he wants to be with friends than his family and when you think you got ridd of him he comes back sayng that he loves you and wants to be a family with his kids and you but does the opossit.
2007-08-29 15:35:09 · 11 answers · asked by nana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You just make up your mind to do it - then you do it.
Think about what is best for your children. Do you want them to see you as a doormat? It's better to cut that cancer right out of your life.
My son's father was like a damn yo-yo --- he'd be around for 6 months, then gone for 3, repeat often. I finally had enough and put his stuff at the door. Neither of us have seen him in 16 years, and we don't miss him a bit. If I had allowed it, he'd still be coming and going.
Set the rules, then live by them.
2007-08-29 15:41:09 · answer #1 · answered by kelannde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step back and take a look at what is happening. His actions say that he has other priorities than his family. Then he feels badly and comes back, but if he has done this repeatedly, its pretty sure that he will gone on repeating it unless you do something to break this activity. In fact, it will probably get worse, and your stress will get worse, and the situation may very well escelate unless you do something to stop it.
I know it is hard when you have a history with a person and children with huge responsibilities, but in order to make your life change, and wind up having happier children, a happier you, you must start thinking of yourself and the children. You need to love yourself, and if you feel you deserve better, you must act like you deserve better and stop accepting his behaviors.
You may be bringing some of this on, if you are constantly criticizing him, bringing up past mistakes, etc. I know this is true, because I have lived it.
I lived with a man for 15 years, whose unloving behaviors increased over the years, as I allowed it. I became extemely unhappy, and almost lost myself, but I no longer allow those behaviors, and my life is not controlled by him in any way. I learned to love myself, and I learned to stop negative thinking, and I learned to live.
I send you loving thoughts and best wishes that you will be able to make the right decisions that will empower your life.
2007-08-29 22:51:04 · answer #2 · answered by shevans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself how all of this is affecting your kids? Maybe its better without him around. If he wants to be a partime dad let him be one with out all the benefits of living with you! I've been there I decided to leave when my son started calling his father by the nickname his friends call him instead of daddy. He was never home, it was either work or his "boys" never with me and the kids. He still hangs with his "boys" but my kids now have a daddy that lives at home, loves to be with his family and is a fulltime parent to them. Good Luck!
2007-08-29 22:55:28 · answer #3 · answered by blksista2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why waste the emotion of love on someone that isn't going to give it back to you or your kids?
From experience, its not worth it and he'll just keep twisting your heartstrings until you finally stand up to him and tell him to hit the road. If he wants to be a father to his kids, that is possible even if you two are not together.
I have never understood the mentality of *we have to stay together for the kids sake* (not saying thats what you are saying or even want) but it just makes no sense to me. Two parents - apart - that are happy, leading productive lives, loving their kids and teaching them how to be responsible people - is much better than two people together - more miserable than anything, angry, bitter and throwing insults back and forth - in front of the kids.
Best of luck, hon...its tough but it IS possible....
2007-08-29 22:54:45 · answer #4 · answered by L ♥ L ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive been there...when you and the kids are always second to the streets...yup i was there with my kids dad....i finally had to take a step back and say to myself, that there are too many guys out there that would love to come home to me AND my kids. You dont deserve that kind of treatment and no matter what he tells you, you can do better all by yourself!
2007-08-29 22:54:23 · answer #5 · answered by made it to the top 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love you and your kids and do not take him back again..You and your kids do not need to live a yo yo life with him and he is not going to change. dump him, and let him stay dumped. You go on with your life andyou and your kids will be much better off. How do you do it? Remember how bad you feel when he goes back to his old ways... again and again and again. Is that love? NO so .......
2007-08-29 23:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to do the best thing for you and your kids. thy will feel the same thing you feel about their father. kids pick up on more than we give them credit for. just walk out and do not look back. maybe this will wake him up and make him grow up some. good luck i know it is hard but you have to follow your heart for you and your kids.
2007-08-29 23:01:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to put the children first. They need stability. It is harmful to them to watch him behaving this way.
So, unless he cleans up his act for a good long time first, don't let him back in. Tell him what he has to do to come home, and stick to it.
2007-08-29 23:41:43 · answer #8 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actions speak louder than words. He sounds like he is full of it. That is not love. He sounds selfish and immature.
2007-08-29 22:40:17 · answer #9 · answered by lefttheroom222 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shotgun.
2007-08-29 22:38:47 · answer #10 · answered by mistyxoxoxo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋