Are 5 year olds supposed to read and do patterns?

Question

Are 5 year olds supposed to know patterns and read chapter books? My 5 year old knows basic patterns, but my family is telling me that she is behind because she hasn't known them "long enough" or something, and because she can't read whole books yet. She's known her alphabet, numbers, shapes (including trapezoid, octagon, pentagon), colors etc since she was 3 years old, but she's just recently starting to learn phonics, and she's gotten some down pat so far. I don't think she's BEHIND! She's not a genius, but I think she's on the right track.

I think my family is trying to scare me because I insist on homeschooling, and they want me to enroll her in public school. So they're trying to tell me that she's behind and needs help, in order to lure me in. I've talked to other moms with kids her age that say my daughter's fine, and so does my mom...who's a public school teacher. But I'm here for more opinions.

oops
i meant to say
no your wrong..
I wanted to be homeschooled
my mom and gpa wouldnt let me
because it requires DICIPLINE
which is something she doesnt have yet. and i love you and everything but i disagree whole heartedly
all you talked about for paragraphs was about how "awful" the public schooling system is
well what about how AMAZING it is
i mean some school suck and you have your point with
but not all of them
we have a bizillion schools in the durham district
and i assure you theyre not all awful
i just felt like she would be better off with someone who has a degree in TEACHING...
i mean.. i would want a teacher to teach me.. not my mom... because no matter how much you say your not going to shelter her.. by just making that step you are
your taking her out of the loop of the world
shes going to become like stephen
and i dont want to see that in her )=
and you were talking about how awful the world is
OF COURSE the world sucks
its suposto ...
thats how y

thats how you learn
thats how you grow
thats how you change and get better
not by silly homeschooling and being sheltered
im not trying to hurt you
im just trying to get my point across
which i must have done considering i made you cry
i care about you both so much
thats why i made the effort to give you my point of view
im not trying to tell you how toraise her she's your child not mine
im just telling you my personal experience
and if shes "that gifted" like you were or whatever
they have special classes for that
you can read higher books than the others in your class
but i mean
shes so behind already
shes almost 6 and is just learning patterns and things )=
i know so many other kids younger who can talk in paragraphs and can read little chapter books
i just want the best for her
and you
both of you
because i care
not because im trying to hurt your feelings
cause im not
)=
cause i love you
your family
i was just trying to help

The last 2 installments above consisted of an email I got from my 16 year old cousin tonight (unedited). I really don't know where she's coming from. My daughter's not PERFECT socially, but she is able to converse with people of all ages, get her points across, & nobody else has any difficulty understanding her! She's VERY popular at church, everyone adores her & talks to her & she does very well. So I don't understand why my cousin claims my daughter can't talk in paragraphs! I don't know what she meant about the reference to our cousin Stephen, I don't think he was homeschooled. I'm not going to "shelter" her completely, but I am going to expose her to certain things until she is mature enough to handle it.

And about the first comment on the page...yes, I do know general guidelines of what kindergarteners should know. But EVERYONE has questions sometimes. I really wanted to check with SANE people, instead of the homeschool-bashers who'll say anything to get my kid in ps.

Sorry that I confused you for a moment, I was trying to add details as quick as I could LOL. My cousin went to private school at first, but has been in public school since about 6th grade. And yes, she is a horrible speller and she admits it...actually, if anything she's improved.

I just get so angry when people make unsubstantiated comments. I know that my daughter's not perfect, but who is? Especially at age 5? Isn't the whole point of school to learn the kinds of stuff in question? So why is everyone expecting her to basically already be a completed product before her first schoolyear even starts?! I'm just so hurt by all this.

I'm letting it get to me because this cousin was one of my closest relatives. She was my only hope! And now that she's saying these things, it makes me feel totally alone, you know? I actually don't have a husband to back me up, I'm single & the children don't remember their father.

Also, I'm concerned because people are going behind my back & making my child question my decisions, & I am scared of how this will affect her. She is already saying things to me like, "You're not a teacher, Grammy's a REAL teacher!" & other things along those lines. I feel like other people's comments are making her less than enthusiastic about starting her structured education, because every time I mention how we're about to start officially in a few days, she says we're not supposed to be doing that, & she's supposed to "get on the bus and go to a real school." So I'm concerned about what's going on, and hurt too. I'm not going to let my child be around these people alone til things cool down.

Answer 1

First of all- every child devolpes at a different rate

Second- my step son is in Kindergarden and they are just learning letters and patterns- he is almost 6

Third- I am an elementary school teacher and some students come to kindergarden knowing how to read but its not expected- that's what school is for. In 1st grade the most advanced students read chapter books and some students can't yet read.

Finally- home school is wonderful!!!! Good for you. Your child will get personal attention and you can monitor exactly what they need help in. My cousins were home schooled. Very intellegent girls. One is in college now at Georgia State and getting all A's.

Answer 2

Your child is not behind. Many children don't enter Kindergarten until 6 years old. While many do start at 5, most schools don't really expect reading proficiency until the end of 1st grade. They usually don't expect real fluency with reading until the end of second grade. Your family is just being silly. Go to http://www.worldbook.com to see a typical course of study. Also, just for your information, even the most advanced homeschool curriculum packages usually don't expect a child to be reading at 5, that is why the Kindergarten level of every curriculum starts teaching the ABC's as if they expect that some children won't even know that yet.

What's with all the added details??? Did you do that or someone else??? If you did then was your first question just a hoax to get us all to answer? I hope you'll explain yourself.

Okay, I am glad you explained. For a minute there I was VERY confused.

To your cousin, I'd politely thank her for her concern and then recommend that she read up homeschooling so that she can understand more of what you are trying to do. If she is really only saying that out of love then she should be willing to investigate what you are doing. Ask here to research and come up with some verifiable evidence that homeschooling results in being behind academically, ask her to read everything she can about academic standards for 5 year olds and get back to you when she has something concrete to show that your child is behind. If she refuses to do that then just tell her that you are not interested in an unsubstantiated opinion. You appreciate her concern, but you are the parent and will make the choices for your own daughter.

You might also point out all the spelling and grammar mistakes this cousin made, I am assuming she is a product of public school?

Answer 3

Sweetie, what you need to think to yourself is: "The only people who are critical of homeschooling are the ones who really don't understand it." That is the honest truth. Your child is not behind and you know it. It IS hard to stand against criticism,and criticism from families hurts the most.

However, what I've found is that the naysayers drop as the years pass. When my kids were 5 & 6, yeah, there were people who we knew who made comments. When they were 8 and 9 the comments had pretty much ceased. Now that they are 12 and 13 we get loooots of praise. The education and behavior gap widens as the kids get older.

Another thought here on ps education...in spite of what guidelines say, I find that the ps kids I know, at the end of kinder, can read SOME 3 letter short vowel words,and occasionally I'll meet a kinder graduate who can read 4 letter long vowel words. This may or may not be average, but we've lived in 3 states since having kids, and this has been true in all 3 areas. My mom taught kindergarten in ps for 20+ years, and she taught her class more than that, so maybe I have lived in areas with below-average ps.

Answer 4

As a number of the posters here have already said, each child develops differently, and your child is certainly NOT behind her peer group. Continue to work with her and she'll pick these things up as she becomes ready.

What I'm more concerned about from reading your post is you personally. Please forgive my attitude but - why on earth are you allowing your 16 year old cousin to bully you? You have stated that both you (a mother) and your mother (a teacher) feel like your child's development is fine, why are you concerned about the opinion of someone who is neither? (and additionally for all of her advocation of the public school system's 'benefits' apparently cannot use proper grammer and form, punctuate, or even capitalize properly)? For the sake of your sanity and your child you need to put your foot down (as Glurpy and hoamsch1 mentioned above). If you truly believe that this is the best choice for you and your child then that is the final word, despite the 'opinions' of your so-called well-meaning family (and I say so-called because if they were actually well-meaning they would support your decisions and parental authority instead of attempting to undermine them and destroy your self-confidence). The next time someone in your family raises the subject you need to change it, and if they persist you need to tell them quite frankly "We are happy and my child is progressing just fine. Thank you for your concern and you are welcome to your opinion, but I will make the decisions that are best for my own child." and leave it at that. Don't get into it any more, it is apparent that nothing you say will change their minds, and you're only adding to your own stress if you continue to try. While you may think that statement sounds rude, how rude are they being by constantly questioning your decision making process?

You really need to nip this in the bud now before it continues to take a further toll on your self-confidence. Keep reminding yourself that you are doing whats best for your daughter and that the opinions of your family are not as important as your own as your child's mother and teacher. I wish you the very best of luck.

Answer 5

Well, I don't know who is telling u that ur child is behind. They either don't have children or have child prodigies. I learned to read when i was 6 in the 1st grade. In second grade i was at a 5th grade reading level. Most children learn to read one sentence a page books when they are 5. If your child is like almighty prodigy then he or she will learn to read at about 3 or 4. As far as home schooling, I used to be against it cuz i thought that it inhibits the child from interaction, but now i am all for it. There are special classes and projects and groups for home schooled children. Also i know someone that was homeschooled. She graduated at 14. At 17 She had an associates degree.

Answer 6

Some can and some can't. Although most kids do read in Kindergarten, the truth is that many of them shouldn't be reading yet.

Research has shown that the average child who is exposed to the alphabet and language as a young child (by being read to, singing ABC song, etc.) and who's formal education is put off until their language development is complete (at age 7 or 8) will, in reading, be ahead of his peers who began their formal education at age five. Those children who are ready to read at a younger age usually do so on their own.

Your daughter is just fine and does not need to read yet unless she is ready.

Answer 7

Yep, sounds on track to me too. These days kids are 5-6 in kindergarten and they learn to count, do addition, identify, extend, and create patterns, letter sounds, and beginning reading. Extremely few five year olds read even simple chapter books. About two more years or so for that. Make sure that you have appropriate resources to guide you in your home schooling so that you will know what is the normal expectation for given ages. But, remember that kids are unique and one of the best reasons for home schooling is so you can fit the education to your child's exact needs and readiness. Happy teaching!

You are allowing this kind of input from a 16 year old to distress you? You might be on the right track in thinking that you should keep your children away from people who are trying to undermine your parenting decisions.

Answer 8

Perhaps too much focus is being put on his bad behavior? I have 4 1/2 year old twins and we started a reward system for them. We have a branch with lots of smaller branches coming off in the corner of our house and each time the girls do something good (this can be any behavior you want to encourage) they get to decorate a paper leaf and tie it too the tree. We have had fantastic success with this as the girls are always looking for things they can do to get more leaves. We were having a problem with them not doing anything for themselves and screaming at their daycare teacher when she asked them to do something. They now make their own beds (not very well but they do it) pour their own drinks, rinse out their breakfast bowls and all kinds of things that make my life easier just so they can get a leaf on their tree. I can understand how your wife feels about picking your son up as I would dread hearing that my children had been screaming at people each time they were asked to do something. If all else fails perhaps you could take your son the the family Dr and make sure this isn't just a behavior problem. Hope some of this helps and best of luck to you and your wife.

Answer 9

My Five year old is being homeschooled this year and here's what we're doing we went to Kmart and bought a $10.00 workbook for math and one for phonics they both have activities for the entire year and by the end he should be reading pretty well for a 5 year old. No he can't read yet but I know I'm capable of teaching him how and so are you. So for the family that says you should put them in to school remember this. Their decision to let the school system raise they're kids was right for them but not necessarily right for you.

Answer 10

This is a classic attempt at trying to convince you to do what they want you to do. You're going to have to put your foot down and say, "You know what, I've made this decision. You don't have to like it, but I'd appreciate it if you'd actuall accept it. You're not going to change my mind and the more you try, the more I'm determined to continue homeschooling." STOP DEFENDING YOURSELF and trying to explain. You won't convince them any more than they'll convince you.

You could also tell them that Thomas Edison wasn't reading books until age 7-8 and Abraham Lincoln didn't read until age 14 and neither one of them would have ever done math work with patterns.