Cheating and love? Do they go together?

Question

Im talking about my ex...we broke up like a year ago...only now i found out that he had cheated on me...i dont care now,cause we are not together..but what bothers me is that he loved me so much...he was crazy about me,always gave me nice gifts,took care of me,did everything for me...i broke up with him after a year of dating cause of his drinking habits... he was so sad,he would bag me on his knees to give him another chance, he would not leave me alone...one time i agreed to go for coffee with him and he proposed to me...i said no...we remained friends,although he said that i ruined his life by leaving him ....and then now i find out he cheated....i really dont get it...how he loved me so much and cheated on me? sometimes he still calls me and talks to me...i know he still loves me...so pls explain to me what i dont get here... he was 29 at the time,very mature man...

he doesnt know that i found out..and yes,it was only one night thing....

Answer 1

OK . . . THIS MAY NOT BE WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR . . . BUT IT WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION.

>> Cheating and love? Do they go together? <<

Well, first , you need to understand exactly what "love" is.

LOVE -->> Is the overwhelming desire to GIVE.
Whether a mother has a love for her child,
Or a wife enjoys making her man happy,
Or a guy really, really likes a girl.

WHEN YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEONE,
YOU WANT TO "GIVE" TO THEM.

Its NEVER measured by what you GET. That's why people you GIVE the most to . . . become the "ones you love" the most. And, it also explains why people who TRY and give MORE to you, are NOT necesssarily people YOU "love".

LOVE -->> Is the overwhelming desire to GIVE.
Which also goes PERFECTLY in sync with YOUR STORY (above).

And, being "IN" love, is when TWO people have the overwhelming desire to GIVE (to each other) - EQUALLY.

OK, so now that we have established THAT, and your man REALLY, REALLY seemed to love you , and he loved giving to you. . . .

IT IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO LOVE (give to) ONE WOMAN . . . . AND BE FULLY CAPABLE OF 'CHEATING' (taking or getting) FROM ANOTHER.

I didn't say it was RIGHT.
I said it was POSSIBLE.

When people "cheat" -->> They TAKE for themselves.

And after all . . . no man (or woman ) MUST be in love to have sex. Sex is not Love. Love is not Sex.

In fact, people who don't understand that, have not accepted that SEX is based solely on the instant, natural concept of ATTRACTION. . . . . while LOVE is based on so many OTHER things that are EARNED OVER TIME.

Besides . . . . everyone knows many women WITHHOLD sex from men for ALL KINDS of reasons. Sometimes even right up until the WEDDING. But even women who DON'T withhold sex . . . don't nescessarily GIVE the sex HE REALLY WANTS. A man who really CARES about the sex he is given . . . will want to (at least) LOOK elsewhere. AND THE SAME IS TRUE FOR WOMEN.

She doesn't GIVE.
So he is gonna be tempted TAKE.

Even a woman who DOES GIVE,
Does NOT fulfill a man's desire to TAKE.
(Think about THAT one for a few minutes.)

So, it's ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE for someone to WANT TO LOVE (give) to one person . . . . and have sex (TAKE, just for the sex) from someone ELSE.

When 'cheaters' say something like -->> "It was just sex. It didn't mean anything. I didn't mean to hurt you. I swear. I love you. I really do. You must believe me." . . . . it's not bullsh*t. They are NOT lying.

LOVING -->> IS GIVING.
CHEATING -->> IS TAKING.

So, do they GO together?? No.
But they DEFFINITELY explain each other.

That should answer ALL of your question(s) perfectly.

Cheers.

:)

Answer 2

Either A you will have cheated or B you have certainly not been cheated on earlier than. I simply broke it off with my fience witch was once a 5 12 months courting. I cherished her dearly she had a one month affair and it wrecked me emotinaly and physicaly. We did attempt to paintings via it however i simply could not seem at her the equal anymore it is been three months now and that i nonetheless can slightly do whatever. I think as my existence has frozen she was once fairly sorry approximately it however i simply uncover it humorous how you'll do some thing so egocentric and simply assume to be forgiven. It is not any **** the worst time of my existence. I might as an alternative die then move via this once more.

Answer 3

If a man really loves you, he wouldn't cheat on you no matter what. Sure he could admire other women, but then he would stick to you by all means. Looks like he's the only one can really answer that. But if you ask me, no, love and cheating do not go together. Since you're still friends with him, why don't you ask him why he acts and claims that he was head over heels with you, when in fact he cheated. Hear him out first, and then if you disagree with what he said, let him hear your side and your opinion. Maybe you can settle that as well, just so your friendship will go smooth. Because if I were you, even if I'm friends with him, I still couldn't get over the fact that he cheated on me.

Answer 4

A lot of men who cheat buy you gifts and pay extra attention to you; they tell you they love you so often because they are feeling guilty about the things they are doing on the side. Some of them really think they love you but love and cheating NEVER go together. When someone really loves you they cherish and respect you. Mature men don't cheat on you..EVER. It hurts because of what you thought you had turns out it was something different. It will go away with time; let him in the past where he belongs.

Answer 5

No I think that you have the mature thing all wrong. He was and is not a mature man. He is not ready to grow up yet. He was in love with the thought of you but he can not keep control of himself and so can not allow himself to be in love with you. The gifts were to buy your love. I just divorced a 48 yo man with the same issues. He doesn't like himself really and that is why he drinks. He thinks that if he buys you gifts then it will make everything better. He may even go to AA meetings just to appease you but he will not go for himself. He needs counseling to get back on the right life course before he can share his life with another. This will take a long time. If you are willing to wait for him you will be waiting for a very long time. You need to move on you deserve much better than that. Good Luck

Answer 6

It is still possible for a man to do cheat on you even if he does love you. Maybe, there was something that he was waiting to receive from you, an act of appreciation, perhaps, but you weren't able to pick up the message.
Maybe, if he did cheat on you the feeling over the other woman was less than he had for you. He wouldn't want you back anyway if he does not feel more for you.
Just go about with your life. Good luck.

Answer 7

So you've just proved that a person can love you and still have sex with someone else. Sex is a physical act. What's love got to do with sex? If you don't want to give this guy a 2nd chance, then don't but don't complain that he "cheated" on you. His having sex with someone else had nothing to do with you. A lot of women can't and won't accept this line of thinking. It's a fact of life. Not everything in a relationship is about her. A guy has rights and needs.

See Waterdragon's answer below!

Answer 8

cheating does not really go with love --- guys dont really think they are cheating because they dont want to leave --- they want to see if they are desirable to the opposite sex, for sex with a different person and im sure other reasons. Sometimes it is looking to see if there is someone "better"

it does not happen when the guy decides that he has found the best match and ignores or at least does not lust after other ladies

Answer 9

Sweetie, love and cheating don't mix. He did love you it sounds like, and he probably still does. But sometimes love isn't enough, I should know. He needs to learn respect and trust, and age isn't a crutch for him. I've known 34 year olds who act this way. Don't let it get to you ok? Just let it in the past, move on and find your soul mate. Good luck and take care...Hope I was helpfull ^^

Answer 10

You probably caused him to be desperate for love. It sounds like you kept turning him away. I'm not saying you should have stayed together if you are best apart though. If he had a drinking problem, I wouldn't have stood for it. Did he cheat on you with a steady girlfriend, or a one time thing, or a drunken one time thing? Not that it really matters, but he wouldn't have done anything like that if he truly loved you.