My fiance wants to plan out a wedding for both of us. I appreciate her thought and all, but I'd rather just go through the paperwork and get it over with. I figure that our honeymoon would be far worth remembering. What am I supposed to tell her?
2007-08-29 13:02:04 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Simple advice - Happy wife, happy life.
Yes, going to the justice of the peace may be simple, but it is her day. Let her splurge and decide what she wants, but you need to remember who she wants to be her husband for the rest of her life. No matter how much hassle and money a wedding cost, it is her day.
2007-08-29 13:35:24 · answer #1 · answered by J 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know weddings seem like a lot of fuss and to her it is worth it because she has probably thought about it for so long. I know how she feels, I am currently planning my wedding for next year. A wedding is celebration of your love for each other and it is a memorable occasion. Even if you don't want a wedding now, on the day you will have so much fun with her and your family and friends. Remember, you gettting married is a very special time for hers and your parents too, and while it is not about them but about you, they would also love to help you celebrate your marriage. Maybe you could compromise and have a wedding, just make it a small one with just some very close family and have a small ceremony. You don't even have to have a reception, it's up to you but you can still have your party in a low-cost fun way. You could just have a ceremony at a nice house and a small dinner too. But if she wants a big wedding, ask her why she does. Maybe she just wants a special day in which your family and friends can be apart of. If you don't want to spend much money, you can still do weddings for cheap. Look in some wedding/bridal mags, they have some great money saving tips. Not wanting a wedding kind of gives the message that you aren't that interested and just ' doing the paperwork' is not a great way to celebrate your love and marriage. Remember, she will remember and cherish this day forever and it's only one day so do her a big favour and let her have some kind of wedding. She will be very grateful for it and who knows, you might even enjoy it! Good luck!
2007-08-29 21:30:32 · answer #2 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You do what every smart guy does and just let her go with it. HOWEVER, you place limits....number of people, the amount of money to spend on the wedding-reception-honeymoon, etc, etc, etc. Tell her you would prefer a VERY small, casual wedding and HUGE honeymoon than the other way around. And stress the fact that she gets X dollars for the whole shebang....the more she spends on the party, the less she gets for the trip.
In a nutshell, it's called "compromise."
2007-08-29 20:14:31 · answer #3 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm the same way- only we're the opposite. I'm the girl and I only want the paper work, and my fiance's the man but he wants the big wedding. I think it's RIDICULOUS to spend on that money for one day.... but anyway, we just made a compromise. For my fiance, it's the religious part of the wedding that's so important, so a JP wouldn't be recognized by God. I told him we could only have so many people, I'm only going to give him two dances, and I get to choose EVERYTHING else. lol. It's working so far, I'm just going with the flow since it's important to him, and relationships are about sacrifices. In your case I would just say that "okay, let's have one, but this is our budget and we can't go over it".
2007-08-29 20:13:12 · answer #4 · answered by BlackDahlia 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You compromise. I was like you I didnt want a wedding but my husband did. So we had a very small one. Looking back I am so glad we had our small wedding, and our honeymoon, both are worth remembering!
Not every girl wants a wedding by the way to some people.
2007-08-29 20:10:00 · answer #5 · answered by Cebsme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Work out a compromise. Find things that you might enjoy about a wedding (ie music, writing your own vows, having a bachlor party, seeing how beautiful she is in her gown, man there has to be a few things you'd like) Set some boundaries, money, # of guest, etc. You might also set a time a couple of days a week that you can talk about the plans (just limit that time if you don't want it to run on forever.) And remind her how special she is to you and how excited you are about your marriage.
2007-08-29 21:19:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you'll compromise by having a small wedding. You can convince her that you don't want a big wedding, but if you don't do the wedding thing and let her have her white-dress moment, she's going to feel cheated and she'll probably resent you for it. You need to compromise on this one. It's probably very important to her.
2007-08-29 20:08:11 · answer #7 · answered by muriel12 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Time to learn how to compromise.
Since this is both YOURS and HER day, you need to sit down and hash out how you want to have the wedding.
Some choices:
1. JOP wedding (you two, officiant, witnesses) and a huge BBQ reception with relatives and friends.
2. Small wedding and small reception.
Compromise! Talk it out with her. Just remember it is YOUR day too.
2007-08-30 11:17:43 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her the truth - I didn't want a wedding, yet we're having one - but at least when i get frustrated with all of the planning, he knows that I'm doing it because I love him... just be honest, she might not appreciate it in the beginning, as most women believe in the fairy tale wedding - but honesty (done gently and in love) is the best policy
2007-08-29 20:45:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most guys I know feel this way. True love puts someone else's wants/desires ahead of their own. If this had been her dream since she was a little girl you might want to indulge her a little. Be her dreammaker - be her prince charming. It only lasts a little while and then it's over. She'll remember it the rest of her life.
2007-08-29 20:08:47 · answer #10 · answered by dfaithful1 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋