My brother has a disability and stole my purse and lied about it and was exposed as he did it. He already has 2 offenses against him and I am reluntant to file charges. I did not want to file on him to prevent hurt to him but I still hurt badly inside that he did this to me being I helps him out so much. Please advise what you would do in a situation like this.
2007-08-29 16:18:42 · 7 answers · asked by JoJoBa 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would not be a prisoner in my own home. Has he asked for forgiveness? In order for you to show forgiveness, he needs 1.To be truly sorry for what he did. 2.Be willing and able to make compensation for the damage he has done. If this is not the case, you need to turn him in. He needs help and will never get it as long as people look the other way.
Turning him in does not mean you are showing a lack of love, rather hoping the best for him.
2007-08-30 00:27:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both live in the same house, the only thing you can do is be pro-active. I would suggest putting a serious deadbolt lock on your closet door and using that as a safe to store anything you value in... anything... cash, credit cards, your purse, your jewelry, your PC and anything else that klepto might possibly be interested in.
I recommend this for parents anyway, just to be able to store their personal items away from the kids (postage stamps, condoms, cash, handguns).
If you live in a separate place, change your locks and don't let anyone else have access. Your parents will absolutely give your brother access if they have the keys.
If you are old enough to move away, please look into some possibilities.
2007-08-29 23:31:40 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was a time when I would have kept my mouth shut and not made a fuss. But since that time I've come to learn that when we don't call people on their "stuff" we enable them to keep on doing what they're doing. By enabling them we are doing more harm than good. It's difficult to be direct and real with someone we care about. Our natural instinct is to protect them. But by doing that we are hurting ourselves and them.
Your brother has a disability. You don't mention what type of disability but that doesn't matter. It is not an excuse for him to steal. Unless he is completely unable to understand the difference between right and wrong, he knows what he did was wrong. He knows what he did hurt you. He probably also knows you won't do anything about it. Because he believes you won't do anything about it, he'll continue to do things to hurt you. By standing up to him and by doing what you have to do to protect yourself, you'll find your own strength and you'll also help him to grow. Tell him you love him and you see him as a good person. But he hurt you and because of that you have lost a certain amount of trust in him.
You'll have to decide if filing charges will be something you want to do or if you believe talking to him and telling him how much he hurt you will be effective. You have to decide, based on the actual situation and whatever else he's done repeatedly that he knows he shouldn't, just how far to go. There are lessons to be learned here for both of you. You have to learn to set boundaries for yourself and he has to learn to stop hurting someone who loves him. See this situation as an opportunity and approach it with love. Sometimes we have to let people we love fall in order for them to learn. That's the toughest love of all. And often it's the most effective. Best wishes to you.
2007-08-29 23:41:53 · answer #3 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sometimes tough love helps, I know it did me. Never tolerate his actions because for one, it will do both of you good. Don't worry about hurting his feelings because he for sure hurt your feelings by stealing from you. Stop helping him get out of it, let him face his problems...let him be a man and stop holding his hand. This kind of problem will affect your relationship with him if you still tolerate it.
Good Luck!
2007-08-30 11:26:11 · answer #4 · answered by m5t8k3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should call the police. As long as he knows he can commit a crime and get away with it, he will continue and even escalate. He will live a better life in the long run if he learns that he can't get away with stealing.
2007-08-29 23:38:37 · answer #5 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File charges. He will keep doing it again and again. Unless you like being a victim.
2007-08-29 23:47:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hide your purse from him or don't let him in your house anymore.
2007-08-29 23:41:27 · answer #7 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋