What age should you start disciplining your child?

Question

My daughter is 18 months old and becoming very bratty. She's had testing and the results show she is ahead for her age. She is very smart. I think she may understand when something is wrong, but I feel like its too early to discipline her. I've done some yelling of "no" and some slapping on the wrist. She doesn't really react to it. I don't want to hurt her or have her associate me with abuse. I'm afraid that by the time she becomes two, she will be a terror.

Answer 1

When they can comprehend it. They don't have to talk to understand right from wrong.

Answer 2

Your child is old enough for discipline. I don't know about the slapping on the wrist, but a time out would be ok. My daughter was also very ahead for her age and she is now 3 on a 5 year old level. I am a firm believer in time outs. If she will sit there. If she won't then just keep telling her what behavior she did wrong, what to do next time, and stick to that EVERY time. Also, if time outs are beyond her at this point, then just redirect her attention to something else to preoccupy her so she forgets the negative behavior. Good luck!
katie

Answer 3

Most toddlers are terrors.

Prepare for it, its a phase that will pass. Your job is to let her know that expressing her feelings can be done in the good way or the bad way.

I don't really recommend slapping your child on the hand. Her hand is very delicate and spanking the hand could seriously hurt her. Upper forearm is okay if that's what works, I only spank if my child (25 months) is endangering himself. Other than that, a firm voice and easy expaination gets his attention.

If you feel bad for spanking your child during or after...its because you DID do it wrong. Spankings shoud always be done when you are calm and collected.

18 months of age is plenty old enough to be taught wrong from right. If she hits you, tell her no and show her another way of expressing her anger.

18 month olds are going through a lot at that age, their discovering their own personal feelings and are bound to have a hissy fit when they don't get what they want when they want HOW they want it. You are not alone. Try to work with her. She needs lots of attention for the good that she does and she needs a good role model and someone to trust (you). Try to get away from the angry-mom-spankings.

Enforce your disipline precedures as well. A lot of moms feel bad as soon as those tears start flowing. Ha, just wait till she tells you that your mean! My son tells me that all the time. But he knows I love him. Anyway, don't spank, or say no firmly and then after they start crying swaddle her or say your sorry. Walk away. Wait a few minutes and then tell her you love her but that what she did was wrong!

I gtg, good luck.

Answer 4

I think disciplining really depends on how much you think your child understands, but at the same time it doesn't hurt to start early. My daughter just started crawling a week ago and of course is into everything, so I have started telling her "no that will hurt you" when she is geting into something dangerous. I also redirect her attention to somthing else. I know that write now she doesn't understand what i'm telling her but eventually she'll get it. I think what your doing now is good, maybe try short timeouts. No longer than a minute though.
Don't get discouraged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Lets just say this nip it in the butt. My daughter is 29 months I never disciplined her until she was 2 and it was a downfall. But I have learned that timeout work best. Give her a timeout for 1 to 2 minutes actually have a timer set and tell her that she can get up once the timer is up and tell her why she is there. And once the timer is over tell her again why she is there. Time outs are much more efficient then spanking. I have spanked my child a few times and all that teaches is that it is okay to hit and that is not okay. Try the time outs. And as long as you are not beating or hurting your child then it is not abuse if you hold off too long for discipline it will backfire.

Answer 6

I think you are on the right track about her being smart. The fact that she is ahead of her age means you will have to realize she understands more than most kids that age would. Jump it up 6 mos or so. Start expecting better from her, but give clear instruction first. Always remember, your parental example is what she will copy. You need to start the time outs...and hold her to it-literally, if you must. Not everything requires a swat. I did the swats for direct malicious defiance. Make it appropriate but don't be idiotic and always show you are in authority. (Don't sabotage yourself by laughing.) Slap the hand, if she's say, grabbing your hair...never her face. As a single parent, when my two were just 6 and 8, my dad brought me a specially handmade paddle. It was a white-painted 2x4 with holes drilled in it with a handle. (I hid it, but they knew I had it.) He wrote on it, 'Fanny wacker, loves sweet song." We talked about it when he gave it to me. They knew they're grandpa loved them more than anything. The children also knew I would only use it if I told them I would, but would faithfully do it EVERY time I told them I would.) Don't say it-if you aren't going to back it up, and for God's sake, don't use it for everything! Decide ahead and explain as they are able...example...lying, violence, vandalizing. Be diligent, you are creating your heritage.

Answer 7

She sounds like a great kid! I love smart babies with personalities.

Make sure you don't get into arguments with her that teach her how to be bratty from watching you. Think about how you can build a sense of common goals and teamwork.

I always went along with what my little boy said (even if it was "no") and pretended like I totally agreed. Of course I removed him from dangerous situations, or put him in his bed, but all the while agreeing with him and assuring him that he had every right to his opinion. It seemed to take the conflict out of so many situations.

Boundaries are for a baby's safety. Communicate this: Show her that dangerous/inappropriate things make you scared. Help her share your concern. Tell her it's your job to take care of her and you insist on doing it right.

Celebrate your wonderful child!

Answer 8

The original meaning of the word 'discipline' is guidance, not necessarily shouting and slapping. You can guide a child in a calm, gentle way. This way you won't set the example of acting like a brat yourself. As soon as she can understand, tell her the reason why she shouldn't do something. Also, ignoring her, or letting her bear the concequences of her actions are more effective ways of punishing.

Answer 9

My daughter turns two this month, and I discipline her all the time. I started when she was like 6 months, as far as lightly tapping her hand and telling her no. That, to me, is still discipline. I started spanking when she started walking. My daughter can be a total terror sometimes too, but its normal. She is claiming her independence, and I have to let her do that. My daughter is advanced too. She can sing a whole song in the right tune, she can count to 10, and she isn't even 2 yet (altho I tell people she is sometimes :o)) When I tell her do not do this or you have to do that, she knows what I am saying to her. When she throws her little temper tantrums I whoop her little butt. We have to teach our children who is boss at an early age, otherwise they will run all over you when they get older. If you don't whoop your kids and they grow up and all you do to them is tell them no, they will not care to disobey you. They will think, "yeah right what are you gonna do?"

I hope I helped, thats just my opinion.

Answer 10

You need to start disciplining her now, as you need to start setting the ground rules early. discipline doesn't always have to be a harsh, bad thing. we used to sit down with our daughter and explain why her behavior was not allowed, and make her say I'm sorry. It took time and effort but paid off in the long run. It was funny later on when she was about 4 and was playing with friends and I overheard her say to one of them "That is not acceptable behavior"-such big words coming out of a little girl's mouth.

Answer 11

When my daughter was little (from about 18 months on) I would get a serious look on my face and say very calmly, "when you do that, it upsets mommy. I know you know how to behave and that you don't like to disappoint me," or some variation of that. It seemed to work really well.

I reserved the word "no" for extreme situations so it wouldn't lose its importance - like running into the street or grabbing something hot. I gave simple "positive" instructions like "leave it alone" or "touch with one finger" instead of telling her what she couldn't do.