is the "Me Me Me" nation. Maybe, that's what makes this country what it is now, whatever it is.

You are right in that people in other nations actually work on relationships. Most people maintain relationships for a long period or for life. Here, the business comes before friendship or relationship for most people.

At anytime, we say "you go your way, I go mine". I know it doesn't sound pretty, but nobody said the truth is pretty.

Get used to it. Protect yourself, but don't close the doors entirely.

Answer 8

American men are like that because most American women make them like that. Most American women on the west coast and other large cities are picky, stuck up, needy, affected, and can never be happy... with anyone, no wonder the men walk out alot!!!
I have been living here for 26 years and the women have been getting worse...

Answer 9

No, some guys are like that, but I'm not and I know lots of other guys who are kind and passionate.

I like to talk about how I feel, I believe it's good communication. I also believe in fighting for the rights of those who can't stick up for themselves ... such as children, victims of psychiatric abuse and animals.

The terminator is not my model, and I live in California.

Answer 10

lol As you pass from country to country you have to gradually develop the ability to understand the character of it's men and women, then you will know how to spot a good one (man or woman) after a while. Right now you are probably choosing the wrong type.

Answer 11

ask ur self this, maybe americans think ur cold hearted for not respecting who they are, PLUS u cant generalize by sayin Americans because that doesnt make any sense, and Europe isnt any better im sure there are some mad "cold hearted" guys there since I lived in europe.

Dont ever judge people by sayin Americans, this meaning ur actually mentioning Canada, Central America, and South America