Why do some women and girls allow themselves to be doormats just for the sake of having a man?

Question

I admit I was that way, thinking I could change someone and that I needed a man. But now Im older and I have my priorities straight and theres nothing a guy can do for me that I cant do for myself.

I see alot of questions on here where the person is being cheated on, maybe it was only once and some people say to stay with them it was only once. Or stay if you love them. If they loved you, they wouldnt do it period. I dont care if it was once or 100 times, I would never tell my friend to stay with her cheating man. What is up with some people? Dont people respect and value themselves anymore?

I didnt learn it from my mother. While I was growing up she only had 2 men around that I could remember if that. I never experienced what she went through.

I am not looking down on anyone. But some people dont exercise common sense. Example of a question I read on here "My boyfriend cheated and gave me an STD, shoud I stay with him?"

YOU DONT HAVE TO SETTLE. BE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELVES.

Answer 1

Nope. My sister just got married to a living, breathing douche just so she could be married.

My girlfriend of 6 years used to date a huge pot head, and after that a verbally abusive G.I.Joe. What these girls need to do is get into a healthy relationship so they can compare how much better the nice relationship is. Looking back, my girlfriend (and eventual wife) has no idea why she let herself be put through the bad relationships.

Answer 2

Loneliness. Plain and simple. No one wants to hear that they are lonely...we don't want to believe it. But in essence, human beings were created to love and be loved. When something such as cheating threatens that love, a self confident person will stand up and say no way and move on. But someone who has a low self esteem will look at this as further proof that they can't find anybody else to love them...or that it was their fault. Their fear keeps them from standing up and saying that enough is enough. I've seen a lot of friends go through this, and I went through it myself. Even at a young age, people tend to panic and think that no one will ever be able to love them if they're "damaged" by cheating...or being a single parent...or abuse. It's hard for some people to see their self worth.

Answer 3

I agree with you. However, not every woman is on your level yet and until they are, they will face the same drama over and over again. I just had the bliders removed from my eyes and it took a while for it to happen. We can't judge others, just pray for them because once upon a time we were those same women going through the same things and just because we know better now doesn't mean we can look down on those who are still learning, we just have to help them learn faster : )

Answer 4

Chicks are trying to keep up with the Joneses',and the Joneses' are Beyonce' and Ryanna etc. Its all that's in the media, subliminal messages telling you, you need to be 120 or you are considered fat. Lots of women want to look like a top model (me too), but cant. That is when some look to a man to validate them, and most are trying to keep up with us, as far as appearance, so they want the best looking chick. It is sad, but very few values self anymore.

Answer 5

most women now days are left insecure and broke on the inside becuz men make us feel we need them and we cant do any better.we try to be all we can and dont look past the shame we have for ourself we try to keep what we have becuz we think we know nothing else out there is better then what we are fighting so hard to keep. we are raised young to fight for what we want so fighting just seems to come natural.being alone seems so much harder then it really is.take a breather sometimes it helps.fix yourself first then try a relationship.

Answer 6

well i can't speak for the rest of the world but where i am there are not a bunch of good single men for picking. All the good men are already married and the single good men are looking for someone that is damn near on the level of god...soooo.....um you have to hold on to what you have. Some women do not like to be alone....they can't take being lonely...and then you got some that think that thats all they can get. me?................well.........i use to think the same way as far as i don't need a man and blah blah blah but one day i want to be married and i know that inorder to have a relationship ....you have to give up some things in order to reach that goal.....no pain no gain......so....sadly to say i have learned to settle...its sad but...am putting it out there....the men in this area is horrible!! so you learn to deal with it or face being lonely

Answer 7

You just answered your question, when you said for the sake of having a man. Some women are not as strong and independent and hate to be alone so they tolerate any nic and cranny that comes their way.

Answer 8

I think more importantly we want to be loved more than we want to be respected and this is something that a lot of us go through before we eventually wake up and smell the coffee and realize that the scum-ball we are in love with is actually a real scum-ball.

Answer 9

Society and their mothers make them believe you can only be happy if you're with someone.

I'm like you, I used to think I could change someone, but I learned the hard way you can't. Ah, the lessons learned. . .

Answer 10

Insecurity and lack of self-esteem. These women go into a panic situation and will accept anything less than mediocre.